Showing Up
by Carynthian
Summary: All Mac wants to do is focus on his work, but when a case goes awry he has a hitman after him. With the help of old friends and a romance rekindling, things might actually be set right. (New chapters coming soon)
1. Chapter 1: Best Day of My Life

Chapter 1: Best Day of My Life

Being back stateside brings back some of my least favourite memories. I wouldn't even know where to start. A father who tried to push me into politics, that's where I'll begin. It's sort of like when your parents take you to church and Sunday should your entire childhood, if you have much sense to you, you begin to resent it, and eventually reject them entirely. And man do I hate politics.

I pulled on my white wrap dress, tying the bow on my right hip and matching it with a nude pump. I stopped at one of the millions of generic hipster coffee shops on the way to the Palo Alto centre this morning, I needed the boost. Little did I know it was the stupidest thing I would ever do. I smiled at the pretty girl behind the counter as she handed me my triple shot latte, and turned to leave, flipping my hair slightly in the process, letting the deep golden tones catch the bring sunshine. As I made it to the door I was stopped by a kind stranger opening the plate glass for me. "Lola?" He asked in a low, sleek tone that I would recognise anywhere. I looked up from my most important current possession (coffee) to see him. I frowned for a moment, acting as though I didn't know exactly who he was. "Angus?" I asked softly, my middle class British accent contrasting harshly against his slightly Texan twang. "Yeah!" He grinned; as though I was that bring sunshine outside. "I had no idea you were back in the country, how are you?" I considered how to answer this for a minute, before letting a little honestly pass my lips. "I'm actually late for work. It was nice to see you again." It came out cold, and slightly pained. I didn't meant to be that honest. I stepped out the door without another word, being sure not to look back. I got into my car down the street and drove to work, trying to ignore the problem until I could really devote time to it.

When I got back to the house after work I realised what had happened to me that morning. It has been 13 years since I have seen Angus MacGyver, each one letting reminders sink in. Don't get me wrong, the two jobs I have, Tesla and some freelance contracting, they keep me busy. But you never forget the body you lose your virginity to. You never forget the first kiss, the first 'I love you', the first being caught by a parent. The first time (and only) time I was carted from a country kicking and screaming for being in bed with a boy. Granted we were 15, but my father overreacted. I don't think I ever really forgave him for that. He took me away from everything I had known the 3 years leading up to that moment, and Germany was a tough adjustment. Not the language of course, I was fluent from about 7, but you never get over Angus MacGyver.


	2. Chapter 2: Showing Up

Chapter 2: Showing Up

Angus was at the coffee shop again this morning, he tried to make eye contact with me across the room but I frowned at him, causing him to sit back in his seat and look away. Having said this of course, I had been drawn back to the coffee shop in the first place; I think a part of me was hoping he would be there. But when I saw him it just upset me again. I wasn't supposed to have this sort of emotional reaction, not now.

I can't tell you how he knew, but Angus caught up with me on my run tonight. He was sat on the hood of a car three up from mine in the Venice Beach mile 52 parking lot. I stopped short of his position, staring him down. "I know what this looks like, I promise I'm not stalking you." He said, trying to smile through it with his hands extended in surrender. "Angus, I thought I made myself pretty clear."

"You did, but I just want you to know that I feel awful." He said, a hand moving to his heart as he stepped towards me. "I was a scared kid, anybody would be scared of your dad, but that isn't an excuse. You were worth more than the effort I made for you, and if you never talk to me again I understand, but I need you to know that I cared about you then, and I care about you now." I stared at him. I wasn't sure what to do. Would you accept an apology like this? The look is his beautiful blue eyes seemed so genuine, the way he welled up slightly, not enough to change his face, but enough to make me believe him. Entirely believe him. "Thank you." I said, a catch in my throat that I didn't put there. I swallowed hard. "That means a lot." I said, letting a slight smile creep into the corner of my mouth. He nodded and dropped his arms, his posture relaxing as he felt the bad blood between us dissipate. "Look uh, I remember you used to love taking pictures, of everything. There's a gallery opening this weekend. It's Eloise, from high school. She actually did it. I was invited."

"I was too." I nodded.

"Awesome." He said, a smile pulling onto his face that he immediately composed. "Well uh, if you show up, I'd really like that." He said, as though there was no appropriate way to tell me he wanted me to go with him. I nodded as he had before, and gave him the same small smile. "It was nice to see you Angus." I said.

"You know, everyone calls me Mac."

"I'm not everyone." I said, shaking my head a little. There was pleasure in my facial expression, a kinship with him that he reciprocated.

I wore a dark green dress to Eloise's gallery opening, complementing the redder tones in my curls. I pinned one side back and wore a large dragon ear cuff, my silver Sagittarius choker slightly lose around my throat. The gallery was in a beautiful old house downtown. It reminded me of a club in England called Antwerp Mansion, in a fantastic and extravagant house that hadn't seen love long enough for people to give up on it. The paint was peeling from the corners of the walls, the staircase hadn't been polished in over a decade, but the house itself was mesmerising in its detail and tranquillity. When I walked through the foyer the first person I saw was Angus. He was on the phone, and at the sight of me he growled something in hushed tones at the person on the other end, before crossing the room to my side. "You have to get out of here." He said sternly.

"What? Why?" I frowned.

"I can't explain, but you should leave." The look in his eyes was too cold for fear, and all too quickly I noticed the same signs I had seen in my father as a child. "… Who is you target?" I said slowly.

"What?" He said, horrified by my question.  
"What you think I wouldn't notice? The hushed phone calls, the quietly getting people you care about to safety? The brave look in your eye like you're about to do something wrong for the right reasons." I said sadly. He studied my face for a moment. "… I need you to be safe." He admitted, though the tone was unwaveringly stern.

"No Angus. You need me to be here. Who is he?" I asked again, turning from his grasp on my arm and surveying the large former dining room in front of me. "Lola, please."

"He must be large, because you're scared, and powerful, because you aren't the agent to be sent after thugs. He probably has a security detail, one he doesn't need. Judging by how badly you want me out of here I would assume he's here alone, of course apart from his guards, because that would be a way in I had that wasn't yours." I turned back to Angus and looked him in the eye. "And the last thing you want is for me to get involved."

"I get it Lola." He said through gritted teeth. "You're smart. You know people, you always have. But you can't help."

"What does he have?" I asked softly, ignoring Angus's tone altogether. "Nuclear plans? A hostage? Information?" I asked watching his face for micro-expressions. "Information. A flash drive I assume."

"Lola." Angus cautioned.

"Angus, Rocky Balboa over there isn't going into a room alone with you, without his detail. I on the other hand." I said turning and stepping away from him.

"Lola!" He called after me. I said nothing, ignoring him entirely.

I crossed the room slowly, giving a sultry eye to the large, tanned man looking at the portrait of a naked woman. As I approached him he noticed me, and stared me down without question. I neared the man, and we were stood almost at arms' reach had it not been for the waiter who brushed by the man's shoulder. He ripped the last martini from the waiter's tray, just as I reached for it myself. "I am so sorry, of course you can have the drink." He said, a strong Eastern European accent pushing through his weak American one. "Благодаря (Blagodarya)." I smiled, taking a guess at his accent. "Исках само маслината (Iskakh samo maslinata)." I said, taking the toothpick from the glass and seductively sucking the olive between my lips.

"Your Bulgarian is nearly flawless." He said, letting his accent fall out as his smile stretched across his slightly acne scarred face.

"Thank you. I learnt as a child I haven't practiced in years."

"You have an excellent memory then." He smiled, his eyes slipping between my lips and my breasts. "What brought you to California Mr?"

"Zonochev." He said, reaching for my hand and kissing the back of it.

"Mr Zonochev, what brought you? Business or pleasure."

"Business, but I could be persuaded to stay for pleasure." He smirked at me. I smiled back with a devil in my eye, leaning in towards him.

"I hear there is a private set of photos in the library upstairs. Would you be interested in finding out with me?" I asked.

"Da, please, lead the way." He smiled. I turned slightly, watching as he gestured to the two men speaking by the near window to stay where they were.

Mr Zonochev followed me up the stairs, the occasional grunt escaping him as he watched my ass intently. I took him to what I assumed was the library, and through another door where the library actually ended up being. The majority of the books had been ripped from the high ceiling shelves, leaving only rotting wood and some dusty reading chairs remaining. This room was situated at the back of the house, with three sides covered in expensive book cases and large doors, the other I assume had windows once, now covered by the patented rotting wood that covered all the walls. I assumed Angus wasn't far behind us, leaving me only to buy time until he got here. "Looks like I was wrong." I shrugged, turning to him. "Zadushi me." I said quietly, smirking at him as I turned my back to one of the book cases. He grinned, and suddenly his large hand wrapped around my throat, his huge mass forcing me back against the bookcase. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, it was a terrifying moment. "Hey!" Mr Zonochev looked round to see Angus coming in from the far door, leaping chairs and discarded books to face him head on, regardless that Angus was half the man's size. He let go of me, turning to Angus just as he punched Mr Zonochev in the stomach. It did almost nothing to him, he hardly even moved. The look on Angus's face was priceless, unfortunately it didn't last long, as Zonochev threw him across the room like he was swatting a fly. Angus landed on one of the degrading chairs and it crumbled beneath him. Zonochev turned back to me, grabbing my neck again, this time with more force. I fumbled in his pockets as he groped at my breast with his other hand, snarling as he enjoyed the power he had over me. His body guards had heard the commotion and burst into the room the same door we had come from. Zonochev let me go, to order them around I assume. He never got the chance.

I reached under the high slit in my skirt to take out my knives. Two daggers, the sharpest things anyone will touch, to my pride. I slashed his back, leaving him bloodied, and then took a knee to slash the back of his. He dropped, yelling out in agony, and I passed him to get to his guards as they charged me. I used one of the more stable looking shelves as leverage and jumped above the two men, dropping between them and slashing a shoulder either side. I turned as they did, and whipped round, slashing their throats without a second thought, nor a second cut needed. Both men dropped to their knees and bled out on the expensive moth eaten rug. I knelt down and said a short prayer, before wiping my knives on the backs of their jackets and holstering them. I looked up to see the unfortunate picture that Mr Zonochev had gotten away, and given the choice between chasing him and seeing to Angus, I knew which one I would choose.

"Angus? Angus, look at me." I said, cradling his head in my hands before helping him stagger over to one of the other chairs.

"Did you just save my life?" He asked, dazed.

"Maybe." I smiled.

"Are you hiding daggers on your thighs?"

"Maybe." I said, not wiping the smile away.

"That's …" He said, dropping out of consciousness entirely. I reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, using his finger for access. The last person he called was a direct line to something called the Phoenix Foundation, and I hit redial. "Phoenix Foundation reception, how may I direct your call?"  
"I have your agent, Angus MacGyver. He's hurt really bad, I need to talk to his team."

"I'm sorry miss, I think you have the wrong number, the Phoenix Foundation is a think tank."

"Sure it is." I said flatly.

"Look if you don't put me through he's gonna die, do you really want that on your conscience?"

"I'm sorry miss, I really don't-." Before the idiot could finish her sentence the line cut out, and a new voice appeared.

"Who are you?" The tone was stern and commanding, sort of reminded me of my mother. I had a messed up childhood.

"This is Lola, Angus is here, he's hurt."

"Lola what?" The voice asked.

"Lola Williams." Another voice interjected. I would recognise that voice anywhere.

"Wilt?" I asked with a frown.

"Hey Lola!" He called. There was a short silence. "She, Mac and I went to high school together. She knew the artist too." He explained.

"I don't care. Can she be trusted?" The stern voice asked.

"Oh yeah, Lola's sound, her parents are diplomats, hell she probably knows more secret agencies than you do Matty." Wilt joked.

"Wilt! Angus is hurt!" I said, commanding the room.

"What?" He asked, snapping out of his free tone. "How bad?"

"I don't know, he's unconscious. You need to get a medical team out here." I heard a short silence.

"They're on their way." Matty said, her voice slightly less harsh.

"Good." I nodded, sharing down at Angus's face. The beads of sweat dripping from him in the pain and summer heat.

I would assume at least a few broken ribs, a concussion maybe. I wouldn't know. I slipped the stolen flash drive into Angus's wallet, put it back in his jacket, and left before his extraction team showed up.


	3. Chapter 3: Fear on Fire

Chapter 3: Fear on Fire

It was the early hours of the following morning when I visited Angus in hospital. I arrived at the same moment his guard went to the cafeteria to get some food. It had just past 4am when I walked in. He was beaten, broken and bruised. The cuts on his face were healing well, the sprinters removed from his forearm. I traced a finger along the bandages. I found myself sitting on the side of his bed. He was out cold, and I could say anything I wanted to him. "I won't let anything happen to you, Angus." I whispered, without thinking. "... I'll keep you safe."

I didn't want to stay too long in there in case his guard came back, so I kissed his forehead softly and left without another word.

I woke up this morning on my sofa. I wasn't worried for Angus; I knew he was taken care of. He was doing fine, his vital signs were good. He had a concussion and a few broken ribs, just as I had assumed. I got dressed as I would any other day, and went about my business forgetting for a moment what I had been a part of. As though I was a regular woman, working at Tesla, going to meetings, taking yoga classes, eating lunch from Pret. For a whopping 37 hours everything remained fine. 37 hours felt like forever.

At noon two days later, a man showed up at my door. He was a man I was glad to see, and a man who was glad to see me, too. "Your life is in danger." He said with a stern frown and a locked jaw.

"Not quite the entrance I expected." I said, a slight smile catching the corner of my mouth. He looked me up and down for a minute, before exhaling heavily. "I need you to come to the Phoenix Foundation. Right now." He said, taking a step back and extending his hand to me.

"Why?" He huffed at my question.

"Riley found a contract out on my life online yesterday. There's a good bet that it was posted by Zonochev."

"He doesn't even know my name."

"If he knows mine, he knows yours." He could see that I wasn't stepping out of my house, and let out a third and final huff, playing on what we had once. "Please, just give me an hour where you aren't stubborn, just so we can figure out how to keep you safe." He seemed exasperated, but there was some level of desperation in his voice. I nodded, and without another word, I left with him.

I was taken to a large new build across the valley, through metal detectors, where I had to relinquish my knives. As reluctant as I was, I did as they asked. I was lead through hallway after hallway of labs, meeting rooms, and the occasional room with chairs that weren't really chairs. The places that crack psychologists tell you to go into to relax and breathe, because the strange curve of the banana shaped chair is supposed to be relaxing. I was lead into a large room with glass walls, where Angus's team – Wilt included – sat waiting for something. "Guys, this is Lola. Lola, this is Jack, Riley and Matty, and of course you know Bozer." Angus said, closing the door behind me. I shook my hair back as Wilt came to hug me.

"It's good to see you again Lola." He smiled over my shoulder.

"You too Wilt."

"Do you insist on calling me that?" He asked sarcastically.

"I do." I smiled, blushing slightly.

"We can do real introductions later. Is your search finished yet Riley?" Matty asked her.

"I haven't found anything on Lola so far."

"What are you performing a background check?" I joked.

"I did that days ago, your parents really took you off the grid after they caught you with Mac." She smirked, as though there was something to be proud of there. Of course considering Angus's talents I had looked him up too, and knew the think tank was a lie. I raised an eyebrow and lifted my hand to my hip. "And-." Before I could get something back at her Angus cut me off.

"Whether you find something or not, we can't be too careful."

"I agree. I'll have agents posted outside her house." Matty nodded.

"No." Angus said harshly. "That isn't good enough. One of us needs to be with her at all times."

"The hell you do." I said, my eyebrow raising again.

"I'll take the first shift, Riley says you got some sweet digs girl." Wilt grinned, stepping towards me.

"My house is lovely but you are not staying there."

"Why not?" Jack asked, his strong brow pulling into a frown as he crossed his arms in suspicion.

"Because it is my home. You just said there isn't a contract out on my life."

"That doesn't mean he won't come for you himself." Angus explained.

"You say that as though I can't take care of my myself."

"Of course you can Lola, that's not what I mean."

"And we don't know there isn't a contract for you."

"You're supposed to be the best, right? They wouldn't have hired you otherwise." There was a short silence in the room, something I would have to look into later.

"Yes, but just because I haven't found a separate contract doesn't mean there isn't a clause in Mac's."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

"The contract is a private sale. One hitman takes it, no one else can make a play for the hit. The file is sealed, I can't read the parameters, how much they're offering, anything."  
"If the contract only goes to one person, can you tell if it's been taken?" Wilt asked.

"There would be some level of basic information about the contract if it was still out there. So I would guess yes, it's been taken."

"Which means someone's coming for you, Mac." Jack explained, as though we needed that extra level of fear.

We talked about contracts and bargaining for hours. It transpired that Angus was not nearly as afraid for his own life as he was mine. He had always been of the more selfless variety, but this was reckless. I found myself glad I was in his life simply because it meant I could keep him safe. I had made the right decision by coming back.


	4. Chapter 4: Beautiful

Chapter 4: Beautiful

It was Wilt's turn to babysit me. It took him less than 3 hours to start on me. "So where did your dad move you after he caught you with Mac?" He said, sitting down on the sofa across from me and raising his eyebrows, as though I owed him this information. "Germany." I said shortly.

"Where?"

"Why?" I retorted, glaring at him.

"Because, look at this. There's four agents circling your house and me on the inside to help."

"I can take care of myself."

"Yeah we know, you have a weird talent for violence." He said, his flat tone mimicking mine. "Mac cares about you Lola, probably too much." For the first time in years I wasn't actually sure what to say. "I know." I came out with. The reply itself however was quiet and withdrawn, which gave Wilt an in.

"I just wanna know that you won't hurt him."

"That's not all you want." I scoffed, shaking my head. "You want to know how I feel about him."

"… Yeah. I do."

"Wilt …" I began. But I wasn't sure how to say this. I couldn't tell him everything. I couldn't tell him most things. So I resigned myself to basics, as were I to tell the whole truth, none of them would ever trust me again. "I care about Angus." I nodded. "I will protect him with my life."

"Good. Cause I think he'd do the same."

"I know." I said, absent again and I thought about what I was doing. How I had uprooted the lives of these people, and how I only saw pathways in which it could get worse.

It has been a week since Riley found the contract on Angus's life, and there is officially no one else to take a shift. I have to see him. I took Riley to my training room this afternoon and showed her some ways to work with a knife safely. It was 4pm when Angus showed up, perfectly on the hour. Riley let him in, and they exchanged glances at me, before looking at the double detail outside. Angus was in more danger than I, and because of this I was glad to have him with me. I meant what I told him in the hospital, whether he had heard me or not. I would keep him safe. We walked through the house in silence, and in passing the kitchen I asked if he wanted a drink. "Uh, water's fine." He said, gesturing towards the fridge. I nodded, bringing him a bottle of Fiji water. "Your place is nice." He said, trying to make small talk.

"Thank you. Tesla pays well." I nodded.

"Yeah, what is it you actually do there?" He laughed lightly, his mood changing a little as he felt we had something to talk about.

"I liaise with the design department. I'm VP of Purchasing, so whatever they want, I find. It's why I don't spend much time in the office, mostly just meetings."

"So you reach out to external companies to find the materials you need?"

"Pretty much, yes."

"How'd you get that job?"

"Well, I started when I was in England. I worked my way up through Purchasing at Jaguar Land Rover, until I was head of their SVO department."

"Special Ops?"  
"Special Vehicle Operations, yes." I nodded as we went out onto the terrace and looked over the valley. "It was mostly private commissions, diplomats and such who wanted luxury armoured vehicles. I was headhunted by Tesla about 5 years ago. As they moved me up the ranks, I tried my best to stay in Europe but they are based in Palo Alto, I couldn't avoid the states with this promotion."

"Were you that afraid to see me?" He joked.

"Yes." I nodded.

"Then why'd you move to Los Angeles rather than Palo Alto?" He laughed.

"Have you seen Palo Alto? I'm not living there. When I have to go in for meetings I take the Tesla plane, but there are more companies here, it actually works out easier."

"So it really had nothing to do with me."

"… I knew you were here, if that's what you're asking."

"Right." He frowned.  
"I looked you up over the years. My father has worked for 'think tanks' in the past. I knew you'd know if I came back, and it would only be a matter of time before we'd see each other. 8 months ago, the job came, and I knew I had to come." That was actually true. Almost proud of myself.

"I'm glad you came." He said, looking up at me from his cautious lean on the glass. "Honestly, I always thought you'd go into politics, like your dad." I couldn't help but laugh at that, and I turned, leaning down to meet his eye. "I knew my father was grooming me for that. The languages, the social engagements, the years of training. But I never wanted that for myself. I saw what politics did to him, what public opinion could do, what investors could do. I didn't want the fate of innocent people resting on my shoulders, as it did his."

"… Your dad didn't work the for the embassy did he?" Angus asked.

"… He worked for the British government." I said, shrugging and standing up straight, going to the round chairs on the other side of the pool. Angus followed me, and sat down on the edge of the ottoman across from me. "He was a little more than an ambassador though." I said, not meeting his eye.

"Did you know? When we were kids?"  
"I think a part of me did. The business trips to exotic places, the secrecy, the training. He had me learn how to blend into 6 different cultures, speak 9 different languages fluently. Don't get me wrong, it has come in extremely handy. That man groomed me for work I didn't understand. I tried to go straight instead, take a real job, hove a real house, make real friends."

"Well, you have Bozer, and me. And it looks like Riley is warming up to you too?" I laughed lightly.

"She grilled me for a while, they all did. Well, actually Matty didn't, she hardly said a word to me."

"She's the stoic type, don't take it personally. It's either that or she just hands you straight sass." He laughed. I couldn't help but laugh with him; it was so genuine and natural. "I think I prefer the stoicism." I grinned. "You know um, High Noon is on TV tonight, if you wanna watch?"

"Seriously? God I haven't seen that in like a million years. I'm in." He smiled.

"Great."

As the weeks passed, Angus and his team began to take missions again. I was allowed to go back to work; everything seemed to go back to normal. For a while it was like there wasn't a threat to Angus's life. It wasn't good enough though. They had their own problems to deal with, but I had time on my hands. I used my own skills with computers, and started my own little project. I wanted to know who put the hit on Angus's life. I wanted to know, because I wanted to kill them.

There was one thing that didn't change however. The team invited me to Wilt and Angus's place. When they would get back from a mission it would be nice to see them. We would sit outside in the heat and have a bonfire, and when it would approach midnight Angus would insist on driving me home. By the time we got there it would be so late that I would convince him to stay. He has taken up regular residence in my guest room. Tonight however, Angus knocked on my door. He walked inside, and smiled at me. "Oh, I'm judging you so hard for watching Family Guy." He snickered. I laughed and patted the other side of the bed.

"You know you want to." I smiled. He exhaled and cross the room, climbing onto the bed beside me. "Don't judge Family Guy, I fall asleep to it, it's calming." I smiled.

"You're a crazy person." He nodded. "… Are you sure this is ok?" He asked after a minute.

"Angus, we're adults. Stop acting like my dad is gonna walk in on us." I joked, my gaze unwavering from the TV screen.

"Right. Sorry." We said nothing more on the subject, but as the episodes passed, Angus and I got more and more tired, until we simply fell asleep there. Together.


	5. Chapter 5: Somebody New

Chapter 5: Somebody New

It has been over a month since they found the contract for Angus's life, and nothing has happened. Even my life is beginning to go back to normal. I went back to work for a full day today, and things really felt fine. I was just going through emails when my colleague Josh walked straight into my office, regardless of if someone else had been in there with me. "You are still doing open mic night with us right?" He asked, flicking the green flier onto my desk and crossing his leg as he flopped into the chair across from me.

"Oh, Joshie I don't know." I frowned.

"Come on. Your voice is perfect; it's just one night, and you helped write this song." He said, as though he needed to list off reasons.

"I know, but after everything that's happened?"

"You mean finding your high school crush again? Girl, just invite him." He smirked with a swish of the hand.

"Not in a million years."

"Spoil sport."

"Child." I retorted. He laughed loudly, and stood. "We're rehearsing tonight. If you don't come, we all lose out."

"You can't find someone else?"

"We haven't rehearsed in like a month and it's this weekend. You think we'll find someone else?"

"… Fine." I huffed, rolling my eyes.

Little did I know rehearsal was at mine tonight. It was all going fine; I remembered the song like the back of my hand. But suddenly we were stopped half way through. "Did anyone else just hear the door?" Calvin asked, leaning on his drums harder than he probably should.

"I'll go check." I nodded. It wasn't fear per-say, but I wasn't excited to answer the door. I didn't think it was an assassin come to kill me or anything, actually my worst fear was that it would be Riley or someone, and they'd find out about this.

Even worse fear realised, it was Angus. "Hi." I said, unable to hide my surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Um, I thought you said you wanted to get take out, after your big day at work?"

"Shit you're right." I frowned. "I completely forgot I'm so sorry."

"That's alright, I uh, we can do another night." He said awkwardly, beginning his descent down the steps. "Wait, um, give me half an hour? Go pick up take out, I just have a couple people over from the office."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, of course." I nodded. We'd been rehearsing for nearly two hours at this point, it just needed to be open mic night ready, it was one song, and we were done. Not that I would tell Angus any of that.

When he came back with food I had managed to get the guys out. Angus set up all the little boxes he'd gotten of different Chinese food on the coffee table, and sat there waiting for me. I brought drinks over to the table, and sat down next to him. There was something about his persona though, he was being far too quiet for my liking. "What is it?" I asked as I dug into my won tons.

"I wanted to ask you a favour."

"Depends on the favour."

"Well, first, tell me how your big day was." He said diplomatically. I started analysing him the moment he started his sentence.

"Honestly?"

"Of course."

"It was long. My feet hurt wearing those stupid shoes for 12 straight hours." He laughed at me. I think the job is mostly out of office, and it's rare I have this many meetings in one day. Most of the work is just signing off on things in my department."

"So you're not gonna be spending all your time in your office."  
"No. I don't feel the need." I shrugged.

"Well, then with that in mind, how would you feel about coming on assignment with me, and the team."

"What?"  
"We have an Intel gathering mission in Zagreb, tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"I know it's short notice, but-."

"I can't be the only person you know that speaks Croatian."

"You're the only person that is fluent and blends into the culture. You know this, you lived there a year."

"When I was 8 years old."

"You still know it though, don't you?" I said nothing, because I wouldn't lie to him about this. There were things I would keep from Angus, take them to my grave. This wasn't worth that. "… I'll go." I said after less than a minute of his desperate gaze on my burning face.

"Yeah?"

"Like I have a choice." I said sarcastically, picking up a box of noodles and chowing down. Angus grinned at the thought though said nothing, aware of what it might change. "Those are my noodles." He said after a long enough pause. I looked down into the box.

"Mine now." I shrugged carrying on.

The next morning I met Angus and his team a private airport. It wasn't common for them to leave the country as far as he'd told me, and this would be a long flight. I took a small suitcase, bringing it on the plane with me. I spent the first half of the flight talking to Jack and Riley, and once it hit about 11pm local time I curled up and slept on Angus's shoulder. He didn't seem to mind. There's a 9-hour time difference between the west coast and Croatia, they of course are ahead of us. Our flight left at 5am, and it's a 13-hour flight. We touched down just after 1am local time, the following day, and went straight to the safe house where we slept.

The following morning we had to get to work, talking to contacts and finding a man named Henrik Darija. He was a local, and not particularly interested in talking to us. We finally racked him down and he agreed to meet us through contacts at a local food stall in the downtown market. Before Henrik showed up Wilt started asking about the food. "What is that? It looks gorgeous." He grinned, reaching over to take one.

"It's Punjena Paprika, stuffed peppers basically. We used to have them as a kid."

"How long did you live here again?" He asked.

"Just a year, but my dad didn't want to enrol me in the English school so I had to learn the language pretty quickly."

"Your dad kinda seems like an ass hole."

"Oh he is." I nodded. "But he tried the only way he knew how, I can't fault him for that." I shrugged, paying for Wilt's food. "Hvala ti." I nodded at the old woman.

"I think I see our mark." Angus said, nodding off to the east end of the market.

"Lets move." Riley said, stepping out towards him.

When we got to the end of the market stall he was a nervous guy. Actually he was terrified, which worried me about what we needed from him.

"Ask him where his boss is." Angus said flatly. I rolled my eyes.

"Bok prijatelju. Mogu li te svati Henrik?"

"Da."

"Henrik, gdje je vaš šef?"

"On je u bijegu. Znao je da dolaziš."

"He says his boss is in hiding." I frowned, glancing at Angus, who frowned back at me. "Što on misli želimo?" I asked.

"Da ga ubiju." He frowned. I huffed.

"His boss thinks we're here to kill him." I said flatly.

"What?" Angus interjected. "No, we're here to put him in witness protection if he gives up The Red Doctor. Tell him that." He ordered me. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Please?" I nodded.

"Me ne želimo da ga ubiju. Mi smo bili poslani od strane američke vlade kako bi saznali što on zna o Crvenog Doktora. On bi dobili imunitet I zaštitu u zamjenu."

"On je previše strah."

"Molim. Možemo vam promoći."

"Ali ja sam samo niska sluga." He said sadly.

"Ti su od ključne važnosti za naš rad, te trebamo."

"… Mogu te odvesti do njega."

"Hvala ti." I nodded. "He's going to take us to his boss. Now." I said as Henrik walked away.

We were taken to a seedy old building a few blocks away. Henrik's boss was Ana Renik. None of us expected a woman, just like you. She was interested in helping us, and getting her safe passage to the US. She had a memory stick with everything she'd downloaded from The Red Doctor's computer. She knew what they were doing was wrong, and she made that change. "She says she'll give us the flash drive once we're away from the country." I said, looking at Angus.

"That's fine. We can get you out of the country. We have a plane. We can go now."

"Možemo vam izaći iz zemlje. Imamo avoin. Možemo-." Before I could finish a phone rang, and it seemed as though even the breathing in the room stopped. Ana pulled out her phone, and it was a red screen. "To je on."

"It's him." I translated.

"You don't have to answer." Jack said sternly.

"Ne morate odgovoriti." I said to her.

"That doesn't matter now, the GPS will mean he knows where we are."

"Sounds like we want out of here, now." Jack frowned.

"It's at least a 2 hour drive to the airfield." Riley said, tapping away at her laptop cradled on her arm. Jack when to break a corner of the only window, and noticed cars pulling up outside. "We got company." He yelled unnecessarily at us.

"We can make it." Angus said, running around the room. "Riley, find us a way out of here." He began picking up old cans and the unused cleaning fluid in this destitute room we were hiding in. I don't know what he was making, and honestly I didn't ask. At Ana's worried expression, it occurred to me that she could flip as fast as she had the first time, so I tried to calm her nerves. "Mi ćemo vas odavde."

"Hvala ti." She nodded at me, though still afraid, not that I could blame her.

"Got it, there's a fire stairwell on the other side of the building, the alley back there won't fit any vehicles, but we're on foot." She shrugged.

"Perfect. Lead the way." Angus said, dropping his bomb out the window and running after us out of the room.

We turned corridor after corridor, and found the stairs Riley had spoken about. We were 6 floors up, and all seemed well until we got to a genuinely degraded part of the stairs. Jack's leg fell right through, and pulling him out slowed us down. He had a few serious cuts, but nothing he couldn't move on. The problem was the Croatian guns for hire that couldn't have been more than 2 floors above us. "Mac, now would be a good time to have one of your ideas." Jack said, shooting up the stairs at the men following us. "It's a wooden staircase and there's hardly any left, anything I do we'd probably all go down!" Angus yelled back as we ran. When we got to the bottom the door was slightly askew, and as the first there, Ana took it upon herself to kick it open. The door however, wasn't having any of it, and splintered in the process. Her leg didn't take the impact or the splinters well, leaving her unable to run. Jack and Angus got under each of her arms and tried to help her, but there was no way we were making it far. We made it through a single city block before we had to stop, and ended up hiding out in the basement of a Thai restaurant that had left their door open.

In the hours that passed Riley managed to steal a first aid kit from the restaurant's kitchen, which gave us just enough supplies to bandage up Jack's cuts while Angus made a splint for Ana. I sat beside her as he patched up her leg, and by the way she was moving it appeared that her fibula was broken. "Od svih načina da se ozlijediti, barem si to učinioza sebe." I joked. She tried to smile back at me.

"Translation please?" Angus asked as he wrapped her leg in gauze.

"I said of all the ways to get hurt, at least she did it to herself." I smiled at him. He looked up at me as he taped the gauze over.

"That should hold her over for now. Can you tell her to stay off it?" I nodded as he sat down beside me.

"Moraš ostati s nogu. Ne možete staviti težinu na njega." She simply nodded, and I looked over to Angus. "Will she heal?"

"Probably. If we make it out of here."

"We will." I nodded.

"You glad you came?" He laughed. "Intel gathering kinda failed."

"I'm glad I came. Honestly, now I know this is what you do, it almost makes me worry about you."

"Are those feelings I see?" He laughed at me.

"Never." I smirked.

Again I awoke on Angus's shoulder, but this time there was more urgency. We were sweaty and dirty in the basement heat, and I couldn't hear a thing outside. When I went to peer out the window I noticed that the sun hadn't risen yet, and there didn't seem to be a person in sight. I went back over to Angus and woke him slowly. "Time to go." I said softly. He nodded in a daze, before getting up and waking Riley as I woke Ana. Jack and I helped her this time, and we stole a car, driving it to the airfield as light seeped back into the world. We made it on the plane hours late, but Matty kept it there for us. I don't know about the others, but I couldn't be bothered to keep a sleep schedule anymore, and I fell straight back into the abyss.

When we landed Ana was taken to a secure location, and we were all debriefed on the files. "The Red Doctor, aka Terrence Wexler, is a highly regarded surgeon who didn't think he was making enough money, and found he could make more being a doctor to the stars of the criminal underworld." Matty said flatly. "Because of the work you guys did, we have his entire network, and everyone he has ever worked on. Unfortunately we can only arrest him for performing illegal medical procedures, and hope he flips on things he's seen and heard."

"We can't arrest the criminals?" I frowned, though of course I knew her answer.  
"For getting surgery? No." Matty said sarcastically. When all was said and debriefed, Riley and Jack took me home while Angus stayed to talk to Matty. At least I thought they were taking me home.

As it happened, we didn't end up at home. They pulled up outside the bar having the open mic night, and I looked over to Riley staring at me from the front seat. "I didn't know you knew."

"Of course we knew." She smiled. "It's me."

"And you can't miss out on a good night like this." Jack grinned. "Come on."

"You guys are coming in?"

"Oh yeah, we gotta see this." Riley smirked as I came round the car and we all went inside.

I met with the other members of the group, and we all had a few drinks together before we went on. I couldn't tell if I was glad or upset that Angus wasn't there to witness this. Once the song was more than half over I began looking around the room, trying to gage the audience reactions. There he was. Angus MacGyver, leaning against the bar sipping a beer as he smiled at me effortlessly. When we got off stage I made a b-line for him, slipping between kind words and awkward stares. "You knew too." I smiled.

"Of course. Have you met Riley?" We both laughed.

"Yes. She said something much to the same effect. How come you didn't just come with us? Is everything ok with Matty?"  
"Yeah, yeah everything's fine. I spoke to her about you." He said as we made out way over to Jack, Wilt and Riley's table.

"Me?"

"Yeah. About how important you were on this assignment. About how much of an asset you can be."

"Why?"  
"Because, I was hoping she would offer you a place on this team."

"What?"  
"We could really use you, and you don't have much else to do."

"Angus."

"Look, I know it's a lot to think about, but, the job's yours if you want it." He smiled.

"The rest of the team cheered and pulled party poppers in my direction. I rolled my eyes. "Of course, that does mean training, with me." Jack grinned.

"And me." Riley smirked.

"And me." Angus said, though the look in his eye was entirely more seductive.

"Great." I laughed, and said nothing more on the topic.


	6. Chapter 6: Come With Me Now

Chapter 6: Come With Me Now

Today I start my first morning in agent training at the Phoenix Foundation. Jack had me first, and took me into a concrete basement that smelt like gunpowder and blood. "What are we doing down here?" I asked.

"I'm your weapons training little lady." He smiled at me.

"Weapons training?" I questioned. My dad took me to the gun range as a child, pretty much bringing me up in anything that would let me defend myself. He walked me up to a desk with rows and rows of guns, both large and small, all different shapes and colours. "Now, I know you got a thing for knives, that's not at all creepy, but what do you know about guns?"

"My dad taught me how to use the ones he kept in the house, mostly so I wouldn't hurt myself."

"Your daddy's a smart man. Now, pick a gun." I looked through the options, and found one that … appealed. I picked it up carefully, and handed it to Jack. "Nice choice. Sig Sauer 516 16 inch Patrol Rifle. Perfect for infiltration. So, you wanna try it?"

"Sure." He showed me how to load the gun, and I walked over to the thin plasterboard walls facing manikins at the other end of the room. "Point and shoot, lets see what you got." I took a deep breath in before looking through the scope. I could see the target centre, and exhaled with slow control and precision before firing. Jack stared at me with a frown before halting the rest of the shooters and walking down the line. "That's a perfect head shot!" He yelled back at me, to which of course I simply smiled.

That same afternoon I had done enough shooting, and had been scheduled in with Riley. She was going to teach me hacking, and though I hadn't spent much time on it before, I picked it up pretty quickly. She taught me about different 'bit' encryptions and how to surpass different kinds of firewalls, the differences between different servers, and how to spot hacker traps put there to let you think you're into their files when actually their downloading yours. Or something to that effect. "You sure you haven't had any training in this?" She asked me with an eyebrow raised.

"Never. There were coding classes on Friday afternoons at my university, I went to a few of those, it was fun." I shrugged. "But I never really understood it, I was more of a social person. Behaviour over maths."

"Right. So how did you and Mac happen?"

"And that has what to do with hacking?" I smirked, not looking up from my computer screen.

"Nothing. But I hack computers right?"

"Right."

"When Mac and I met, he told me that he hacks everything else… Then he pulled open my cuffs like it was nothing." She smiled.

"… You think I hack people."

"You can tell what I'm thinking, that's not exactly disproving my point."

"I wasn't trying to disprove your point, you're quite accurate. I have spent my young life figuring out how to get into people's heads."

"Why?"

"Because I'd rather be in theirs than my own."

"That's kinda dark don't you think?"

"It's a dark place up here." I shrugged, now honestly unable to look up from my computer screen. "And Mac, you gonna let him visit your dark place?"

"Would you let anyone into yours?" I asked, finally getting into her space. She stared back at me for a minute. "Maybe." I analysed her face for a minute.

"Not someone you loved." I scoffed.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you protect the people you love, and god forbid they found out what you really were and left you for it."

"So you think Mac's gonna leave you because of the dark thoughts you have in your head?"

"… Something like that." Thoughts. Sure.

The next day I had time with their chief hand-to-hand combat trainer, Marcus Jade. He was as intimidating as his name, his physical stature imposing before he even entered the room. The room next to the shoot range, also with grey depressing concrete walls, thick leather mats and a general aroma of sweat and sadness … and maybe a little blood. "Weapons off." He said, stepping inside the door, followed by 6 of his officers. "I keep these on me at all times." I frowned, looking over to the two-way mirror on the far wall. "What if you're in a hostage situation, you've had to throw them away for some reason, someone has disarmed you. There is no way of knowing what is going to happen, and you can't rely on them." He said sternly, crossing his arms as his officers circled me. I frowned, huffed, and relinquished my knives. "The rest too." I heard Angus say over coms. It wasn't a comfort to know he was watching. I glared at the mirror before removing the small daggers in my sleeves, the two against my left ribs, and the one in my right ankle boot. I tossed them across the floor, clenching my fists.

The first to come at me was a man from behind. He grabbed round my shoulders, pinching my arms against my chest in his grip. I dropped my weight, holding his forearms around my chest and twisting my knee in, leaning the same shoulder in. Dropping my weight offsets his balance with how much he has to hold me up, and twisting my knee in helps me bring myself forward more. I held his grip so he couldn't let go once he realised what I was doing, and he went straight over me, lending on his back. I stomped on his shoulder, though it easily could've been his face. Before I had a moment to breathe another ran at me, and I had to duck. Who ducks? I kicked back as he passed me, getting his ribs hard. He tumbled to the ground and another made a pass. You understand the point. I'm well trainer.

Finally Mr Jade had finished berating his men, and turned to me. "Lets go." He growled. I punched and punched at his core but it did nothing to him, and he took my throat. I didn't like that. That was a sore spot for me, something I suppose Riley would categorise into my dark place. I just saw red. I didn't realise that was actually a thing people felt until this. I grabbed his forearms, climbing my feet up his body and twisting my legs through the small hole between his arms. If he were going to choke me, I would do the same. I wrapped one leg round his neck, the other outside his arms, kicking him in the head. With the last of my breath and exhaled and twisted down, forcing him beneath me on the mat. I elbowed the bend in his arms until he let me free and rolled away. But like I said, red. I landed on all fours and turned back to him. I vaguely heard someone come in but didn't register it. I launched myself forward, and was only stopped by an arm wrapping around my waist, knocking me to the floor with him. He sat over me and held my forearms down as I caught my breath and came back to reality. "Lola!" I heard him scream.

"Angus." I breathed. I blinked hard, my throat still soar. I knocked my head back against the floor. "Too far?" I asked quietly. Angus let my wrists go and we looked over to Mr Jade. "No. Exactly right." He smirked. "Don't give up until your attacked can't fight back. You were taught just right." He said, reaching a hand down to help me up. I took a second as Angus got off me, before reaching up for his hand. "Thank you." I nodded.

"Thank you. I never knew I had those weak spots." He laughed.

Next was my last initiation test, and it was going to be by far my more trying. Matty. I would maintain training when not at work or on assignment with the team of course, but these were … evaluations, basic training. I was sat in a crystal white room with a freezing metal desk and two cold metal chairs either side. I was sat at one, though not locked up at all. Director Webber walked in alone, a file in her hand. "This is a psychological evaluation. You should tell me the truth to the best of your ability, and believe me, I know whether you're telling the truth." She said, sitting on the chair across from me. I nodded. "Anything you tell me will inform my decision about your addition tot his team as well as the things you do tell me. Do you understand?" I nodded again. "I need verbal consent."

"… My name is Lola Louise Williams and I fully understand this line of questioning, and give consent."

"Thank you."

"Where were you born?"

"Zermatt, Switzerland."

"How long did you live there?"

"I didn't. My parents were on holiday, I was early. We went back to England 6 days later, when I settled into my home in Chelsea, London."

"Where did you go to school?"

"That's a long list."

"I'd like to hear it."

"Cheltenham Ladies Primary School in England, YK Pao Primary School in Shanghai, Osnovna škola Augusta Šenoe in Zagreb, Uvekind Sofia in Bulgaria, I was then home schooled for 16 months while we lived in Phnom Penh, then Mission City High School, then Elly-Heuss-Schule in Wiesbaden, then HEC Paris to finish high school. I then chose to go back to England to do my degree and masters in Behavioural Psychology."

"What are your feelings towards agent Angus MacGyver?"

"… I love him." I said with strength. I maintained a clam and rational tone, and spoke honestly. Her eyebrows raised slightly, but she maintained her composure well.

"Do you think that will effect your ability to work with him?"

"I would protect him with my life. As I would with anyone else on that team."

"Will your judgement of assignment priority be compromised by your pre-existing relationship with agent MacGyver?"

"No."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because as in credible as one individual may be, there are other individuals."

"Why, really?"

"Because he would never forgive me if I put him before innocents."

"… Ok."


	7. Chapter 7: Radar

Chapter 7: Radar

We were called into the Phoenix Foundation today for a briefing from Matty. "Good morning, so glad you could join us." She said, glaring at me as I stepped into the room last. I said nothing, it seemed like the safest option. "Now that we're all here. About 2 hours ago one of our satellites mysteriously dropped from orbit. We don't know if it was intentional or just some malfunction, but it dropped in the Tazmenistanian desert."

"So you want us to what Matty? Send it back up into orbit?" Jack asked sincerely.

"Exactly how would you plan on doing that from the middle of the desert Jack?"

"… Well, I don't know I'm sure Mac could-."

"Actually I could, if there's-."

"Not important! Before they know its dropped we need to retrieve the data chip."

"It's chipped?"

"With some of the most important transmitted code in the past 20 years."

"So you want us to get the chip, but not get rid of the wreckage?" Jack asked.

"Now you're getting it. So Riley will run point with me from here, Mac and Jack will fly out in 40 minutes."

"They can't fly out, Tazmenistani air space is covered they'll notice if a jet just hits them." Riley said sarcastically.

"And they're going to be caught on their radar." Matty smirked.

"What?" Mac asked, one eyebrow bouncing on his bronzed forehead.

"You are gonna let them see you on their screens, you aren't gonna respond to their screens, and you are going to let them fire at you."

"… You want them to think we're dead, so they won't search for us."

"And exactly how are we gonna not be dead?" Jack asked with scepticism.

"You're going to eject at the last minute." I interjected.

"Exactly." Matty said, though she didn't appear interested in elaborating. "Speaking of which, Lola. You speak the language; I want you on the ground in Tazmenistan. You're going to be back up and exfil when the chip is in our hands."

One military cargo plane ride later and I have touched down in Tazmenistan. The sun is scorching hot but I am four hours behind Jack and Angus and hadn't had any contact with them. I borrowed a Jeep from the base and set out towards their satellite location, finally getting up and running with Riley. "There's been a slight change of plan." Was her opening to our conversation.

"What happened?" I asked flatly.

"Well, when the boys got to the site it had already been ravaged, and they followed the trail back to a black site."

"Origin?"

"Russian."

"Fantastic." I said flatly.

"There's more."

"Fantastic." I repeated, this time feigning enthusiasm.

"Mac hopped onto the back of one of their convoys and followed them inside. After that he went dark."

"… They have him?" I asked. I'm sure if anyone had seen me in that moment they might have actually seen the light leave my eyes. The longer silence only made it worse. Riley did not want to give me an answer.

"We don't know. But you need to pick up Jack and go get him." Matty said loudly, commanding me. "Ok." I said, trying to sound … solid.

I found Jack about 15 klicks across the dunes, and he directed me towards the black site. Coms were off, and we didn't say a word for the majority of the journey. "You don't need to be worried about Mac you know, the kid can take care of himself."

"Then why did they hire you?" I asked, a little too much tone in my question.

"Because the idiot won't use guns."

"Do you even know why he won't use guns?" I asked, exasperated that he would throw about the knowledge so freely. "He told me his friend got hurt by a gun when he was a kid."

"… When Angus was 12, he took his dad's old shotgun out to show his friends. Neil tried to shoot at a bird, but Angus just didn't want the bird to get hurt. So he knocked the gun away, but Neil dropped it, and when it hit the ground it discharged. His friend Jesse was shot in the chest, and Angus still blames himself."

"… I didn't know that." Jack admitted quietly as we slowed, reaching the black site. "It doesn't matter. Just, angus is the most rational person in the world, if he swears of something it's for a reason."

"You don't think I know that?"  
"I know you do. I just don't think he would defeat his morals for it."

"Ok." He nodded.

We found a back door in, and turned our coms back on so Riley could give us more information about Angus's location. "It looks like he's high up, maybe 4th or 5th floor, centre of the building."

"You check 4th I check 5th?" Jack asked as we cocked our guns at different corners of the stairs.

"Copy." I said, veering off towards the door on my right. Jack went up another level, and I was left to fend for myself. I made my way from our south staircase rendezvous point. "Lola careful, I see two bogeys coming your way." Riley warned me. I ducked into a room near when I needed to be, the first I found that wasn't locked. I closed the door quietly, and found a table inside. On the table, were what looked like the parts to the satellite, but hard as I tried I couldn't find the chip anywhere.

"Green, definitely green." Riley said as I searched further.

"It's not here."

"Guys, I think I have the chip." Jack said, suddenly coming back online. "Little green thing, plugs into a little deck?"  
"That's the one. Where is it?" Riley asked.

"Plugged into a little deck. That's plugged into a computer."

"That isn't good. You need to get that chip now Jack. Like right now."

"On it." I stepped away from the table, but before I could head out of the room I heard a disdainful groan. I looked around, but this room was definitely empty. There was a dark door in the far corner, and I couldn't believe I was that lucky. I went to it, picking the lock and letting the door fall skew under it's own weight. There he was. Angus, who had taken a serious deck to the mouth, but sat in the centre of the room bound none on the less. "Pochemu ty zdes'?"

"Ya ne govoryu po-russki." Liar. He does speak Russian, though I suppose that's a far easier response than lying about why he's there. I pulled my knives from the harness, and burst in, throwing one straight into a man's throat. One down, now just the interviewer to go. "Mozhet byt', ya smogu perecesti."

"Suka." He growled at me. It didn't take a moment to charge at the man as he charged at me, slicing at his neck in a single blow. He turned back to me for another round but dropped to his knees before he got the chance, groping at the blood gushing from his carotid artery. I used the same knife to wipe the blood off on Angus's rope ties as I cut him free. He immediately reached for his jaw as I bent down in front of him to release his ankles. "Maybe I can translate? Seriously?" He laughed. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I've always wanted a one liner." I smirked. "Come on, time to go." I said, looking into his eyes. Without even thinking about it, I reached for his cheek and pecked his lips. It was some sort of positive reinforcement that I didn't even mean to do, a single fleeting peck that changed everything. I stood up before either of us could register what I'd done, and just like that we acted as though it hadn't happened at all.

Jack met us on the stairwell as the Russians chased us out of the building. The chase was long and dangerous, but we weren't seriously hurt. Angus built a bomb from sucking some gas from the tank, a spare army t-shirt, and emptying some loose shotgun shells into an old can, Jack slowing the car enough for him to hit the dune to our left. It was a particularly high dune, and caused a miniature avalanche of sand to hit their cars and obscure us from view.

We made it back in our usual three pieces, chip in hand. "You guys did well today. Literally all in a day's work." Matty smiled at us. "Thanks to you guys the chip is back in our hands, though we're gonna keep it safe here. We don't need actual government officials getting their hands on information like this." Jack and Angus exchanged looks. "You guys go home, have a few days of rest. You've earned it after everything that's happened." Matty said, and I could almost see a smile at the corner of her mouth. We all began to filter out of the room. "Oh and by the way you two, personal moments on your own dime next time." She said, her eyes flicking between Angus and I. I blushed uncontrollably and left the room first.

"What was the that about?" Riley asked.

"Matty or Lola?" Angus asked.

"Both."

"… Beats me." He said, and I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my back as I disappeared down the hall.

* * *

Hi readers!

I know there aren't many of you but actually was amazed by 100 views, let alone 300. So I'll start by saying thank you for bothering.

Quick things,

1\. I have taken the information I have from episodes of the original Macgyver (1985) and moulded it to fit the characters, so I hope you like.

2\. I have not been posting daily because I am actually a little hazy about what I want to put in these middle chapters. So they will come frequently but not as frequently as the first few.

3\. If anybody is bothered to leave a comment please make it constructive or kind? Or both? I would love to hear feedback as this is my first fanfiction, but I have no place for hate.

Thank you, really.

Carynthian.


	8. Chapter 8: Love Me Now

Chapter 8: Love Me Now

I had a day at the regular office today, mostly just answering emails. I ended up enjoying my time at the Phoenix Foundation so much I had half a mind to quit, but I have worked far too hard for far too long to give it up just because I want to spend time with Angus. I took the plunge today when I was at the store, I went after work, and called him in the hopes that he would come over.

"Lola?" He answered.

"Hey, how was your day?"

"Amazing! You will never guess what Boze made in the lab today." He laughed.

"Hum, prosthetic … Lightsaber?"

"As awesome as that would be, he'd need at least some knowledge of lasers."

"Right, of course. Well, maybe you guys can work on that together." I smiled as he laughed.

"We'll have to, you've put it in my head now."

"What did he really make?"

"Boze is great at faces right?"

"Right."

"He made me."

"You're kidding!" I grinned.

"It's actually really good. Jack put it on and scared the hell out of me today."

"I can only imagine how that went." I joked.

"It was pretty awesome. Anyway sorry, you didn't call to hear about my day. How was your day?" He asked, suddenly sounding awkward, as though he left he'd done something wrong.

"Oh it was fine, boring office stuff."

"Of course. So why did you call?" He asked hesitantly.

"I wondered if you wanted to come over tonight, for dinner."

"Oh, oh yeah, sure, definitely. Um, should I bring anything?"

"No that's ok I'm at the store now. I'll um, I'll see you at … 8?"

"Ok great, see you then." I think I could hear a smile in his voice, like he couldn't get his words out right because the corners of his mouth were so stretched. "Ok."

"Yeah, ok." We repeated variations on this for a minute or so, before I finally had to checkout and hung up.

Angus came over and I made vegan stuffed bell peppers. Angus was vegetarian when I knew him the first time, I guess it was something I had with him. We went out back and dipped our feet in the pool as we watched the city. "Did you ever manage it?" I asked.

"What?"

"Going vegan?"

"Tonight I did." He joked. "No, unfortunately. It's surprisingly difficult to completely remove animal products from your diet."

"Oh I know. England is even worse, though the abundance of hipsters did not deplete country to country." I laughed.

"… I'm sorry you had to move so much."

"You don't blame yourself for my leaving do you?"

"Well it was kinda my fault."

"No, it wasn't."

"Oh you would've moved if your dad hadn't caught us?"

"I moved every other summer, I would've been gone in a few months anyway."

"I wanted those months." He said, though I'm not really sure he meant to say it out loud.

"Me too." I said, staring intently into the water.

"I'm really glad you're back now." He said, his tone gaining strength and confidence.

"What's that?"

"Because I got to say sorry. Because I got to see how incredible you became." I scoffed at that. "I'm serious. Lola, you will always be my first date, my first kiss, my first…"

"… Mine too." I said, blushing.

"I haven't had the best luck with relationships, Lola. Seems like every girl I've had a chance with always had to lave. This isn't going any better, but I'm glad that I could see you again, and keep you safe."

"OH! _You're_ keeping _me_ safe." I laughed. "I'd say more often than not, I'm keeping you safe. Tazmenistan was a prime example." I grinned.

"Ok, ok. True." He smiled, looking over at me. We stared at each other for a while, and it occurred to me for the first time that there genuinely might be something there. Something still there. "What are you thinking?" I asked, trying to break the silence.

"… You'd hit me if I told you." He said, one eyebrow raising for a moment on his forehead. He pulled away from our surprisingly close faces and looking into the water glistering against our skin. I took a deep breath as quietly as I could, and slowed my eyes slowly before taking the leap and reaching for his chin. He looked at me surprised as my hand slid along his taut jaw. I leaned in, and suddenly his soft lips met mine. Angus curled his lips around my bottom one with force, his hand soon reaching onto the outstretched side of my neck. He just kissed like this. For a while. It was the first time I felt completely … serene. The entire world could've gone up in flames and it would have meant nothing to me, because I had him.

This did not last forever. I suppose everybody runs out of oxygen eventually. "Uh, wow." He breathed deeply, a slightly smile creeping across his face.

"I'm sorry, should I not have done that?" I asked.

"No!" He said suddenly, rearing back. "I mean, it was …" He said nothing more, but met my eye instead. I couldn't help but watch the lights of the pool reflect in his eyes, my mind swimming in their glowing blue. It was broken by a message on his phone. "I'm sorry." He said, looking down at the screen. "It's Matty, new case. Briefing room in 8 hours."

"Right… So I guess you should probably get going." I nodded.

"Oh uh, yeah, sure." We both sat there for a moment, but I knew someone had to move. I got up and reached a hand out to him, and he took it. I walked slightly ahead of Angus as we headed back into the house, going through the kitchen door and back through the house. Angus moved round me and walked ahead, and I took the moment without his eyes to grin to myself and blush brightly. "Oh hey, you forgot your keys!" I said, jogging over to the kitchen counter. He joined me, and we reached to pick them up at the same moment. Here it was, the moment of truth. I reached for his neck, pulling myself against him and clasping my lips around his. He let go of his keys, the slight klink of them hitting the counter again negligible against his hands gripping my waist ferociously. One moved up suddenly, my hair almost getting in the way as his hand slipped up my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair and his thumb pressing into my cheek. "Or, you know, you could stay." I breathed, pulling away from him, though still gripping a fist full of his shirt at his waist.

"Yeah." He breathed back.

I was first to briefing today, and very proud of myself. I sat on the sofa at the back, smiling to myself about the things Angus had said ... and done, last night. But when I woke up this morning he was gone, so I got dressed and left as though nothing had happened. It was when he arrived that the truth was really said, and Angus had brought me coffee. "Hey." He said, that little half smile he does pulling against his cheek.

"Hi." I smiled. He sat in his seat, in front of the sofa, but sat straight, facing the group, and often looking back at me. It was like he was making sure I was real. With his behaviour I was on cloud nine, and found myself doing the same.

"Alright you two that's enough. Tomorrow night at 5pm local time, there is going to be a dinner at General Azula's Italian retreat, and you are invited." Matty said, a smile even in her voice. "Mac and Lola will go in under cover as Xiomara and Alexander Bianchi. And you're going for this." She said, turning to the screen. "This is the Bazmanian diamond, and it does not belong to the General. You will have the duration of the dinner party to slip in and get the diamond. Got it?"

"Got it." Angus said, uncontrollably grinning at me.

"Good. Jack will be exfil, Riley you're gonna be on the ground nearby for help with security." They both nodded.

And there we go, my first big mission. I'm not exfil or helping out, I'm Angus's equal. I admit it probably has something to do with the both of us being fluent in Italian, but I'll take it. We had one hour to gather our things and get on the jet, so I went home quickly to pick up a dress and my make up. My bag was packed and I was ready to head to the craft hanger when the alarms went off. Every alarm in my house suddenly went insane, and I was scared. It's different now. I wasn't afraid for my life before this, but after Angus? I dropped my bag and grabbed my ring daggers from the side of the sofa, but it wasn't fast enough. I didn't see anyone. I have been trained to notice these things and I missed it all. Before I knew it I was masked and unconscious, I don't remember anything after that.


	9. Chapter 9: Brave

Chapter 9: Brave

My head hung low and heavy as I tried to gather my thoughts. I couldn't gage anything about my surroundings, not where I was. I couldn't even sense it. Not the way the room smelt, but I knew I was in a room. The longer I was awake the more I understood. I was definitely inside, it was cold, but I was sweating. Then there it was, this shooting pain through both my arms. I wondered for a moment if something awful had been done to them, but they were still there, and being able to feel them was a good thing. I could feel them … by my head actually. Crushing in on my neck when I tried to raise it. I was hanging. That's how I knew it was a room, because there was a ceiling and I was hanging from it.

"You're awake, that's good. I was wondering when I'd get to finally meet you." I lifted my head suddenly to see the man standing below me.

"Who are you?"  
"I'm hurt that you haven't heard of me." His eyes were large and deep set in his face, his mouth small and thin, ugly. He had the sort of face that was forgettable, and yet somehow haunting just by the darkness in his eyes. "Why are you doing this?"

"Oh there are a few reasons. At first, it was just because you're MacGyver's girlfriend. Or, better to say, you're his weakness. His biggest weakness."

"You think Angus should've told me about you?"

"I'm sure he just doesn't want you to have nightmares. What's funny is that I know you wouldn't."

"What are you talking about?" Suddenly he was right in front of me, running his hand up my ribs.

"I'm talking about you. You and I are the same."

"What?" I breathed, my arms really starting to ache.

"I know what you are, I know why you came back to this country, and I can't wait to tell him everything." He grinned, pulling out a phone and calling someone. "MacGyver! Have you missed me?" He grinned.

"Where is she?" It was a video call, but I could only see the man's face, the face that would undoubtedly haunt my dreams. I could hear his voice though, the light in the dark at this horrible moment. Looking for me. "She who?" He asked innocently.

"You know exactly who I'm talking about Murdoc! Where is Lola?" He was yelling now. Angus's feelings clouding his judgement entirely. It occurred to me that catching this man, Murdoc, was the only thing on his mind. His genius level IQ doing nothing for him.

"Oh! Right. You mean her?" He asked, twirling round to show me hung up behind him the camera.

"Dark walls, dripping ceiling, stairs going up, cold, stone building-." That was as much as I got out before a very serious gut punch. I cried out uncontrollably, my head hanging again as it felt like this hellhole was spinning. I swung slightly at the punch, and my lack of control over my own body only made my blood boil. "Don't touch her!" Angus yelled.

"Oh MacGyver! Always the hero. I'll cut to the chase, as fun as this may be. I'm going to send your curly friend a file, it's a dossier of your target."

"My what?" He asked, his tone low and rough.

"Your target. See, since I've been out of prison I've been having a lot of fun, but there are some targets that even I don't have access too. This diplomatically protected young man for example. And it occurred to me, what fun it would be to contact my old friend MacGyver and get him to lend a hand." His tone was joyful, bordering on gleeful, and unsurprisingly it made everyone within earshot sick. "It's simple really, you kill him, and send me proof of death, and I will … not kill your girlfriend."

"You'll give her back to me you son of a bitch!"

"Not with that tone I won't!" He chuckled. "You have … 23 hours and 54 minutes. Start the countdown MacGyver." He grinned, twirling around again. "Oh, and don't worry about your girlfriend, she'll have lots of fun here with me." He grinned, his stare turning to me as his thin pale lips pulled back against his teeth.

"My dear, you are quite lovely." Murdoc said, the tip of my stolen knife tracing my bare stomach.

"Unchain me, see how lovely I am then." I spat, glaring at him with all the fight I had in me. I'll hand it to the man; he's good at what he does. Even I, with extensive training in abduction situations, was not getting out of this situation. My chains had been digging into my wrists and hands for hours now, and I was starting to lose feeling. "Hmm, no thanks. But I will get you something to drink. I know it can't be easy being a prisoner, given your … talents." He smirked. He took a moment to leave the room, the warmth coming back to my stomach as the cold silver departed. I took the last of my energy and gripped my shackles, wrapping the chains around my wrists an extra time with a bounce, and then curling my body up. I hooked my legs over the large metal beam currently supporting my weight, and felt the blood rush to my head. More importantly for those fleeting moments, the blood rushed to my hands. The weight had been relieved and I could feel them again. With my ankles and knees both bound with rope, there was little hope of getting out of here. It made me think Murdoc genuinely did know about me, my training, the life I've lived. My paranoid brain assumed he knew I had learnt how to strangle a man with my thighs, and thought it best to be cautious. My rational brain knew he was nothing if not calculating and thorough. "An interesting choice mademoiselle." He said, coming back into the room. He didn't try to pull me down, or beat my exposed back until I came down voluntarily. He merely came round to face me, and presented a straw hanging from a bottle of water. Sceptically, I took it, drinking. It felt like a million years since I had quenched my thirst, and suddenly found myself wondering how long I had been here. "How long?" I asked flatly.

"I would've thought by now you'd be taking a much kinder tone. Saying thank you, begging me to take you down. None of the above coming to mind?"

"Eat me you piece of shit." I said, rolling my eyes. "How long?"

"Hmm, 5 hours, give or take. Why? Are you worried MacGyver won't deliver?" I remained silent, glaring at him, but for some reason, he knew the honest answer. "Or are you worried he will?" He asked. At my further silence he grinned. "Oh that's brilliant! Two martyrs. You don't even want him to come for you, because it would mean he's taken a life."

"He won't kill him." I spat.

"Oh yes he will. I think he might even consider not doing it if your life were at stake. But it's not. I'm not going to kill you, Miss Williams. I'm going to keep you, and that is far more terrifying for our mutual friend."

Murdoc has been sitting with me for hours, telling me his little stories. He was proud of his kills, his hit list. "And that's when I just shot it, right where he stood. I'm sure his children will be fine." He smirked, still playing with my knives. I rolled my eyes again, breaking my silence in sheer agony. I unhooked my legs for the second time in this last hour (I think), and curled back down in front of him. "Could you stop doing that? The more you play with them the more of them I will have to burn." My tone was sour and coarse, but he liked this. If I responded it meant he could play with me.

"Then I'll be sure to eat a meal with each and every one. Pretty sure you can afford it."

"As can you, maybe I'll get you to buy me new ones."

"Maybe I will. I think I'd enjoy that."

"Paying for knives?"

"You joining me."

"You're delusional."

"Am I? Tell me you've never killed? Tell me there isn't a rush?"

"The rush is from protecting people."

"Who says I don't protect people?"

"Each and every one of your employers." I said flatly. "I'm sure your references are quite colourful."

"As are yours." He smirked.

It must be coming up to the deadline now. Less than an hour I would assume, but it isn't easy keeping time in a room like this. "Your boyfriend doesn't look like he's going to make that deadline." Murdoc grinned.

"Because he would never take an innocent life."

"Who said anything about innocent? I said diplomatically protected, and those are two very different things." He said, using the last of my ring daggers to carve his steak. I glared.

"I am going to enjoy using those to gut you." I said, my composure entirely shot.

"Oh! There it is! So close to the deadline the truth comes out."

"I don't like you, it's not much of a secret."

"No, but your true nature? That's something you've been hiding. From MacGyver too I'm sure." He stood up from his chair, hurling his heels together and bowing to me cordially. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you." He said, a big smirk on his face. I hung my head back and then squished it forwards between my arms again, laughing at him. "Oh my God. This is what you call psychological torture? I would rather you just hit me." I said, glaring at him with a slight smirk, mirroring his.

"Not my style little lady, you know that." He said, putting on a southern accent.

"What a shame. At least it wouldn't be boring."

"Well, you're welcome to try."

"Am I? Oh well then." I smirked. "Let's see." I said, looking him up and down. "Somewhat small man, as plain as they come, though I suppose that helps in your line of work." He scoffed at that. "You know that Angus is my compromise."

"I do."

"That I would do anything to protect him."

"Indeed."

"But you aren't hurting me. Because more importantly for you, I am his compromise."

"She's got it." He grinned.

"So if you're not hurting me, I must assume that's because you have a compromise." He smiled faltered slightly. It was only for a moment, but it was enough. "Ah, interesting. Not a relationship, sociopaths don't have the luxury. You're too old for it to be parents." He scoffed at that. "It's someone else. Your parents wouldn't have another child after you, not with what you are. So I would assume … ah, I think I have it."

"Do you?" He asked, trying to maintain his smug, cruel demeanour.

"Well, just because you don't have relationships, doesn't mean you don't have a libido. I would guess a child." And there it was, the silence. "That's why you won't hurt me physically, because you wouldn't wish the same on yours."

"That's rich." He said, springing up calmly and closing the space between us. "Is that what you think? That I wouldn't kill you? That I wouldn't beat you."

"That's what I think." I growled, leaning my head down to meet his crazed eye.

"It doesn't matter, you'll stay with me for as long as I like." He smirked. "You're mine."

"And Angus is fine. I don't care if he never finds me. It won't take me long to get out of here. And when I do, I'm going to hunt down your child and skin them alive." I said, my voice so low and hoarse it was almost a whisper. He lost it slightly, beating my ribs with his fists. I lifted my knees to beat him back and kicked him against the desk that he had enjoyed tormenting me from so very much. I heard a loud bang shortly after Murdoc hit the desk, and he looked up at the stairs as I did.

Suddenly, Jack and Angus came bursting down the stairs, Jack hurtling over the bannister and going in on Murdoc. Angus spun round the steps, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting my weight off my arms. "You shouldn't be here." I breathed, suddenly realising how little oxygen I'd been living on.

"Like I wouldn't come." He smirked, grabbing at the chair behind the on-going fight between Murdoc and Jack. He stood up high, using his Swiss army knife to unscrew the links in the bar holding me. I dropped from my shackled height and crumpled to the floor. In the same movement Jack lost control of Murdoc, Angus jumped down from the chair, and Murdoc went for the desk. I knew his weapon of choice, and used every last ounce of adrenaline coursing through my veins to stand, pushing in between Angus and Murdoc's 45 calibre silenced pistol. His face filled with surprise when he pulled the trigger, as though he hadn't wanted to hit me. It occurred to me later on that I might have gotten under his skin about his child. Angus caught me, Jack caught Murdoc. I dropped to the floor, crumpling again. "No, no, no." Angus breathed. "Lola? Lola, look at me. You have to look at me."

"Do I?" I smirked. He couldn't help but smile as he lay me on the ground softly.

"Glad you can make jokes when you're like this." He said, a tear spilling over the duct of his left eye. "I'm gonna put pressure on this ok?"

"Mmm." I said, as I knew what was coming. Angus pressed as much weight as he could onto my stomach, and I couldn't help but cry out again. It was the shock more than anything. The wound itself was distant to me, though I imagined that was more from blood loss than anything else.

I felt myself become clear slowly, waking in a surprisingly cold but comfortable space. I got my hearing back first, listening to my surroundings. I heard monitors and crying people, heavy breathing, and speech. "Why hasn't she woken up yet?" I heard Angus ask.

"She will." A soft voice replied.

"When?"

"When the sedatives wear off." The voice said sarcastically.

"Fine. Sorry." Angus said, taking a deep breath. I realised I had the feeling back in my limbs, and knew that once I was fully awake I would be aware of how little movement I had. "How is she?"

"She's good, stable. Any longer hanging there and she would've lost both her arms. She must've been taken down at some point, otherwise we would've seen far more serious complications."

"And the gun shot?" That was Riley, slightly more distant, but here with Angus.

"Through and through, she was lucky. Nicked a kidney but we got it patched up in time. There were a couple of cracked ribs too, but no internal bleeding as of now, she should be on the mend."

"When can we take her home?" And there was Wilt. Was the entire team here?

"She's gonna need to stay a few days here. We need to monitor the blood flow to her arms, and make sure she doesn't haemorrhage from any of the wounds. But you can probably take her home in about a week."

"I really don't wanna stay here for a week." I croaked, opening my eyes slowly.

"Lola!" Riley and Wilt both cried.

"Hi." I breathed, blinking hard.

"Hi." Angus said, coming into my small field of vision.

"Hi." I repeated, staring into the abyss of his beautiful blue eyes.

"Miss Williams? How are you feeling?" The soft voice asked, now more concerned as he flashed a light in my eyes and touched my face. "Like you're invading my personal space." I said flatly, trying to use my arms to sit up. "Ow!" I cried out, looking down weakly. "What the fuck?" I growled, trying to act like it didn't hurt as much as it did.

"You lost blood flow to your arms for far too long Miss Williams. You're going to have to stay here while you recover."

"Will I fuck." I said flatly, glaring up at him. The others laughed at that, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You don't have a choice." Angus said, grinning at me. "But I'm gonna be here the whole time."

"No you won't." I said softly. "You have to work." I turned to the doctor. "And you have to give me more pain meds." For some reason he actually smiled.

"Yes ma'am."


	10. Chapter 10: Suffocate

Chapter 10: Suffocate

"Angus, what are you doing here?" I asked with a smile, packing the last of my things neatly into my duffel bag.

"I came to take you home, from the hospital." He smiled, not sure whether to give me the white lilies he had half hidden behind him.

"Oh right, well, I can drive myself."

"Not this time."

"Why?"

"Well first, because it's only been 16 days, you're checking out AMA, and still recovering. And second, because we're putting you in a safe house." His tone became flatter at the second part, anticipating my reaction.

"No." I scoffed, ripping my bag from the bed, the blanket falling slightly with it. "Over my dead body."

"Well preferably we'd like … not that." He said sarcastically.

"Angus, I-." But what do I say? At the thought of actually going back to my home, where I was dosed with something and ripped away from my comfort and safety, I felt quite sick. It occurred to me that actually, I wasn't ready to go home at all. "Ok." I huffed, not meting his eye.

"Seriously? You're not gonna fight me on this?" His eyebrows near met his hairline he was so surprised.

"It won't change the outcome." I shrugged. "So let's go."

I couldn't tell you a reason to enjoy the safe house. It's dark and … blank. It looks exactly like a place you've packed up to leave, and yet I'm here for the foreseeable future. It has been 4 weeks, 6 days and 8 hours since I left the hospital 'against medical advice'. It has been 4 weeks, 6 days, and 8 hours since I have seen Angus MacGyver. When Jack comes over we clean his gun collection together, and he promises me that Angus is simply busy trying to catch Murdoc. When Wilt comes over he avoids the subject entirely. He asks me about how he should treat Riley, and tells me about the exciting new things the lab is making.

"Seriously, you would love it. It's a body suit with sensors on it, so when you get hit that part constricts, so it feels like a proper injury."

"What could that possibly be for?"

"It's for training, so you can use blanks and those fake knives and stuff."

"I'm sure that'll come in handy." I smirked, rolling my eyes.

"It will for training week."  
"Training week?"

"Well, you and I were kinda special circumstances, usually training week is the best and the brightest of the government. They come to the foundation and stay in the bunks downstairs, and train for a week. At the end Matty gets to decide who gets to stay and who gets the boot. It's kinda cool to watch."

"I'll remember that." I said absently.

"… Look, Mac wants to see you." I said nothing, an eyebrow rising without permission. "He just feels guilty."

"There's nothing he could've done better."

"Says you. To Mac, he couldn't protect the one person that-."

"That what?" I scoffed.

"Come on Lo, you know how much you mean to him. He just wants to catch Murdoc."

"He won't."

"He did it before."  
"Yeah but… Look, Murdoc is like an AI. He learns from his mistakes with pinpoint accuracy, every little thing he possibly could've done wrong, he's controlled for it this time."

"Mac nearly got him this time."  
"Angus nearly died." I snapped. The door behind us slammed, followed swiftly by a heavy duffel bag hitting the floor.

"No _you_ nearly died. Get that into your skull Lola." Riley had walked in, and she was pissed. "Can you imagine what it would've been like for you if Mac had been shot? That's how he feels right now. He watched you lose your pulse in his arms, that's gonna affect a guy." She said, sitting down on the chair across from Wilt and I. We stared each other down for a minute; even Wilt silenced by the tension. Eventually I nodded, and we said nothing more on the subject.

It has been 3 months, 4 weeks, and 1 day since I was shot. Last week I was allowed out of the safe house, but chose to go straight to the Phoenix for training. I had missed a lot. Angus had given up on trying to find Murdoc, much to his dismay. There were other cases, and other people who needed him. I have yet to see him.

Day 5 in the Phoenix, the training quarters on B5 really aren't that bad, I've taken to them. I got up this morning and went to the gym, and I fought. I fought with myself, with the dummies, the bags, hell I punched a mat at one point. There is something entirely terrifying about feeling weak, and I can't take it. I can't be the girl who got shot, I don't want people to see me as the girl that Murdoc kidnapped. I want to be the girl that killed him. Jack joined me in the afternoon; they're leaving on another mission tonight, one that (yet again) I don't get to be a part of. "Are you sure you should be training like this?" Jack asked, holding the punching bag for me as I went in.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," he began, standing up. "You've been training really hard since the minute you got back. Take it from someone who knows, bullet holes don't just go away."

"But muscle mass does, and the sooner I'm up to speed the sooner I can come back."

"Lola, come on, you hardly lost any muscle in the first place. You just feel different."

"Yes, and it sucks." I said, more emotionally than I meant to. I stood up straight and rolled round on my heels, pushing my sweat soaked wisps of hair from my face and looking Jack dead in the eye. "I feel, weak. I am not weak." My tone was so stern and certain that Jack seemed to realise his best choice was not to say anything. He nodded and held the bag again. We sparred in silence.

I must have done something wrong yesterday, because whatever it was it warranted a visit from Angus. But we'll get to that. I was on the wooden dummy, working on my Wing Chun. My wraps never did much to stop bruising, but I wore them anyway. "You sure that's a good idea?" I looked up from my intense stare at the face I'd drawn in marker, to see the least familiar face in this building.

"I'll be fine." I said flatly. Hitting again, harder this time. Much harder. He crossed the room and stepped onto the mat, cautiously positioning himself on the far side of the wooden dummy.

"Not if you keep fighting like this. You need time to recover."

"The way I hear it, that's you." I said flatly, my movements becoming rhythmic as I felt myself on solid ground.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around. I've been busy."

"Finding Murdoc? You're not going to catch him Angus, we both know that."

"What was I supposed to do? I couldn't just let him go?"

"So you let me go instead?" I asked absently. I could hear the hitch in his breath over the beat of my bruised arms against the dummy.

"I was trying to protect you."

"Did you catch him?" I asked.

"… No." He said, his tone resentful.

"Then exactly how were you protecting me?"

"Would you stop that for just a minute, please?" He was exasperated. I stood up straight, dropping my arms to my sides. I looked at him, properly for the first time in the conversation. He was beautiful. Damn he was so beautiful. "Thank you." He huffed. "Look, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should've come to see you. But I'm here now, I wanna be there for you while you recover."

"Well, too little too late. I'm recovered." I said flatly. I stepped back from the dummy and lifted my shirt. "See? Healed. You missed it."

"I don't think I did."

"Well contrary to what you believe, I don't care what you think. Now if you don't mind, I wanna get back to my trials."

2 weeks, 3 days, and 5 hours since I moved into the Phoenix foundation. Tomorrow I am up for review, and if I pass then I'm back on the team. Not entirely sure how much I want that at this point, but I'm trying. It's the middle of the night, everyone else has gone home, and I'm still training. There's no reason not to be, I'm awake. But the more I train the more mind numbing it becomes. I know this means that I'm back, I have my skills, my strength, and it's becoming natural again. Unfortunately it also means that my mind has the ability to wonder, and I don't like where it goes. I can't breathe. I can't breathe and I know it isn't training hard. It's remembering the feeling of being strung up like a piece of meat, the pressure on my lungs, my shoulders feeling like they're going to pop from their sockets, my arms as though when they're let down my hands will touch my feet. I can't fix this. There's nothing I can do about this, and it feels awful. "I heard you'd moved in." I looked up, breathless, tears streaming my face amongst the depths of sweat. It's fine, you couldn't tell.

"I'm training."

"I can see that. When was the last time you went home?" I said nothing.

"… Lola, have you been home?" Angus crossed the room, and I started pummelling the dummy again.

"What business is that of yours?" I said flatly.

"It's my business Lo, I care about you." I huffed, leaning an arm on the dummy as I smirked to myself. "You know that's all I've heard these past few months?" I said, looking up at him with distain. "Oh Lola, it's fine, Mac cares about you, he cares about you. He just wants to find Murdoc because he cares about you. You weren't there when I needed you Angus. So what does it matter if you care about me?" He was … horrified. He'd not seen it like this. I don't think he'd realised how bad things were between us. But now he was getting it.

"Lola." He started.

"No, Angus. Really, I'm good. I know, you're sorry you weren't there. But I'm done, I don't need you to take care of me."

"Pretty sure that's not true." He said, a little smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. I couldn't take that though. Angus MacGyver you can do whatever you please, but I cannot take you smirking at my pain. So I went off.

"No. You don't get to laugh. You don't get to enjoy this." I said, dropping my arms as I walked round the dummy and facing Angus, for the first time in I don't know how long. "I was taken. My home, my comfort, my safety was violated. I was shot, and the one person who I would give my life for, who I nearly gave my life for, wasn't even there." I cried, tears overrunning the sweat on my face. "I haven't been home Angus because I'm terrified of going home! My voice hitched and I stopped myself. There were a million words I could say to describe how distraught and lost and hurt I felt, but none would truly convey it. Not that I wanted to. I took a deep shaky breath and composed myself.

"Lola, I am here for you." He said sternly. I closed my eyes and shook my head, staring intently into his baby blues.

"Look at me, Angus MacGyver. I am not the same girl you knew when you were 15, I'm not even the same girl I was 4 months ago. I am weak, I am scared … and I am suffocating." A tear ripped across his flawless check, so thick a droplet fell from his tight jaw.

"You're wrong." He frowned. "When we made bows and arrows in the forest, when I saw you in that coffee shop, when you saved my life in that library, and when you couldn't stand for weeks because of your injury, you were still the same person. Then and now, you are strong, and you are determined, and for some crazy reason, you love me. Beyond a shadow of a doubt right? That's what you used to tell me." He took my face in his shaky hands, pressing his forehead to mine. "If you feel like you're suffocating, hold your breath. And I will hold my breath with you. I love you, and I have always loved you and I am always going to love you. So I will hold my breath too, because I am here with you, beyond a shadow of a doubt." I closed my eyes, my cheeks streaming with tears, most of them soaked up by Angus' strong, rough hands. "Do you understand me?" He asked, pulling at my jaw to look at him. I nodded, wrapping my arms around his waist.

It felt kind of like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I can't tell you that all I needed was Angus. I am still scared, and I still can't go home, and I still feel weak and inferior. But there is something very revitalising about knowing I have someone in the abyss with me. So I gasp for air, and I solider on.

Angus helped me shower and pack my things. We stole some supplies from the med bay to redress my bullet hole, and he took me home. His home, mind, I still wasn't going to mine.

It was the first time I had even considered doing anything normal. Wilt was cooking when we got there. He and I stared at each other for a minute, before I walked into the kitchen and we met with a strong, embracing hug. He made his famous burgers, and the three of us sat on the sofa and watched Star Trek: Next Generation. I felt normal, like the TV set was some sort of surface to the bed of the lake I'd been chained too, like I could actually come up for air.

* * *

Hi everyone! I am so sorry it has been so long since I've posted a chapter!

Basically I have exams, like I'm sure many of you on here do as well. But also, this was a pretty hard chapter to write. I re-wrote it three times fully, still tweaking until about 10 minutes before I posted it. This is a very emotional chapter for the characters, and I just hope I can do them justice.

I'm afraid it'll be a another while to wait until the next chapter, but it will be good. I hope. You can expect a lot in June!

Anyway, enjoy!


	11. Chapter 11: Hold Me Down

Chapter 11: Hold Me Down

I woke up this morning after the first good night's sleep I've had in months. I woke up beside Angus. I watched him for a while, listening to him snore. It's comforting, the abundant lack of silence. Unfortunately his alarm went off, and he rolled over with a stretch, switching it off and lying on his back. He stared up at the ceiling for a minute before turning his head to look at me. "Do you feel ready for today?" He asked.

"Yes." I said softly. "Do you know what they're gonna do?"

"The same tests as last time, but you have to stay for an over night psych evaluation."

"Right."

"Still think you're ready? Cause you can extend your recovery period if you need more time."

"No, I'm ready. I quit Tesla for a reason."

"They wouldn't give you three months off."

"And because my heart is at the Phoenix foundation." I laughed, pushing at him.

I sat in the girls' locker room in the training centre, my heart slowly gaining pace as I wondered what would change. The physical part of my evaluation came first this time. I was given tactical gear, and training weapons, and I was told to run the tactical course they put in front of me. Objectively it went well. I breached through a basement window, working my way up through the property. They had built a house in the B6 warehouse, which spans 4 floors itself. I cleared the basement level, and the ground, before finding a hidden room in the first floor northwest wall. This of course being very similar to the debrief I had to give afterwards. The secret room had a girl in it, probably one of the UC girls. She was tiny. I unlocked her and got her out of the house, before doing a final sweep of the place. I was met with the return of the 'offender', and took him down swiftly when he engaged me with his weapon.

I have been hacking different government networks for weeks, doing what Riley couldn't. The person who bought Angus' life is still out there, and I've become very familiar with processes in which to find them. Anyone in fact, which is why the technical assessment went flawlessly. Riley pulled me aside as we walked through the viewing area afterwards. She had clocked me, and wanted to know exactly what I was up to. I should have known I couldn't fool her. "I didn't teach you that."

"I've been practicing." I shrugged.

"I know exactly what you've been doing."

"… Are you gonna rat me out?"

"No. I'm gonna help you."

"No, you won't." I said, turning to her.

"What?"

"Riley, you're an incredible person, but when I find who I'm looking for, you're not gonna wanna be a part of that."

"You can't just-." I stopped her, raising a hand.

"Don't bother. Just, forget it, ok?"

"No, Lola this is a terrible idea."

"Lola, could I talk to you about something?" Marcus interrupted us, coming over to us without actually being invited. I was glad of his interjection though, I couldn't imagine how this conversation with Riley would go if we carried on. "This isn't over." She whispered to me.

"Lola, training week is coming up next month, and I've been looking over the candidates. When it comes to it, if you're not on assignment, do you think you could help me with something?"

"Sure, I'd be happy too." I smiled.

"Great. You're with me this afternoon for your physical, think you're up for it?"

"I'm good for it." I smiled.

When I met Marcus that afternoon I wasn't worried. I don't know why, I should've been. I'm sure it was very satisfying for him to kick my ass like he did. Unfortunately it meant that my reinstatement would be postponed, so I had to do something. He decided to finish his assessment with bo staff trials, and something inside me seemed to … awaken. I don't think I realised how much I wanted this, how much it meant to me to be a part of this team. How much I'd missed it. Marcus got me on my back, and probably thought he had me dead to rights. But I rolled back and stood, braced for impact. He came at me, and I switched my weight, using my staff to let his lunge roll to my side, causing him to drop to the floor. I hit his leg and ribs (lightly), before holding the tip to his trachea. "Pass me." I ordered. He smiled, and knocked my staff away, standing comfortably. "I was never gonna fail you." He smiled.

"But I lost every other fight."

"That's not what I'm testing you on. Your abilities are up, maybe you lost, but you passed the skills test. With flying colours, might I add. Don't be so hard on yourself." I think my frown said it all. "You don't have to take the kill every time." And there it was, the sentence that made no sense to me, and terrified me all at once. I was always taught that it was kill or be killed, the concept that I didn't have to live by that? Well, it scared me.

That was the assessments down for the day, and all that was left was to be kept for observation over night. I lay down in the bunk I had become so abundantly familiar with, and to my surprise, I slept. The simple knowledge that I might actual make it back to semi-normalcy was enough to allow me a few hours of relief, even from my nightmares. I see him, Murdoc, in my dreams. His drooping eyes and thin lips look at me with a taste for my blood, and yet he had never planned to draw mine. I believed him on that, which of course frightened me further. I do not doubt he would have found a way to turn me, to force me to do his bidding, help him with his services, his manipulation skills were ... above average.

I might have gotten more clear sleep had I not been awoken at 2:13am by noises coming from outside the bunk room. A knock-out grenade of some sort breached the room, giving me little to no time to find cover. I was taken, and honestly I was getting really sick of it.

I don't think it was long before I awoke, strapped to a chair in a dark room with a man I had never met. "Miss Williams, how kind of you to join us." I glared at him. He had pale skin and a weak jaw, with dark hair and dark eyes. "You're not gonna talk to me? That's a shame, because I'll have to do bad things." He said, like a little girl threatening her parents.

"Do your worst to me." I shrugged, spitting at him for good measure. He laughed delightedly.

"Oh no Miss Williams, I won't do anything to _you_. I'm going to do it, to him." He said, turning a computer screen to me in the corner of the room. I saw Wilt, all tied up. "Are you now." I said flatly.

"Ooo that was good, your voice didn't even waver. For a moment I almost believed you." I scoffed at him. "Your friend is getting the same deal Miss Williams, I want to know who is coming in on the black plan detail in three days. I want to know the exact plan, and I want it now."

"Do you? That's nice." I said, in my most patronising tone.

Wilt screamed, and it was a scream of true pain. It didn't take him long to pass out, which gave us both some relief. What was I to do though? I couldn't even lie, I knew nothing of the detail coming in, I hadn't even been cleared yet, let alone assigned. "I will give you anything you want, once I see him freed." This was about 4 hours in, and no one had moved.

"He is my leverage, why would I ever let him go?"

"Because I know who we're protecting, and I know where we're taking them, and how you can infiltrate the plan. All you have to do, is let him go."

"How about I let you go, and when we have the target in custody you can have your friend back."

"How about no." I said flatly.

"I am getting tired of your games."

"I am getting tired of yours." I said through gritted teeth. "If you need either of us, you keep us alive. You know I won't tell you anything if you kill him, nor can I tell you anything if I die. So do your worst, stranger. I promise you, it will do you little good." He rolled his eyes, and then there it was again. That metallic taste in my mouth. It wasn't until afterwards that I realised where I'd tasted that before.

I had tasted it when I had been ripped from my bed just hours before, and I tasted it now as I awoke back there. I was tucked in and everything. Daylight did not reach this deep level of underground, I instead awoke to the harsh iridescent lights of the training bunk room. "Good morning Miss Williams." I rolled over in my daze to see Matty sat on the bed across from mine. "Matty?"

"Last night was, well played."

"... It was a training exercise." I nodded. "I should've known."

"The whole point was that you didn't."

"I assume Wilt is ok?"

"He's fine. As are you, I hope."

"I'm fine too." I said, smiling at her as I sat up. "Is it time for my psych eval?"

"Nope, you passed that last night. You're free to go."

"I am?" I frowned.

"Yes. But only for the day. Tomorrow you need to be briefed on that black plan detail coming in."

"Ok." I smiled, standing up as she did.

"Oh but Lola, you might wanna shower." She said, looking me up and down. I looked down at the grease and dirt covering my night clothes. I nodded and 'hit the showers'.

Angus met me at the entrance to the foundation. "Ready to go home?" He smiled, peeling himself from the wall with all his strength and grace.

"Home?" I frowned. He smirked, dropping his head and taking my bag.

"Look, I know you passed your tests, but that doesn't make everything better. So until you're ready to go back to yours, you're staying with Bozer and I. Because really, the alternative is here, and that's just sad." He joked.

"Right." I laughed. "Ok then."

I knew he didn't need me to say thank you. So we just, went home.


	12. Chapter 12: Madness

Chapter 12: Madness

I woke up first this morning. Comfortable as ever. I rolled over to see Angus asleep beside me, a hand behind his head, tilting it towards the bright sunlight streaming in from the window. I pulled myself up on one arm and scooted down, leaning in and kissing his chest. He flinched at the action, so I kept moving. I made little pecks up his chest until I got to his shoulder, at which point he conveniently awoke, rolling his head round and looking down at me. "That tickles." He smirked.

"Well by all means, stop me." I taunted, kissing back down towards his nipple. He covered it with a hand on his chest, before reaching it onto my cheek.

"How did you sleep?" He asked softly, trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"Better than ever." I said, rolling my eyes slightly as I shifted up to his level.

"And are you ever gonna tell me what really happened?"

"That would require you to know everything."

"Yes it would."

"I'm pretty sure you don't want that."

"Why?"

"Demons in the closet." I shrugged, rolling over and sitting up over the edge of the bed.

"You're gonna brush past that like it doesn't mean anything? Are you ever gonna open up to me?" Before I could answer my phone buzzed off the edge of the beside table. I lifted it from the floor to see Matty's glaring eyes staring into my soul. "Saved by the bell." I said, opening the message. "We gotta go in." Angus sat up and checked his own phone.

"I don't."

"What?" I frowned, turning to him.

"Looks like this one's just you."

"But we work as a team." I frowned. He smiled and moved to sit by me on the edge of the bed.

"Sometimes there's just too much work." He joked.

"I don't feel right about going without you."

"You'll be fine."

"It's not me I'm worried about." He huffed at me.

"Of course it's not." He stood up and pulled on a pair of jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. "Look, Matty wouldn't send you out alone if she didn't know you were ready, you should be happy about this." He walked over to me and I stood in front of him. I couldn't quite get out the real reason I was so unhappy about this, so I simply nodded and got dressed myself.

When I got to the office it seemed different. Walking into the briefing room without Jack and his hot Cheetos to join me. "Good morning Lola." Matty said, holding her pad as though nothing was different.

"You didn't call anyone else in?"

"No, this is a small protection detail, under the radar."

"Who's the mark?"

"Not the mark. Not the target."

"Right. Ok." I nodded, slipping onto the sofa and leaning forward. "Who is it?"

"Dr Alsea Abuleil. She is a Canadian national and has developed a new green fuel that can apparently work in current cars."

"Are you serious? That's incredible!"

"Calm down, you stopped working at Tesla, remember?" Matty smirked. I sat back, slightly frustrated. "Where and when?"

"That's more like it." She nodded. "Two hours, our drivers are taking her."

"Where?"

"United States Climate Summate. You can imagine with the legislation passed in recent months that some people aren't too happy it's going on. Dr Abuleil is the keynote speaker, and you are going to escort her."

"I'm a chauffer?"

"You're a bodyguard."

"Oh, that's better." I scoffed.

"You will be joined by two probationary agents, it's their first mission, they'll be posing as her security. They are watching _you_ to know what to do, so don't do what you normally do." I rolled my eyes.

"If they look like security, where do I fit in?" I asked.

"You will be posing as her assistant."

"And when does she reach the country?" Matty looked up and glanced out the window at a woman shaking hands with some agents. She had beautiful light brown skin and a simple but intricately woven hijab covering her head, paired well with an attractive pantsuit. Matty gestured to her to enter and she joined us in the conference room. "She's already here." Matty said as Dr Abuleil walked in.

"Hi Matty." She smiled, going over to her as they exchanged kissed as a greeting. She turned to me to do the same.

"I wouldn't." Matty said, holding a hand out to stop her. "Ok." She frowned slightly. "I'm Alsea." She said, smiling at me. I glanced at Matty as she gave me a look as though to say 'be as sweet as a unicorn or get burnt by the fire'. I bowed my head slightly in contempt for the situation. "Lola."

"Alsea, Lola is going to escort you throughout the day, as well as two tactical agents. Anything you need you ask her though, engage with the agents as little as possible." I couldn't help but glare at Matty for that. Am I actually supposed to be the woman's assistant? Can the agents with us not handle this? She noted my distain. "But be aware, if Lola perceives a threat, you have to do as she says."

"The summit is my priority Matty."

"But you are ours. We were hired to protect you, and that is exactly what we'll do."

"… Thank you." She nodded eventually.

Two hours later I had suited up and met Dr Abuleil at the SUVs. She tried to make conversation with me on the way to the summit, but I admit I did not engage with her. "Look, you don't have to like me, I don't assume this is your favourite job, but would it be so bad to talk to me?"

"… Are there any health concerns I should know about?"

"What?"

"Health concerns. Asthma? Allergies? Head injury? Defective lung." To my surprise, a small smile crept to the corners of her mouth as she dropped her head in a sigh.

"No, none."

"Ok."

"That is unless you count the burn scars."

"Burn scars?"

"My dad wasn't the nicest guy in the world. One time a fight with my mom turned into a broken bottle and a smoke, before I knew it the house was on fire."

"… I'm sorry."

"Thank you." She nodded, turning back to looking out the window. "Glad you feel something." I laughed slightly at the comment, but said nothing.

When we got to the summit everything seemed like it was going fine. We were checked into a boardroom on the 13th floor, with a keypad lock. We went to one talk in the morning, before going back up to the room for lunch. "Can I ask you something?" She asked across the table.

"Sure." I shrugged, as quite simply I couldn't be bothered to make the effort it took not to engage with her.

"If you are some amazing agent of a secret organisation, here to protect me…"

"Yes?"

"Then what are they for?" She asked, glancing to the two probationary agents stood at the door.

"They have completely their training, this is their first operation."

"So shouldn't they be in disguise too? Like you are?"

"They're a diversion, should anything occur."

"So they're supposed to take the hit?"

"No. They're supposed to be a diversion." I reiterated. "I am your security." I began, before I realised how little I actually wanted to have this conversation. "And that's all you ever need know." I said shortly, eating a sandwich.

At 3:15pm it was time for her keynote speech, so we made our way down to the main conference room. I stood at the side of the stage, as her Phoenix Foundation regulation I was not allowed to be more than 5 metres from her at any time. Her speech appeared to be going as planned, and I'm sure you expect me to tell you that a rogue gunman got up from the middle of the crowd and shot her. That didn't happen. The speech went smoothly, everyone in the audience clapped. I thought that was the day done with, but instead I was informed swiftly that there was a book signing. I remained stood firmly behind Dr Abuleil at all times while her hand got tired signing books for what appeared to be everyone in the entire city.

If you must know, what happened was at 8:18pm, as we were leaving the complex. We got in our car, or while I checked the licence plate, and were followed by the probation agents with us. It wasn't until we took a right when we should have taken a left that something clocked. Alsea looked at me and I stared straight at the driver. I could feel the fear behind her eyes burning a hole in my temple, but I didn't have time to calm her. "Stay quiet." I said under my breath as I assessed the situation. After about 5 minutes of going in the completely wrong direction, I tried the only thing I could think of. I knew if I attacked the driver while we were moving it could do more harm than good, and there was no phone service to contact the probation agents, so I had to think of something. "Carter, the good Doctor needs the bathroom, we'll have to stop." I said absently, looking at my phone as though nothing was remiss.

"We can't stop, have to get back to base." The poor guy, he tried his hardest to hide his southern drawl but it shone through like an old bruise.

"Fine but you're the one paying for the new seats when you tell the director the Doctor paying us good money pissed herself." I said, even flatter than before. He huffed angrily but pulled off into an alley, parking the car up. "Be quick." He said, keeping his face from the reflection in the rear view mirror. I looked at the doctor and she nodded at me, getting out of the car. "Do you think I'm stupid?" He asked once she was gone.

"Not I." I said, raising a hand to my chest, feigning surprise. He turned his head and revealed his blonde dirty curls and buck teeth.

"I'm not alone here. She's gonna pay for the shit she's caused."

"You mean making the world a better place? Yes such a terrible feet." I said, rolling my eyes and opening my car door.

"You think this is funny?"

"Not at all. As a matter of fact, I think it's ridiculous." I said, getting out of the car and kicking off my heels. I pulled at the little zip on my skirt, allowing my legs to breathe for the first time all damn day. The probationary agents got out of their car as the driver did. Another car pulled up, a high suspension truck with four-wheel drive and custom everything. It was quite horrendous. Three men got out, carrying various American made assault rifles. "Gentlemen," I began, lifting my arms in surrender and smiling at them as everyone in the alley stepped towards the space between the cars. "I think you've bitten off more than you can chew, and you should probably walk away." I tried to stand in the way of the men getting to Alsea, but before I could one of them grabbed her, throwing her to the ground behind them. She looked at me and I gave her a little smirk. "What are you smiling at, bitch?" One of the men from the truck asked her. "Is it them?" He asked, looking at the probationary agents. One of the other guys smirked.

"Not a problem." He said, as though it were a one liner in a Die Hard film. With that, he and the one who hadn't talked yet shot our probationary agents in their chests, knocking them firmly to the ground. They were still wearing Kevlar obviously, but these men were morons. Alsea looked to me again, and I mouthed for her to 'stay quiet', to which she pulled across a small smile and nodded. "What you so happy about?" The quiet one asked.

"It's not them you should've been worried about." She smiled. Before any of the men could understand her statement I pulled my glocks from underneath the baggy waist of my shirt and shot the four of them in the head. "You ok?" I asked, tucking them back into my skirt. "So glad that line paid off." She smiled, releasing a huge breath.

"Lets go." I turned back to the cars, and the agents. "Thomas, Grayson, you guys alright?"

"Little winded, maybe a cracked rib or two." Grayson said, getting up with a groan.

We went back to the foundation and I said my goodbyes to the good doctor. She smiled at me when I came over. "Thank you for today, I wasn't expecting any of it, but it means a lot that you were there to help."

"Well, it's literally my job so." I smiled. "But it wasn't the worst job in the world." I said, rolling my eyes. "Take care of yourself, ok?"  
"I will." She smiled. Two agents escorted her out, and finally she wasn't my problem anymore. I turned back to the conference room, and walked inside without even assessing the room. Wilt was sat on the couch with his head in his hands, Riley was typing furiously on her laptop, and Matty was grilling Jack, who looked like he'd recently walked across No Man's Land. But when I walked in, they all stopped dead and stared at me. "Where's Angus?" I asked flatly. You could cut the ensuing silence in the room with a knife.

You'd be surprised what in this world can drive a person mad.


	13. Chapter 13: How Much Further

Chapter 13: How Much Further

"The case went a little sideways, we're working on it." Jack said, trying to play it off.

"Sideways?" I asked, my tone lower and my scowl worsening.

"… The Alekatzian mob has Mac, but he's fine." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, before crossing the room in pure unadulterated rage.

"He's fine?!" I screamed. "How would you know you let him get captured **by the mob**!" I beat against Jack's chest, trying my best not to hit him anywhere it would hurt. It was the most control I could muster at this point. He grabbed my wrists and stared down at me. "Now look here, we're gonna get him back alright, that's exactly what everyone's working on." Jack said, trying to rationalise with me.

"You should've sent me with them! You should've waited until I was back or pulled me off that ridiculous security detail." I said, yelling at Matty. She wasn't having any of it.

"Agent Williams!" She returned, raising her voice without actually yelling. "I remind you that I am still your superior, and as your superior I will give you 30 seconds to think about your behaviour." We stared each other down for the 30 seconds she gave me, before I stood up straight and let out a deep breath.

"The Alekatzian mob has nearly achieved an ochlocracy in Alekatz. Why do they want Angus?"

"Well, we may or may not have been trying restore some order over there." Jack said, tilting his head as though it were a comedic concept. I swear I was doing all I could not to rip his head off; no wonder Matty hated him so much.

"Have they made any demands yet? What do they want?"

"They want weapons, my guess is enough to completely wipe out the government. They were paying for them, up until about 4 hours ago."

"… They hold him for random." I said, piecing together the situation.

"They think we can provide them with the weapons they want." Matty said flatly.

"They're not wrong." I scoffed.

"We do not negotiate with-." Matty began.  
"Anybody." I finished. We stared each other down for a moment. "Let me go in."

"We can't send anyone in." Matty frowned. "We need to handle this delicately."

"A trade then, fake weapons." Wilt piped up, trying to give an option.

"They will doubtlessly test them. Maybe the first layer?"

"The weapons they want aren't physical." Jack sighed. I looked over to Riley, who had ignored every word of this.

"They want the Alekatzian systems." I inferred. "With access they can bring down the entire government without a bullet fired." Riley suddenly looked up, her eyes wide with a realisation that hadn't yet reached the rest of us.

"Not access."

"What?" Jack asked.

"Not access. They don't need access they need control. They need control of the systems, the ability to literally shut down the government that's what they want."

"So if you write a programme to allow them access, but not let them control anything, then we should be good, right?" Wilt asked, suddenly sounding hopeful.

"I'll have to let them do something, like you said they'll test it."

"You can figure that out, right?" Wilt said, standing up and clapping his hands together.

Jack and I have one thing in common, and that is a genetic inability not to stand still. We couldn't just sit in the conference room waiting for intel, so when Jack invited me downstairs to spar I couldn't say no, regardless of how mad at him I might have been. We suited up in MMA gloves for basic hand–to-hand. Unfortunately I was taking it a little too seriously, which became apparent when I hit Jack square in the jaw. He staggered back, holding his jaw and glaring at me, back frowning down at the ground and shaking it off. He stared me down for a minute, before letting out a harsh breath and bouncing on his toes again. "You know, there are better ways to let out your anger." He said as I dodged a right hook.

"Really? Got any examples?"

"Not to hand." He said, swinging at me again. I wrapped my arm around his wrist and swung myself underneath, pushing him down.

"What's your job Jack?" I asked flatly. He rolled over and looked at me.

"I take care of Mac."

"Exactly. You're supposed to keep him safe." I spat, glaring at him. "It-." I cut myself off. It doesn't take a genius to know how that sentence would go down. Sometimes it really is just better to shut your mouth.

"Say it." He spat back, getting up and squaring up to me. "I know you want to." He pushed me back. "Say it."

"Jack." I said flatly, trying to calm him.

"No! You're right Lola! It should be me. I agree with you." I could've sworn I almost saw tears in his eyes. "I know where they are, I can only imagine what they're doing to him, and yet I'm stuck here, doing nothing about it."

"You heard Matty, it's a country on the verge of a complete governmental overturn, we can't just waltz in there and break him out." Jack turned away from me in anger.

"Why the hell not?!" Jack asked, turning back to me. "You and I, best in the business. We could get in and out with Mac without anyone noticing."

"… You're serious. You're actually considering doing this."

"Would you rather just leave him there?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Then lets go." He said, exasperated. "We can be on the air strip in 20 minutes, Matty'll never know we're gone." I thought about fighting him on it, I really did. But my mind shifted back to 20 hours ago, when Angus and I woke up, the sunlight streaming in from the window, the smile on his face.

"Let's go."

Jack and I chartered a small cargo jet to Alekatz. It is a very small country, but sometimes the small things really tip the scales. Jack and I had managed to tack up in record time, so when we got to the ground we went straight for cover. It was an old abandoned primary school in a village near the airstrip. Bullet holes had torn holes in almost everything in sight; I shudder to think what happened here. We moved through the streets, tracking the length of the village until we came to a huge fence. This seemed to be the start of the actual country, as though the airstrip itself had been exiled. We were met with an electrified fence and half a click to the nearest checkpoint (not that we'd want to go there anyway). "See now, this is where Mac would whip something up and get us in under the radar." Jack frowned, shaking his head at the ground.

"You give up that easily Dalton?" I smirked.

"… I think that's the first time I've heard you call _anyone_ by their last name."

"It's more impersonal." I shrugged. "How's your sense of smell?"

"Excellent, why?"

"Then you're gonna wanna hold your breath." I said, nodding my head 20 feet to our right (away from the checkpoint).

"I can handle that." He nodded as we moved off towards the sewer grate.

We made it about half through the city when we encountered trouble. The sewers split off into tandem routes, none of which lead us in the direction of the building Angus was suspected to be in. "Which way?" Jack asked, looking between the two different tunnels in despair.

"We'll have to split up."

"Really? In a hostile country without any idea where we're going that's your plan?" He said sarcastically.

"Do you have a better one?" I spat back.

"Well yeah how about we get Riley to-."  
"To what? There is no Riley, Jack. No computers no tack team, no back up. It's you and me getting Angus back before they …" I trailed off, unable to finish such a sentence. Jack came up to me, hands pressing my shoulders together and pulling me up straight.

"Look at me. Angus MacGyver is the smartest man we both know, and if anyone can stay alive in this situation it's him. Ok?" I closed my eyes for a moment, before nodding at him. "Good. Now, the next smartest person I know … well its Riley. But then it's you." He actually made me laugh slightly at that. "Now, you looked at these plans, you know the layout of this island. So which way? We'll go together, you just have to think, _which way_." I closed my eyes again. I had looked over blueprints before we left, and considering the angle we'd be traveling at, we'd veered to the left. "Right. We need to go right." I said, looking over Jack's shoulder.

"Ok. That's more like it."

We walked through the tunnels for what felt like miles, the closer we got the more I thought about what they might be doing to Angus, and the more I worried. We were maybe half a mile from the holding sight when we heard voices, and I don't think two people had blended into walls so fast. "There shouldn't be anyone down here with us." Jack hissed at me.

"Shh." I hissed back, trying to listen to the voices. They couldn't have been far off, two of them, and getting closer.

"It's about 8 miles to the airstrip, come on." The woman's voice said. She was American, young.

"I'm fine, you keep a look out, I can walk." I couldn't miss that voice. American, deep, hoarse, and wonderful. Jack and I stared at each other, and I lead the way. There was a left turn, then a right and another right almost immediately afterwards, but I would walk this entire island to find Angus.

Round the third corner I was met face-to-face with a blonde. She had swimming blue eyes and muscular curves. "Drop it!" She yelled at me.

"Not a chance." I said, my stern reply chilling her. Jack joined me round the corner and our Mexican stand off ensued.

"Nikki?" Jack asked, surprised.

"Jack?" She replied. Before anyone said anything else Angus stumbled forward, leaning against the wall between 'Nikki' and I, staring me down.

"It's ok, Lola. Put it down." He rolled to his side, pressing his back against the wall and looking at her too. "You too." Angus looked back at me, a look in his eye hoping I would just … trust him. I hated doing that. I lowered my gun nonetheless. She did too, and Jack went to Angus' aid.

"Not looking too good there man, you alright?"  
"Yeah, thanks to Nikki." He smiled, glancing back at her as he let Jack help him along. "You guys know your way back from here?" He asked. 'Nikki' and I glanced at each other before I lead the party back the direction Jack and I had come.

"It's about an hour and a half back through the tunnels, comes up the far side of the city fence. Then a short walk through an old village back to the airstrip." I explained.

"That's the same way I came." 'Nikki' said, as though that added anything to the situation. "Just earlier than you." She said, not even lowering her voice.

"Is that where exfil is? The airstrip?" Angus asked. I looked back and made eye contact with Jack.

"Well, it's a funny story." He started. Angus stopped the group, and I turned back to them.

"Funny story?" He asked.

"He means there is no exfil. That's why you guys took so long to get here, right?" 'Nikki' asked.

"We're not that late." Jack said sarcastically.

"Takes a while to sneak away from Matty Webber. Honestly you guys, it means a lot that you came." Angus said, I think trying to relieve tensions more than anything.

"It's nice to see you again Jack." 'Nikki' said, pulling up in front of the group.

The conversation went on like this, small talk, most of which was mission directed. 'Nikki' had gotten into the country through airdrop, landing on the airstrip and following the same route Jack and I had thought of, through the sewers. We made it to the grate and Jack gave Angus a leg up, since it seemed his right side was completely incapacitated. Once we were topside and had made it back to the airstrip Jack joined me to survey the area. There wasn't a flight picking us up, and the pilot who had been kind enough to bring us here, had not stuck around. We needed to piece together a plane, and we needed to do it quickly. Jack and I walked round the only hanger, and found a plane that wasn't too far from running. "Alright, place looks clear. I'll get Mac in here, sure he can whip something up."

"No need. I got this." I said, heading over to a cupboard and finding old pieces of engine. "Somebody took out the fan belt and the water tank and never replaced them. I can have us up and running in about an hour."

"Ok, great." Jack said, clear apprehension in his voice. He turned to leave the hanger as I pulled out a water tank from the very back of the shelf in front of me.

"Jack?" I asked, stopping him before he could join the others. I looked over my shoulder as our eyes met, and he let out a breath.

"She used to be part of our team. Riley replaced her."

"… And?" I asked, as I could sense there was more.

"And she and Mac dated … for two years."

"How'd it end?" I asked absently, looking back to the cupboard and clearing my throat. Jack cleared his too, considering whether or not to avoid the question entirely.

"It sort of … didn't." I turned to him suddenly with a glare. "Not like that. She was deep cover with the CIA, she had to disappear."

"Which left Angus in the dust."

"Come on now, you know Mac cares about you more than anyone, he-."

"It's all good Jack. I gotta put this engine together." I looked over at him again, a look mostly to explain that I needed a moment alone. He simply nodded to me and went to check the perimeter again.

I took off my tack gear, setting my ops weapon down (of course not leaving myself unarmed, don't be stupid). About half an hour in I was pretty dirty, you'd be surprised how oily you can get fixing an engine. I finished the fan belt and moved onto the water tank, but my serene quiet didn't last very long. "You want a hand?" I stopped dead with a deep breath, before leaning back into the engine.

"I'm nearly done. We'll be wheels up in 30."

"Not even to fill the tank?" I huffed and leaned back out, balancing on the stepladder as I looked down at him.

"As if you could use a gas pump." I said flatly.

"I'm sure I could work something out." He smirked.

"… How are you holding up?" I asked reluctantly.

"Come on Lol, you don't need to be like that. It's me." I glanced outside the hanger as I made my way down the steps. I walked up to him slowly, and wrapped my arms as tight as they would go around his neck when I reached him. The man was irresistible. He wrapped his good arm tightly around my waist, and dug his face into my neck. "That's better." He laughed heartily against my collarbone.

"I was really scared you were dead." I whispered.

"Given this reaction I'm glad I'm not." He joked, pulling away from me as I moved back to breathe.

"Looks like we didn't need to break protocol to get you after all though." I said, the lemon bitterness dripping from my words.

"Oh, now come on. Nikki just wanted to help, same as you."

"Same as me in more ways than one it seems." I said absently, turning back to the ladder.

"She's a friend."

"She's an ex."

"Sometimes people can be both." He said, abruptly ending the quick exchange.

"… It doesn't matter." I said, reaching the top of the ladder and screwing in the last bolt for the water tank. "Just gotta fill this and try the engine. You're right though we probably do need to fill up. Get Jack."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Switch off your emotions the second you're not next to me. Is it that hard to feel, for you?"

"Are you kidding?" I asked, looking round at him.

"Do you have a better explanation?" He retorted.

"How about we're in a war zone illegally and you are in no condition."

"I'm functioning just fine, thank you." He spat.

Within the hour we were off the runway, 'Nikki' taking care of Angus while Jack and I piloted. It was a small jet plane, but at least it had nice seats. "Where did you learn to fly?" He asked me, trying to relieve the tension.

"Nowhere special." I said absently.

"Have you ever given a straight answer to a question?" He laughed.

"… Sometimes there just isn't a good answer."

"Do you even remember?"

"… It's a lot of skills, a lot of places. The information, the languages, the people. They all start to blend together after a while."

"That's sad man." He said, shaking his head. "Someone as young as you? You shouldn't be talking like that."

"And you should? There's like a 10 year age gap between us."

"Yeah, yeah lets pretend that's true." He nodded.

When we got topside it was a relief. Angus was hauled off to hospital and the rest of us were straight into debrief. It felt likes hours in there before we were sat back in the war room. Matty stared the three of us down, silence veiled the room, and breathing was the loudest sound. "Mac is gonna be fine, _literally_ no thanks to you two." She said, staring Jack and I into oblivion. "Nikki, I never worked with you when you were here, but after everything that happened, I'd love to know how you were aware of Mac's whereabouts when even we weren't sure." She frowned.

"I have a friend in deep cover in Alekatz. He informed me, helped me get inside. You're not the only ones who want the mob out."

"The entire country does. Obviously." Matty said, which I must admit gave me distinct pleasure, to watch 'Nikki' being taken down a few pegs. "You're lucky things worked out as well as they did, Mac is in no state to go anywhere. If these idiots hadn't shown up and rigged a jet, you both would've been stranded there, and no doubt your ass would be on my line in the CIA's books." 'Nikki' glanced over to Jack and I.

"Yes ma'am. I'm glad they were there."

"You and Mac are the only ones." Matty said flatly, looking over to Jack and I. "You two are both lucky I don't disavow you for what you just did… All of you get out, I have to clear this up and speak to the CIA about how to move forward. Out." She repeated, and we didn't hesitate to leave. As we got to the door I think Matty had chosen a side, and she turned back to us just as we filed out. "Oh and Lola, get to medical, he's been asking for you." I glanced forward to 'Nikki' in front of me, who lost a little light in her eyes at that statement.

I went to get coffee while Angus slept, only to come back to my seat having been taken. I couldn't help but listen in on his hoarse voice, and hers. "So, I've really been replaced now, huh." She joked.

"It's not like that."

"I know it isn't. Guess you and I were just never supposed to work out."  
"I guess not." Angus said slowly.

"So, Lola? That's a pretty name, how'd you guys find her?"

"It's a long story actually. It was more …"

"Rekindling." I said, stepping inside. "Coffee?" I asked, gesturing towards them.

"I can't." Angus said, trying to lift his arm.

"I wasn't asking you." I said sarcastically, shaking my head. Nikki's eyes perked up and she took the Styrofoam cup from me.

"Thanks." She said, frowning.

"Angus spotted me in a coffee shop, and then he saved my life, and then I saved his, and we sort of just kept repeating the cycle in a more official capacity." I smiled, standing at the end of his bed.

"You just picked her out of a shop?" Nikki laughed.

"No uh, we went to high school together." He smiled. Nikki's mind seemed to piece something together, and she looked at me.

"You."

"Me?" I asked.

"You're the high school sweetheart. I thought you disappeared."

"Apparently a popular opinion." I joked. "It felt a little like that." I nodded.

"… Well, I'm glad you two found each other." Nikki smiled slightly, looking down as she fiddled with the lip on her coffee cup. "Anyway, I have to get back to my headquarters, detour missions aren't exactly on my to-do list, it's not just your debriefs I have to deal with." She joked, standing up. "It was nice to meet you, Lola."

"You too." I smiled slightly, hugging her as she wrapped as arm over my shoulder.

"Goodbye Mac." She said, waving to him as she left the room. I took her place in the chair beside his bed and be rolled his head over to me.

"Fine." I huffed. "She's not so bad." He smiled at me.


	14. Chapter 14: New Blood

Chapter 14: New Blood

It has been three weeks since … well, you're well aware. It's strange, Angus always asks me to open up to him, to tell me about the things I'm doing, how I'm feeling, what happened to me. I'm now on the receiving end of that frosty behaviour. He won't tell me what happened, or anything about what they did to him. I should've just left him alone but I didn't, eventually I stopped asking and I put my latest skills to the test. I figured, if I could hack the foundation maybe I would be ready to hack the real goal. I went into his debrief file, and I read everything that he told them, the medical files from his trip to the hospital. You could turn the lot of it into a horror movie I tell you. They began with the use of a cattle prod, and if you don't know what that is, don't look it up, the nightmares will haunt you. When he didn't tell them anything, they soaked him, and tried again. The water intensified the shocks, causing it to last longer.

This is just an example one of the things they did to him, and I don't wanna write it down anymore. I'm sure the person who had to type this up the first time still has nightmares. Angus is out for the foreseeable future, which is killing him. When Wilt and I got in this morning he was already video chatting with Riley about whatever case we're working on. "You're not gonna be any part of this mission Mac, that's what medical leave means." Matty said, taking a t-total none of his shit.

"Matty I can still help, if you would just let me come in."

"You sound like me." I laughed, slouching into one of the chairs in the war room.

"He does actually." Riley laughed.

"It doesn't matter anyway." She said dismissively, turning from the video chat and looking around the room. "Why are you here?" Matty asked me, as though the question were valid.

"What are you talking about?" I frowned.

"Marcus wants you downstairs all week. If we do have any ops you're been pulled already." Jack looked over at me and laughed. "I don't know what you're so proud of, you're leading tactical." Matty smirked, to which I grinned right back at Jack.

"Race you to the elevator." I winked. He thought about it for a moment before bolting out of the room.

He would have probably beaten me had I not launched myself onto his back. Comedically, Jack held me up and we made it to the elevator as one. We stood there in silence for a single floor before Jack decided to dig himself out of his hole. "You know, I actually don't mind recruitment week." He said absently.

"Is that why Matty was so happy to inform you of your involvement?" I laughed.

"Matty thinks she knows me better than she does."

"She has your file and she's worked with you for years. She knows you better than you do." He scoffed at that, and got off at his floor, waving goodbye with a smug smile.

I headed down to physical and met Marcus in the viewing room. "How's it, kid?" He smiled at me.

"Someone's been to Hawaii." I laughed.

"How could you tell?"

'The slang." I shrugged, turning to look through the glass.

"Well, I haven't been recently, but that's where I'm from."

"Interesting, I've never noticed it before."

"Let's pretend that's because you're more on your game for the recruits." He joked.

"This the lot of them?"

"First batch coming to us yeah. Five stages, five days."

"And these poor bastards have it first. They're already the unlucky ones. What have you got planned?"

"You'll see." He smirked, reaching his far side and grabbing a duffel bag.

"What's with the outfits?" I asked.

"Training gear." He shrugged.

"They look like Peter Hinwood from the Rocky Horror Picture Show."

"His pants were gold, how dare you." He said, though gave a smile as he handed me the duffel bag. I glanced down at it's contents before doing a double take.

"You are joking." I said flatly.

Now I look like Peter HInwood. I burst into the sparring room, duffel bag on shoulder and UC Pen jumper covering what it could. "Did I miss it?" I asked breathlessly. A few bewildering recruits shook their heads and I went to drop my bag at the side of the room. I stood between a slim terrified man and the only female recruit in the group, getting settled just in time for Marcus to come in. "Recruits, welcome. Relish that, it's as nice as I get." He said, checking something on his clipboard. "My name is Marcus, and I will be running your recruitment through today's physical." He said, walking up and down the line of us, sussing us out. "For security reasons I will not be sharing any information about this organisation, and for the same reasons, I'm sure you're already aware you mustn't share any personal information."

We got started with some basic moves, before Marcus basically told us to pair up throughout the hanger, and a few agents I'd seen around joined in the clipboard façade. I knew full well that Marcus was the only person actually taking notes, and the only one who bore any weight into the recruitment scoring process. Apart from me that is. I should explain. Marcus, as you may have already gathered, asked me to join the recruits as one of them, and assess their fight skills. He said that he wasn't willing to sign off on anyone who couldn't at least get me on the floor. And that's how we got here. I am currently sparring with recruit 7026823, an odd name, I know … that was a joke: FYI.

702683 is a burly young man who seems surprisingly kind. Those sort of guys who are lovely, and very much don't know their own strength. On that note, Marcus had told me to go relatively easy, without being weak. As the sparring sessions went on it became clear that they were ranking us. Regularly swapping clipboards and making us spar in certain orders.

After we broke for lunch we were brought back to the bunker, only to be presented with a boxing style ring laid out dead centre of the hall. "Hello recruits, who's ready to fight?" Marcus grinned into a hanging microphone. "Today we are doing FIGHT NIGHT! We have been ranking your performance all day, but now is the time to really show us what you're made of. The bottom two candidates will fight it to the floor. The winner will move on to fight the next recruit." He said, swinging the microphone away. Marcus came over to the side of the ring, shooting me a knowing glance. I could tell he was planning something cruel. I swore to myself in that moment that is he called my name first I would simply go up there and give him the beat down. Thankfully that did not occur, and as stereotype persist, the unlucky analyst having his physical training today had fallen quickly to the bottom of the list. 702683 (my kind friend) had fallen 2nd last in his fear of hurting others, and yet advanced. He would have to dhow some Angus level intellect to come out with a high enough score to stay though.

I assumed that this was the part of the day in which I was to be honest about my skills, so when of the 11 I was called 4th from the bottom, I was ready to stop taking beatings. Impressively 702683 had managed to remain in the ring, unfortunately that meant I was his first opponent. Marcus came up to us stood in the centre of the ring and smiled at us. "No holding back." He smiled at us, winking at me when he thought no one was watching. I nodded at him, and looking 702683 in the eye. We wore wraps, and for those who don't know, it doesn't help. It gives you the confidence to hit a friend harder, quite unfortunately for my friend here. "I'm sorry." I whispered. I could see how much he wanted this. But with one soft punch to my shoulder I grabbed his arm, bent it back over my shoulder and flipped him round. He landed shoulder first, dislocating on impact. One down.

I wanna say it took me a while, but it didn't. Before I knew it there were two recruits left. There was a tall and cocky blonde boy, who had been ruthless in practice, and a woman. I was excited to fight her, and to see the guy's face if she were called after him. Unfortunately she hit 2nd on the list, and joined me in the ring. My performance had started to freak people out, though some brave ones had managed to come back to watch. She fought well, and she'd studied my moves. She got me down on one knee, my arm ready to break, but my reflexes kicked in. I kicked her knee out and ripped her arm back. She landed on her back and I held her down, arm ready to dislocate. I didn't wanna hurt her though. I stopped and looked over at Marcus, who nodded. I let her go, and she stood up. We bowed our heads to each other, and I thought it was over. But she wasn't ready to go easy. She punched me square in the jaw, and I wasn't taking it. So I kicked her in the face. She crumpled to the floor and I turned away. "Mistake." I said flatly.

Then there he was. The epitome of smug idiots that you always wanted to hit in high school. He got into the ring and bounced around as though he was ready for me. "You ready for this?" He grinned at me, bumping knuckles as we moved round the ring. I glanced over at Marcus who just shook his head and walked away. He couldn't even be bothered to watch was I was gonna do to this straight up fool. Before he could get a single throw in, I twisted round and kicked him on the side of the head, knocking him to the side. He dropped to his knees and tried to steady himself, but before he had the chance I grabbed his head and brought it at full force towards my knee, meeting him half way. He knocked back and dropped to the floor. I bent down beside him. "You're not special, princess." I smirked, slapping his cheek lightly and standing up. A medic helped the guy down, and Marcus joined me and the rest of the recruits on the mats in front of the ring. "That was, abysmal." He said flatly. "But for some of you, I wasn't completely wrecked by your performances." He smirked, ticking something off on his clipboard. Man is so old school. "I will make a confession though. Your winning recruit, is no recruit."

"I knew it!" The analyst grinned.

"This is agent Williams. She is one of our best and brightest, working in an elite team. If you hold your own against her, you have a shot here. With that being said, 703313 (the woman) and 702683, you are both advancing. The rest of you, you better do something amazing."

Three days into recruitment week and Marcus is enjoying his little scenarios. Today he came in and let me just observe, as yesterday a kid came pretty close to taking my knee out. He advanced. But there's always that one. This time it was an older man, a mouthy one. He was the type who had made it pretty high up in his own organisation and just wanted something more impressive, but he didn't deserve a second of it. He kept shouting down the other recruits like Marcus might do if he'd had a few too many brain cells knocked out. This guy was a genuine waste of space; how he got here I don't know. I knocked on the glass and Marcus came to join me. "I want him." I said, staring him down through the one-way mirror. "Are you sure?"

"Completely." I said without hesitation. I followed Marcus out into the hall and he called the recruits over.

"796683, front and centre." Marcus called. The man came up to him, smirking.

"Finally a challenge." He smirked, squaring up to Marcus. I hung back, my arms crossed as I weighed up his weak spots.

"You can say that again." Marcus smirked.

"Great, so you gonna put the clipboard down or what?" Marcus bellowed a huge laugh.

"Oh, you're not fighting me. No, you're fighting her." He said, stepping aside. I made eye contact with 976683, and this time _he_ laughed. I couldn't _wait_ to put him in his place.

We went over to the central mat and he started bouncing around. "You sure you wanna do this, little girl?" I shook my head with a small smile. I twisted round to his side, kicking his knee in, before getting him in a chokehold from the back. "The thing about men like you is …" I began, choking him harder until he couldn't struggle. "That you're all bark and no bite. You will _never_ work for this organisation." He came close to elbowing me in the ribs, so I stomped on his ankle. "Stop struggling, or you'll never work at all." After a final moment of resistance he stopped, tapping out. When I let him go he dropped onto his chest and heaved breaths like he'd never felt the air in his lungs before. I looked over to Marcus. "Maybe a little brutal?" He asked. I looked around at the merry faces on the other recruits.

"You guys think so?" I asked. They remained silent. Fair enough I guess.

Recruitment week is finally over, and I have never felt my muscles so hard in my life. When I got back Friday night Angus was in the kitchen, up and walking around. "Are you sure you should be doing that?" I asked, dropping my bag and going to his side.

"I'm fine. Seriously. You have to stop treating me like your patient."

"Well that's clearly never gonna happen." I shrugged, grabbing a cherry from the box on the counter. I twirled round him, as he genuinely did seem ok, and hopped up onto the counter. "How are you feeling?"  
"Much better. How are you feeling? Your first recruitment week?"  
"Nothing more than what I went through to get here." I shrugged.

"Really? Cause I can see you when you change."

"My bruises are no worse than yours."

"That is not the level to hold them too." He laughed.

"What y'all giggling about?" Wilt asked, walking over from his room.

"Lol thinks as long as her bruises aren't worse than mine that it's not bad."

"You realise he was in the hospital, right?" Wilt asked me as though I wasn't getting the most simple of equations. I rolled my eyes.

"Lets not and say we did." I said, reaching into the pan to steal a piece of fish.

"Hey! You have no patience." Angus said, looking up at me with a smug frown.

"Never did." I smirked, eating the fish and leaning down to kiss him.

"Oh no, y'all just tell me when the food is ready, I ain't watching this." Wilt said, sticking his head in the fridge. I pulled away with a giggle.

"Mmm, sea bass." I grinned. Angus laughed at me, and everything felt … happy.


	15. Chapter 15: Believer

Chapter 15: Believer

"Oh my God. Angus! You have never given a massage before in your life, have you?" I laughed, slapping him off of me.

"No, but the science is simple enough. The body's pressure points aren't hard to find."

"A human and a motorcycle are not the same thing." I laughed, getting up on my knees and sitting over him, as he lay flat on his chest. "See." I said, pressing the muscle of my thumb up the lines of his spine, between his shoulder blades.

"Ok." He said hoarsely. "I get your point."

"Do you." I grinned, releasing his back and pressing myself against him. I pecked his shoulder onto his neck, chewing at his ear lobe. Angus let out a small moan before rolling over and pushing me off. I was thrown to the other side of the bed, only for Angus to sit up and lean over me. He brushed my hair back from my face and leaned in. "Move in with me."

"… What?" I asked, the glass entirely shattered. I slipped out from under him and stood up, pacing the room in nothing but his t-shirt. Angus sat up on his heels and frowned at me.

"Lol, you practically live here anyway. What's the worst it could do?" I was reacting very badly to this, and for good reason. There were a million and one things in my house that were in _my_ house for a reason, I did not want then seen or known about. "Angus, I can't." I frowned, running my fingers through my hair in panic. "My stuff wouldn't fit." I said honestly, staring him down. He bellowed a huge laugh as he threw his head back.

"That's what you're worried about? Your stuff not fitting in here?"

"What else would I worry about?"  
"I don't know, not wanting to live with me." He said honestly, his emotions showing. I stopped my pacing to bounce onto the bed in front of him, holding his face between my hands. "Like you said, I basically live with you already. What's so bad about just keeping it like this?"  
"Because this was only until you felt ready to go back to your place. And I feel so wrong not wanting you to ever be ready." He said, a little joke peeking through.

"So maybe I won't be." I shrugged. "Just don't make me move all my stuff here, ok? I'll keep the house for storage."

"That house costs $30 million, and you wanna use it for storage?"  
"Would you rather you and Wilt move in with me." He seemed to think about it for a moment, beginning with objection, until his mind began to wonder. Before I could hear these thoughts however, both our phones went off.

"Who texts at 1 o'clock in the morning?" I asked flatly.

"Only one person." Angus said, mirroring my tone. We both reached for our respective phones, glancing at the message before looking at each other. "You get Wilt, I'll drive." I said quickly.

The message read one thing and one thing only.

 _EMERGENCY_.

Angus and I scrambled to get ready, waking Wilt and strapping into the car. "I'm driving." I said flatly, grabbing his keys off the counter.

"Are we sure that's a good idea?" Wilt asked. In his half woken state, he still knew this was not a good idea.

"Any other time I'd agree with you Boze, but not tonight." Angus said, grabbing their jackets as he ushered Wilt out the door. The drive back to the foundation was quiet, everyone tense with the message. Evidently this was Wilt's first invite, and he had not taken induction as seriously as I. An emergency message meant a job that was so time sensitive we might not even make it to the base in time, so my driving was quite apt for the occasion.

When we did make it to the foundation Jack was already there, and Angus and I exchanged a look that wagered the suggestion he might never have left. "Don't sit down, you're not gonna be here long." Matty said, gesturing for people to follow us in. They brought in piles and piles of tactical gear, which we put on without a word as Matty explained the situation. "Governor Jamison went to the California Museum of Fine Arts fund raiser this evening supporting work from wards of the state. The event however was hijacked 26 minutes ago by an unknown group who have captured the guests and are holding them hostage. They haven't made any demands, but we don't have time to meet them. Angus, Lola and Jack are going in. You are to gage the situation, report back, and then create an action plan to get the governor and his wife out of the building safely."

"What about the other guests?" Angus asked.

"They aren't our priority." Matty said, though there was so distain in her voice – she clearly wasn't particularly happy about the situation.

We made entry though the roof, Angus having made a rope we could use to climb up with a garden hose and some pieces from the garden sprinkler system to latch between the stone balcony pillars. "That should do it." He said, a half-cocked smile matching his hurried confidence.

"Should?" Jack asked sceptically. I scoffed under my breath before tugging on the hose and hoisting myself up.

On the roof there was a hatch into the darkest, most horror movie attic you have ever seen. I really mean a total freak fest, old torture instruments (that were probably just broken pieces of furniture, maybe a weird chandelier), dolls, suitcases filled with God knows what, and an abundance of semi broken mirrors.

Angus found the hatch that lead into one of the guest bedrooms. From a peak it appeared empty, and Jack went down first. Just as he landed one of the hostage takers walked in, dragging some poor young female party go-er by her hair. They (Jack and the hostage taker) looked each other up and down a moment. The man threw the girl in the general direction of the bed, and he and Jack engaged. Jack dodged a fickle punch before landing a much more substantial one of his own. The man went for his heavy-duty assault rifle, but Jack grabbed it too, hitting the man with the butt of the fun before using the strap to strangle him. Angus dropped down and stopped Jack from actually killing the man, before going back over to the hatch for me. "Want a hand?" He whispered, a little smile in his eye.

"Since you're offering." I smirked. I dropped down the hatch, Angus' hands finding my waist and breaking my landing.

The man Jack dispatched appeared to be the only one of the top floor, according to our initial sweet. We made our way to the middle floor of the estate, going through room by room. We found nothing, as it appeared it was a singular idiot who had tried to have his way with an unwilling guest. Jack, Angus and I gathered in a back pantry way that gave us a clear view to the foyer, where the hostages were being held. "Alright, looks like that one's watching the hostages, and that one is the ring leader."

"Do we know anything about them, Riley?" Angus asked into his earpiece.

"Nothing. From what surveillance is picking up it sounds like the head honcho is a woman. She sounds like she's calling the shots."

"That's good Riley. Have you got any way to ID her?" Jack asked.

"ID her? Jack I can't even see her. Voice recognition is clearly not what you think it is." She scoffed.

"Matty said our priority was the governor and his wife." I began. Angus snapped his head round to look at me.

"We're not just leaving the rest of these people here." He said harshly.

"I'm not suggesting that, but neither was Matty. She said _priority_." I emphasised. Jack looked round at me slowly.

"She's right. We get the governor and his wife out first, then we get everyone else." Jack added, as though it weren't already clear.

"Right." I nodded. "Riley, can you tell anything about the location of the governor and his wife?"

"I … can. The governor wears a Tag Heuer watch that includes a very nice tracker. He's in the centre of the foyer." Jack peered round our corner again.

"He got grey hair?" Jack asked.

"Yes. But I would assume at a fine arts fund raiser you'd find a pretty high number of guys with grey hair." Riley said sarcastically.

"She's right."

"Relax, I can see him." Jack reassured us, as though it would help.

"We need a distraction." I said, looking round into the pantry.

"We need a little more darkness." Jack suggested.

"Riley, where's the fuse box?" Angus asked.

"It's down the hall behind you and to your right, probably in a cupboard. But it's not gonna be that easy. This house was tricked out for this party, charges to the charity include a bunch of electrical work to the fuses. You're gonna need a sledge hammer and a day to get in there."

"… Maybe not." Angus gave a little smirk before turning into the room, working through the shelves. I couldn't honesty tell you what he did; I always tried to listen to Angus when he went off on his science tests but, he tried to explain himself. I thought he was making a bomb, but he clarified. "It's not a bomb." He said quietly. "It's a small charge." He said, walking through the pantry to the back hallway of the house. He bent down, going through a few cupboards before finding the one he wanted. "Exactly what are you planning, boy wonder?" Jack asked sceptically.

"It's a directed charge, which should blow the reinforcements off the fuse box and get us inside." He shrugged, lighting the piece of tea towel he'd attached to the 'small charge'.

It went a little better than Angus had intended. The 'small charge' completely killed the lights, taking out the power from the fuse box and therefore the entire building. "What the hell man?" Jack asked in the sudden darkness.

"… It had the desired effect." Angus tried to shrug. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the pantry. The hostages were all screaming scared, the takers yelling at each other to find out what was going on. "Guys! It looks like there's a back up generator; you have about 2 minutes before the power comes back on."

"You're kidding." Jack said flatly. I took my chance, creeping out to the group and putting my hand over a woman close to the edge of the huddle. No one could see anything, but her black dress was simple and inconspicuous. I took her clothes from her, trading her for my trousers and shirt. It was a short period in a dark place. I crept back out into the crowd a moment before the lights came back up, and glanced over to Angus and Jack. They had been figuring out what in the pantry they could use against the hostage takers, but when I caught Angus' eye they both stopped moving. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked, worried. I couldn't say anything while the hostage takers frantically counted their hostages. Jack noticed the woman I'd traded with, and helped her get out through the window in the back hall. "Mac, they're gonna figure out where the fuse box is sooner rather than later, you need to move." Riley said into our ears.

"Lola's in the belly of the beast Riles, gives us a second." Jack spat.

"You can't help her if you're dead. Move." She said just as harshly.

I kept my head down in the crowd, inching myself closer to the governor at every chance I got. I watched as the hostage takers looked through a tablet, finding the fuse box on their plans. I was relieved when they found nothing, but the woman sent three of her men searching for the culprits of the obvious blast nonetheless. "Report!" Her tone rang harshly as two of the men came back. They snuck a glance at each other before one moved in to whisper in her ear. "You're who?" She yelled suddenly. It was the best moment, cinematic. The two of them ripped their balaclavas off, revealing two of my favourite faces in this world. Jack swung an immediate right hook at the first guy who came at him, and a true fight broke out. Angus gave me a look, glancing down at the governor before pulling out what looked like a potato gun and spraying all the hostage takers in reach with a foaming pale pink spray. I grabbed the governor and his wife by the biceps and hauled them out in the chaos, while the majority of the woman's gang were engulfed in quick drying cement. She however remained somewhat savvier, and in the commotion she slipped out, getting a shot off in our direction. I honestly thought she'd missed until I realised I was literally hauling dead weight. She had gotten a clear shot thought Mrs Governor's throat, straight through her carotid artery. She bled out as I dragged her across the floor. "No!" The governor yelled, turning past me and reaching for his wife. I pushed at his chest, forcing him out of the window near the blown fuse box, and into the arms of one of our very own capable agents. I was pretty annoyed though. She didn't aim for the mayor. A shot like that is purposeful, and personal. She wanted to kill his wife, and I wanted to know why. When I got back into the party she was gone, so I kicked off those crappy heels and retrieved my gun. I shot open the front door, allowing the other guests to run out into their own freedom, before going after the woman. I passed through the crowd with ease (probably due to the large automatic weapon) and made it to Jack just as he punched out another useless henchman. We made eye contact. "She went upstairs." He said flatly. "Back up?" I shook my head, raising my gun.

"She's mine."

I walked through the upstairs halls of the house, gun raised. I had to find that awful woman, we couldn't go anywhere without the leader. Not after what she did to the governor's wife. There was a dark corner, and I didn't check my blind spot fast enough. She was faster than I thought. She kicked my gun out of my hand and took me across the hall, both of us crashing to the floor. I twisted my torso and go my knee between us, kicking her thigh and pushing her off. I rolled up and looked around for my gun, but it was nowhere in sight. "Who are you?" She asked, getting up with a smile. I said nothing, waiting for her to make her move, giving herself away. "I see what you're doing." She smiled. "You're well trained. But not US government." ' _Keep thinking that_ ' came into my head, making me smirk at her. "I saw you ruin my men, you broke through them like they were nothing."

"You should hire better men." I said flatly.

"There are no better men, they're all inferior."

"Interesting perspective." I smirked.

"Have you ever thought about it? Contract work?" I smirked at her.

"Sounds like you don't have much of a boss."

"Sounds like that's from a woman who's been in the business."

"I work for the good guys." I corrected.

"And I work for the winning team." She scoffed, reaching a hand out to me. It took me a moment in the semi darkness to realise she was trying to hand me something. I smiled slightly, tired of waiting for her to make her move. I twisted, kicking whatever was in her hand, double pivoting and kicking her in the face with the other leg. She stumbled sideways before regaining herself and reacting. She came at me, her form almost perfect. I dodged her elbow and kicked her ankle out from under her, but she pivoted and switched her weight, turning from me and shifting her weight against me. I wasn't expecting the change, and staggered forward slightly. She used the moment to twist, kicking me in the back. Somehow, I admired her for it, because it's what I would've done. Somehow, she found my gun, and picked it up, bludgeoning me on my already weakened collarbone and then swivelling it between her fingers to point at me. I lifted my head as she pressed the barrel against my throat. "You were good." She smirked. "If you ever decide on a change of career." She smiled. "Find me." Then she disappeared after that. I don't know, I guess I should've followed her, but there was some sort of misguided respect she'd gained by beating me. That hadn't happened in a very long time.

After debrief Angus met me outside the locker room, smiling. "You look happy." I said flatly.

"You don't." He replied, rearing back.

"She shot the governor's wife." I said sadly as we walked out.

"I know, didn't you go after her?"

"… She was better than me Angus."

"Please." He scoffed.

"No, I'm serious. She beat me Angus, square in the throat, just like she killed the governor's wife."

"Seriously?" He frowned.

"I think she was the target Angus, seriously."

"Did you tell Matty?"

"Yeah. She said she would contact the CIA and look into it."

"Right, so nothing more to worry about."

"Right." I nodded.

"So, what do you want for dinner?"

"What?"

"It's like 8pm, you gotta eat sometime."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, while we talk about moving, you should eat something." He said, turning to me and smiling. I looked up at him, his smirk showing how pleased he was that he'd actually managed to catch my attention. I frowned at him slightly. "Angus, I really don't wanna talk about this tonight."

"… Ok." He nodded. "You still have to eat though."

"… Pasta." I shrugged, getting into the car.

"Pasta it is." He smiled.

I went to bed early tonight, and after about an hour of lying there pondering why that woman would've killed the governor's wife and left the governor. What could happen in the event of her death? Before I could think about it further Angus walked in, back in his PJ trousers and carrying hot chocolate. "Matty will find out what happened." He said, setting the drink down on my bedside table and sitting beside me. "She beat me, Angus." I frowned, sitting up in bed and rubbing my face. "She could've killed me and she didn't."

"What did she do?" He asked. I thought about it for a moment, looking at him. As much as I love Angus, I couldn't.

"She just walked away."

* * *

I'm really sorry I haven't been posting recently you guys - it's been a surprisingly hectic time.

I will get as much out as I can, but please keep reviewing cause it warms my heart to read them!

Yours,

Carynthian


	16. Chapter 16: Secret

Chapter 16: Secret

It's time to face the music. I have spent enough time now in post mission psych evaluations that I pretty much have the answers down pat. I know what they're going ask, how they're going to ask it, and how to manipulate the outcome. It wasn't hard to act a little more affected by the heist than a usual case, and the fact that she left me alive gave me all the leverage I needed. When I was called into Matty's office this morning, I knew exactly what she was going to say.

"You know what I'm about to tell you." She said flatly.

"I do."

"What you don't know, is that I've figured out your little game." I looked up at her, a little too much horror in my eyes.

"Lola, you are a great agent. I have only regretted adding you to this team a handful of times, so trust me when I tell you, I know why you failed."  
"I tried to kill her." I said flatly, which wasn't totally untrue.

"Not failed the mission. Failed the evaluation." Fuck.

"Matty, I-."

"Don't try it. You are too smart, and too compartmentalised to let that woman affect you like this."

"…" I tried to think of something to say, but until she showed her hand it seemed better to stay quiet. I wasn't going to be honest with her if I didn't have to be.

"You have your wish." She said flatly, leaning away and pacing the room. "As much as I know you're faking, I can't put a psychologically compromised agent in the field, no matter how much bullshit it is. So you have one week. I don't much care what reason you have for doing this, but I'm not a huge fan of anyone bar me who can manipulate this system, so whatever is going on, figure it out." I tried my best not to smile as I nodded at her and left the room.

One week was going to be tough, but it was by no means impossible.

I breathed in the dust my feet kicked up as trekked the rest of the way up the mountain. If you were going to hide anywhere, this was a good choice. Though of course a four-story mansion was a better place to hide out than most. This isn't his primary abode, but I'm sure it suited him well while he figured out how to deal with me. He didn't know who I was, but he knew why I was coming. Most importantly, and the reason I left the car 40 clicks away, is that he knew I was coming. Period.

When I made it up the mountain I slipped through a basement window. A small space I grant you, but people always forget to lock their basements. Mr Gutierrez was no exception to this pitiful rule. I slinked through the house, checking and clearing each room before I found him. It was like a game of Cluedo, he was in the study. I thought it would be a little bit more like an old mystery flick. He was sat on an iMac, and there was something particularly underwhelming about that. I lurked in the shadow of a bookcase, watching him. I had hoped he would be waiting for me, maybe with some elaborate trap or a knife. Mr Gutierrez had been working in the black market for years. The man can sell anything, and similarly, he's quite good at finding things. Were it not for my current need to kill him he might have been quite useful. I screwed on my silencer, I think more for dramatic effect than anything, and I looked back to him. "I may me getting older, but I wouldn't miss that sound." He said quietly. "Se porqué estás aqui."

"Aún así no huyes."

"No ganaré contra ti."

"Sabías que venía, podrías haberlo intentado."

"Lo hice. Vine aquí."

"Your family home? An interesting place to run."

"… I would rather die here."

"I'm not here to give you what you want."

"Estás aqui para matarme."

"I am."

"I assume, that there is nothing I can give you to change your mind."

"You'd be right."

"¿Y si retiro el contrato?"

"You wouldn't do that. He's taken too much from you."

"How long have you spent looking for me?"

"Longer than I'll admit. You did well to hide for as long as you did."

"Not against you." There was a strange pleasure in his voice. He was proud; I think to be killed by someone he considered a match. "It will not end here."

"Yes. It will."

"The contract will still be up. If you do not fulfil it in a year it will go to someone else."

"I'll take it down." I said simply, my voice still calm and level.

"You can't get into my computer."

"I already did."

"… You really thought of everything."

"You've done well with your life Mr. Gutierrez. Why squander it like this?"

"He will die. One way or another."

"Yes." I shrugged. "When he is good and ready." I raised my gun, shooting him right between the eyes without a second thought. There was minimal blood spatter; I think the most noticeable thing was the hole in his head. It was such a clean and tidy wound, it would be fairly easy to fill and hide at the funeral.

I considered hiding the body making some sort of effort to make it look like an accident, or maybe just set the place ablaze. I won't lie, I would quite like to watch it burn. The piles of history and goods worth a million men's riches … I could destroy it all. But I walked away. There was no trace of me here, and I was perfectly happy to let everyone know he had been killed, a man like that wouldn't be missed.

Right?

I made it back in time for work the following Monday, and everyone looked at me differently. "What is with her?" Jack asked Angus as I followed them inside.

"Your guess is as good as mine. She's been like this since I picked her up from the airport."

"You two are so melodramatic." I said, rolling my eyes and flopping down on a chair.

"You are a stoic, angry, business woman. I don't think I've ever seen you ... _glow_ like this." Jack said sourly.

"And what is so very wrong with it?" I asked.

"Nothing!" Wilt grinned, pointing at me. "I parked up out front. Can I drive home too?" He asked, his excessive smile unwavering.

"Sure." I shrugged, handing the keys back to him.

"No way. You let him drive the Jag?" Jack frowned.

"She did." Angus said, his arms folded as he turned to Jack. "Yet she won't tell me what's got her in such a ... happy place."

"It's you." I smiled, reaching up for him.

"Are you on something?" He asked with a frown. I huffed and stood up.

"I am feeling particularly free and light hearted today. Would you just enjoy it with me?"

"Not really the vibe I was going for." Matty said, walking in brusquely and pulling our case up on the screen. "Riley?"


	17. Chapter 17: Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

Chapter 17: Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

"When Riley said 'old school', and we all joked about James Bond, it didn't occur to me that you were James and that bitch now shooting at us was Miranda Frost!" I yelled at Angus.

"This is nothing like Die Another Day." He yelled in as flat a tone as he could manage. We made a run for the 18th century wardrobe across the room and just about made it with our spines intact.

"You're right. We might actually die today." I said, glaring at him.  
"I thought she was the target." He said, trying to look at me.

"She was your target." I scoffed, raising an eyebrow as I reloaded.

"You're jealous? Seriously?"

"I'm just saying, bar myself, you tend to have terrible taste in women." I shrugged. I took a moment to glance around the side of the wardrobe, met only with heavy gunfire from behind the bespoke embroidered sofa across the room.

"I'm honestly not gonna disagree with you there." Angus said. I turned to shoot at her again, but it was a very large sofa.

"I'm almost out." I said, glancing in my half loaded clip.

"What? You just reloaded."

"This is the one that jammed earlier."

"Shit. Alright um, gimme a minute." Angus said, looking around the room. We were trapped in a corner, we had nowhere to go, unless we were planning to jump out the window. Before I could laugh at the concept in my mind, Angus looked at me. His expression told me everything, the slightly raised brows, the way they furrowed in the centre. The way his half-cocked smile had weakened into a small grimace. At the thought of jumping out of the window. "No." I said flatly.

"You got a better idea?"  
"Kill her." He huffed, pursing his lips and frowning at me. "I am not risking fairly certain death because you hate guns." I yelled over another round of firing at us.

"Well this closet isn't gonna hold much longer." Angus said, taking a breath to think of other options. Suddenly there was fresh gunfire, from a handgun, not the machinery she had. We were free of our heavy fire lock-down, and Angus and I looked at each other. We couldn't figure out what happened until we heard a voice. "I'm James bitch, don't ever forget it. Woo!" It was Jack. Because of course it was Jack. Angus and I looked at each other before coming out from behind the wardrobe. "And exactly what are you gonna tell Matty?" Angus scolded him.

"What? She wasn't the target."

"Yeah, where is the good doctor?"

"She's in custody, I took care of her already." Jack smirked, popping his shirt.

"Where would we be without you?" I smiled, pecking Jack on the cheek as I stole his spare mag.

"We still gotta get out of here." Angus said flatly, stepping away from the woman's body.

"Right." I nodded, turning to the door. Jack came up beside me, poising his gun as he checked round the door.

"Don't think I didn't notice that." He said softly, smirking a little.

* * *

"I mean, I'm just saying that, you guys definitely would've died without me." Jack said, his smug expression filling the car on the way to the foundation.

"We get it Jack, you did great." Angus said, patting his shoulder from the passenger seat.

"I'm not asking you if I did great, man I know I'm awesome." He scoffed. "I'm asking if you think Matty would give me a raise."

"I think she would." I grinned, leaning forward from the back seat. "And please let me be there when you ask her." Angus turned round and glared at me.

"Don't encourage him." I laughed lightly and flopped back into my seat. Before Jack or I could counter, Angus got a call from Matty.

"Morning Matty." He said, glaring at me through the rear view mirror. "… No I understand. Yeah we'll head straight there… Of course… Ok, bye." Angus pulled the phone from his ear with a huff, ending the call and looking over at Jack. "Turn around, head back into town." He said with a frown.

"Why?" Jack asked.

"We're going to the governor's office. He's been robbed."

"We're working a robbery?" I asked, surprised at something so menial.

"A heist. Of $60 million in diamonds."

"… What the hell is the governor into?" Jack frowned, using the upcoming roundabout for a U-turn and stepping on the gas.

"That wasn't just money stolen. I trusted Lachlan Simons. I was chairman of the famine aid committed. That $60 million was raised through my name, my friends and my reputation, and stolen by the man I hired. These people are dying today. That money could've saved countless lies and Lachlan stole it for his own greed."

"Why was it in diamonds, Governor?" Matty asked, clearly unimpressed.

"It was to drive up interest among the crowd that could. Hand over some cash, a bank transfer, it means nothing to them. But bring your weight in diamonds and it's a competition. Simons came up with it, and to his credit, it worked."

"It did, a little too well maybe." Angus frowned. Matty looked at him, and they exchanged a glance before she quickly wrapped up the conversation.

"Governor, we'll do everything we can to track the diamonds."

When we all got outside Matty looked to Riley to give us the real story. "I was able to track Simons to the Virgin Islands, but it's gonna take some time before I have anything more."

"How much can you do on a plane?"

"What?" Riley frowned.

"We don't have time to go back to the office. This idiot is on the run and this is first priority. You're all on the jet today. Riley you're running field operations from the plane. Mac, Jack and Lola, you guys will find me Simons and bring those diamonds back safe." We all nodded, a silent car ride ahead to the airport.

The plane ride was pretty quiet, Angus played chess with himself for a while, but since Jack was sleeping and Riley was researching, I went to bother him. "Why did you date me in high school?" I asked, flopping down beside him with a smile. He scoffed lightly and looked over at me.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because we didn't know each other. It was always you and Wilt."

"And you and Marissa and her girl squad."

"Marissa was not my friend."

"Did you decide that before or after she told the whole school you tried to seduce her?"

"Before."

"When was it then?"  
"When she rejected my seduction." I shrugged, the devil's glint in my eye.

"That was true?" Angus laughed, sitting up and looking at me.

"It's an odd lie." I considered. "And for the record, you haven't answered my question." He shook his head in reminiscence and sat back, looking at the empty seats across from us.

"I guess, it was that one day after school. You remember you found Bozer and I in the science room?" I couldn't help but smile to myself.

"I do."

"You picked the lock to the closet and hid us in there when the teacher came round to kick us out. We stayed all night, thanks to you."

"And did you ever get the laser array finished?" I laughed.

"Um, yes. Kind of, it didn't last very long."

"Why not?"

"We tried to take it home on Bozer's bike and it fell off the back. Whether it worked or not I don't know, we couldn't exactly cut up the walls of the school."

"As much as you would have been heroes for it." I laughed. "… So, what about now?" I asked, suddenly timid and afraid of the answer. Angus and I never exactly decided what this was, which works for me. And yet, I ask anyway. "Now, I have you back." He said, taking my hand. We looked at each other for a moment, I think mostly since I wasn't sure what to tell him. That was more than enough for me. "Hey guys!" Riley called.

We joined Riley at her table on the plane, Jack slumping down beside her as Angus and I fit in across them. "What cha got Riles?" Jack smiled.

"Looks like Simons was communicating with a James Caledon. I did a little digging, and this guy is baddest of bad news. He lives on the US Virgin Islands, and according to intel he keeps his own private army around. Back before he turned comic book villain he was a miner, who enlisted, gained a lot of high value skills, and then was dishonourably discharged."

"What for?"

"Violent misconduct." Riley frowned, glancing over her screen at us. "By the looks of it he then became a mercenary, building up his ranks, working all over the world, Asia, Columbia, Libya, Angola. Moved to the Virgin Islands about 5 years ago, and bought a hotel and casino with a bad attitude and a big bank account."

"Shouldn't a guy like that be on some kind of watch list?" Jack asked.

"He should, but he's not. From what I can tell, he's very good at looking legit. How are we gonna get the diamonds back from a guy like that?"

"… What if we just walk in, and take them?" Angus asked.

Once off the plane we set up base inside Caledon's hotel, Riley setting up her station while Jack cleaned his guns, and I questioned Angus on his actual plan. "We fake it." He shrugged, biting into out of the complimentary apples from the much too shiny glass bowl on the table. "What?" I laughed.

"Haven't you learnt not to question the man?" Jack asked me flatly.

"We are talking about at least 200lbs of diamonds." I huffed.

"Exactly. Where are you gonna keep all that?" Angus asked.

"Well, Caledon seems like a pretty paranoid guy, from what I can tell, I don't think he'd let even his own men guard this." Jack said, thinking aloud.

"You're probably right." Riley began. "I looked into the plans for this place, there's one big ass safe below the casino."

"He wouldn't keep it there, too many people have access." Jack interjected.

"There's another in his private suite. Right here in the hotel." Riley smirked.

"Then that's where I'll start. Take a look inside the casino vault." Angus nodded.

"Why? He wouldn't keep them there." Jack pushed.

"No." I nodded. "But it's probably the same layout and finish as the one in his suite. All I have to do is win big in the casino, get them to store my money in their vault. They'll invite me inside and I can take a look around."

Angus got dressed up in a suit, and I put on a nice dress. "You look like James Bond." I smiled, smoothing out the back of his jacket.

"Hey! We agreed I was James." Jack interjected.

"No we didn't." Angus and I said together, our flat tones complimenting our disagreement.

When we got down to the casino I went to find out what I could about the collection desk, and Angus went into the casino. As much attention as I paid to the desk, I liked to watch Angus work. He looked over the crabs table, before the crowd around him became engrossed with a young waitress who had been walked into by a woman. The woman started yelling at her over her unacceptable service, to which Angus piped up on comms. "That's a good enough distraction for me." Angus smirked, opening has jacket and pulling out the bottom line stitching. He got a paperclip from his pocket and tied a knot in the end of the thread, opening the end of the paperclip slightly and pulling the knot tight. When the woman was done berating the waitress, the girl walked away, the woman still wiping her dress. Angus hooked the pulled end of the paperclip into the zip at the top of her dress, and dropped the rest of the thread. Stepping on the long end as she walked away, the zipper pulled down and her red silk dress slipped right off her in the middle of the casino floor. She freaked out, screaming at people for looking, gathering her dress and running from the room. In the commotion Angus turned to the crabs table and stole the dice. "No biometrics on the out doors to the safe, but this is definitely the primary entry point." I said, stepping away from the desk and walking into the casino floor.

"I'll be back." Angus said, taking a moment to lock eyes with me as he made his way to the bathroom. "You didn't even do the accent?" Jack frowned. I laughed lightly and sat down at a black jack table across from the main crabs table.

"What are you doing Angus?"

"I am using the nail file on my Swiss army knife to file down the side of these die." He said, us all able to hear the filing in the background.

When Angus came back out he slipped the die onto the side of the table by the dealer, before switching to his other side and asking for the next hand. When we rolled, it came out a perfect 7. "Winner, 7. Front line winner. Any crab, bets in. Any crabs, winner 7."

"Again." Angus said, raising the die and throwing down the table. He of course rolled another 7, and the continued this cycle for a while. That sweet waitress from before came over and handed him a bloody Mary. He thanked her with a $10,000 chip on her tray and she left. "Guys, there's a woman, lilac dress approaching Mac, she has been seen with Caledon a lot, looks like she's his right hand woman."

"Got it." Angus said, taking a sip of the drink.

"Hi." She said, slipping between Angus and the people next to him, drawing his attention. "I'm Tiffany."

"Don't tell her your real name Angus." I said quietly. I had a sneaking suspicion it wasn't a good idea.

"I'm Andrew, Dalton." Angus said, thinking on his feet.

"Thanks for throwing me under the bus there." Jack said flatly, sipping his drink at the bar. Angus threw again, the same 7 coming up each time.

"Guys, Caledon's on the move, headed to you Mac." Riley said.

"Then I'm gonna need a spare set of die." Angus whispered.

"Coming right up." I said, moving across the floor. I bumped into a man playing crabs at another table, for which he was about to throw. He dropped the die, and the dealer brought out a fresh set. Before I could get to the ones on the floor a waitress picked them up, but at least I knew where to get them. I slipped over to the dealer on Angus' table, picking his pocket and unboxing a fresh pair of die. I walked round the table slowly, blending in with the crowd Angus had gathered. I slipped them into his pocket, and walked away. Caledon came to the head of the table by the dealer, looking over at Angus. "Again." Angus said, reaching out for his fixed die on the tablet.

"I'm sorry sir, that's over our limit." The dealer said.

"Jheeze Mac, how many times did you role?" Riley asked sarcastically.

"I lost count." He whispered, having to offer an awkward smile to Tiffany as he turned to look at Caledon. They stared each other down for a minute, a long one.

"Let it ride." Caledon said, the crowd gathered around the table cheering. Angus smiled at him. "Good luck." Caledon said as Angus twirled the die in his hand.

"Somehow I know you mean that." Angus smirked, rolling again. After he hit it again, he pulled the spare die from his pocket.

"Would you like to go again? For the entire $10 million?"

"Lucky die." Angus replied, picking up the fixed ones and carefully switching them with the regular he'd slipped up his jacket sleeve.

"Let's see how lucky you really are."

"You know, I don't think I wanna push my luck." Angus said, dropping the clean die on the table and slipping the fixed ones into his bloody Mary. Caledon took the regular die from the tablet and handed them to the dealer.

"Excuse me, I'm gonna have to ask a favour." Angus said, staring Caledon down.

"I'm gonna feel a little awkward walking around with all of _your_ money in my pockets. I assume the casino has a vault?" After a moment Caledon nodded and took Angus to the vault.

When they came out again, Caledon walked Angus to the crabs table, it now having been closed in their absence. I sat at a slots machine in the nearby corner, trying to listen in better than what his com would pick up. "Mr MacGyver, these die, are perfect, which is why we noticed, you'd forgotten your drink." The waitress from earlier came over, and Caledon tipped out the remaining contents of the glass, Angus' fixed die among the liquid and small slices of celery. "7. The hard way." Caledon said, raising the die to his eye line. I sat up, slipping my hand in the slit up my thigh, ready for what might come. "I'd like you to accompany these gentlemen to my office. It's a little more private." He said, turning to his men. "Take him up."

"Time to make a move darlin, you're closer than I am." Jack said, directing it to me. I knew an all out war would be a terrible idea in the open like this, so I played the weak woman card. Angus said nothing as they lead him out of the room. I crossed the floor quickly, turned away from the men as I crashed into them and pulled them down with me. "You idiots!" I called. Angus jumped the group; I'm sure giving me a smile as he ran off. Caledon and his men went after Angus.

The rest of us couldn't be sure what was going on, until Angus started talking again. "Guys, I'm kinda pinned down here." He said.

"Where are you man?" Jack asked, springing up from the bar in my peripheral vision.

"Ha, I'm uh, pinned behind a portable bar, downstairs in the kitchens."

"On my way, _Dalton_." Jack said, unable to quit it with the acid while Angus got shot to pieces. I swear to the Lord in heaven if anything happens to him… Caledon won't stand a chance. "Mac I ain't gonna get to you in time, gotta do your thing."

"Got it." Angus said, followed by a metal clattering and some high pressured pumping. I headed out the emergency exit, opening the door only far enough for myself, not far enough to trip the alarm. I went out to the valet and stole a beautiful 1978 McLaren, pulling round to the side of the casino.

"What exactly is your thing this time?" I asked, pulling the car into the curb and turning off the headlights.

"This time it was breaking the caps of the high pressure nitrogen cooling tanks in the bar."

"My man." I was physically able to hear his smirk.

"Guys I'm out the south exit, get out of there." I said quickly.

A minute later both boys burst out of the south entrance and jumped into the convertible, and I sped off. "The diamonds aren't in the casino safe, but I got a good look at the locking mechanism." Angus said, looking over at me.

This morning I got up before anyone else, wanting to enjoy the time on the Virgin Islands. I went downstairs to the pool and swam lengths, knowing everyone else would be ready to work around 7, so I had time. When I hit 100 I bobbed my head out of the pool, and saw Angus. "Good morning." He smiled, handing me a cup of coffee as I sat up on the side. He dipped his feet in beside me, and drank from his own cup. "Good morning." I replied.

"I was thinking, maybe we should find a new place."

"What are you talking about?"  
"I mean you, me, and Bozer cause, of course. We should find a new house."

"What's wrong with your house?"  
"The same thing you said, there's not enough space for all your stuff."

"So your solution is to get a bigger house?"

"What's yours?" He retorted, clearly offended. My mind flashed back to my time off, and I turned to look at him, leaving my wet legs on his dry shorts. "Then lets find a house."

"Yeah?" He smiled.

"Yeah, and in the meantime, when we get back, you should come stay at mine."

"You think you're ready to go back there?"

"I am. With you." He smiled at me, leaning over for a kiss. His lips were soft as ever, cupping my bottom one as his hand slipped over my cheek.

"Hey, love birds. There is work to do you know." We pulled apart suddenly as Jack came out of the hotel like a storm, interrupting the short time we had like this.

Back up in the hotel room Riley was in full analyst mode. She'd put it all together. "Right you guys, this is Caledon's suite, the diamonds are there.  
"While I was at the desk last night I got talking to one of the security guards. We don't really need to worry about Caledon because he spends all his time on the casino floor, he likes parting rich players from their money, knowing full well he'll win." I explained.

"That's messed up." Jack said flatly.

"However, there are first rate cameras and an alarm system that doesn't just cover the vault, but the entire suite." I finished.

"So once we're in the suite we don't need to worry about the vault?" Jack asked.

"No, I saw the tech on the one in the casino, he's using DNA biometrics for access." Angus explained, going over to the photo Riley had flipped to of the vault schematics.

"DNA?" Jack asked. "Well that's perfect, all we gotta do is knock him one, I'm down."

"Jack its not that simple. DNA is only in your white blood cells, and since we have fewer of those than red ones, it won't be picked up by the reader." Riley explained.

"Where did you learn that?" I asked.

"Hitting him was my first thought too." Riley shrugged. "Even if you can get to the vault, and we can figure out how to get inside, there's over 200lbs of diamonds in there. How are you gonna get them out?"

"Well, the way I was thinking … actually might still work." Angus smiled, looking at me. I knew I wouldn't like it. "It's loud though, it's public. I'm gonna need a pretty big distraction."

"Like what?" Jack asked.

"Nothing short of a small riot." Angus huffed.

"You wanna start a riot in Caledon's casino?" Riley frowned.

"You can't go back in there." I supported.

"No I won't. You will." Angus smiled.

We spent the day planning, and when it was finally time, Jack came back in with a security guard style suit for himself, a maintenance worker suit for Angus, and the dress I was to wear. Once we were dressed Angus found probably one of the last remaining wired phones and unscrewed the microphone, pulling out the main section. He slipped a small disk from the bulk of the section, before putting it all back together. "Make sure you get this as close to the roulette table as possible." He said, handing it to me. I thought about it for a second, before slipping it in my shoe. They could pat it down anywhere else. Then he walked over to my dresser and took my lovely pearl ring, and clipped the pearl out. "Hey." I frowned. "You better fix that."

"I'll get you a new one." He smirked, using his nail file to push out the edges of the clasp. He took my hand, turning the clasp inwards and pressing on it.

"I think I have enough weapons." I shrugged.

"It's not a weapon." He smiled, taking a card from the pack on the dresser. He stuck it on the clasp edge.

"I use it to accuse them of cheating. Nice." I smiled.

"Yeah. Then do the roulette, then the slots. Just make sure it all comes together at 2:10."

"2:10. Got it." I nodded. He turned to leave my room, and I grabbed his arm. "Hey Angus?"

"Yeah?" He smiled.

"Thank you, for saving my life."

"Which time?" He laughed.

"Every time. For getting me this job. I would've grown old and grey at Tesla and never loved it entirely. This means a lot to me. So thank you." He thought about it for a moment, pursing his lips at his choice of reactions. He came back up to me suddenly, slipping a hand onto my cheek and kissing me ferociously. "I am in love with you." He said sternly. "Every second we have together is for the better." He waited for me to nod in agreement, and we went to meet the others.

I listened as Angus went into the maintenance room and wired the lights and slot machines to go haywire at 2:10. I listened as Riley disabled the security cameras and Angus made his way into the suit, all the while, I sat myself at the roulette table. Caledon came onto the floor right on schedule, and went straight for the bar where Jack was waiting for him. He befriended him, complimenting the casino and offering to buy him a drink. Little did Caledon know it was spiked, and would leave quite the taste in his mouth. Drink in hand he made a round of the tables and eventually locked eyes with me. He crossed the room and leaned over my chair, invading my space like the arrogant bastard he is. "Good evening, is there anything you need?" He asked, trying to be seductive.

"I could use some luck, right about now." I said, giving him the side eye.

"Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen place your bets." The dealer said. Caledon leaned over me once again, fiddling with my chips. Though my eyebrow automatically raised, he noticed nothing, and I leaned my leg over to the roulette wheel. "10 black. The lady wins." The dealer said, handing me my chips.

"Seems your luck is changing." Caledon smiled, trying to look deep into my eyes.

"Hey Caledon, maybe I could use some of that luck. I've lost $50 grand here tonight."

"It appears the luck is with the lady tonight." Caledon smiled, in the same sweetened sadistic tone he used with me.

"Guys, there's a set of light lasers up here, just past the door, anything you can do Riley?" Angus asked. I was glad he was talking, at least this way I knew what was going on.

"Sorry Mac, those sensors aren't hooked up, hell if they can be tripped they probably don't even have a cover on them."

"Now that's something I can use." I wondered what he was doing. What clever thing he was cooking up with that wonderful brain of his. After another round a security guard came up to Caledon and spoke to him in hushed tones. "Mr Caledon, the motion alarm has been tripped in your suite." It felt like freezing water powering through my veins at 100 miles per hour, I needed to talk to Angus. "Excuse me." Caledon said, touching my arms with a little too much force. He was used to getting his way with women I assumed. Once he was gone I turned to my com. "Angus, tell me that's not you." I heard a scoff down the line, but no genuine communication.

Once Caledon was gone Jack went to help Angus out in the suite. Though it seemed more like he was there to give Riley and I a play by play. Jack explained that Angus had listened to Caledon spit in the sink, and went to collect the sample to open the safe. Meanwhile I only had about 20 minutes to get things going down here, so sat at the roulette wheel I moved my foot away from the table. What do you know, the man who had been complaining before about how I was the only one with luck, finally got his win. This was the moment. I moved my foot over to the tablet, the ball jumping from the slot and rolling round the wheel again. "Did you see that? Did you see that? No wonder I've been losing tonight." He yelled, going for the dealer.

"Excuse me sir, please calm down." The dealer said, beckoning security over.

"Let go of me." The man said. This was my chance to hit the lot, so I slipped from the table and made my mess of the joint. Angus and Jack had made it into the safe with Caledon's forced spit, and were unloading the diamonds. "Man, we're just not gonna get away with all this fast enough to get back to the cars."

"You're right…" Angus said, slight irritation in his tone. "Grab me a piece of that lamp over there." I couldn't image what he was doing, Jack mumbled something about it being the space of a giant spoon, and I wondered no further. I sat at the lead blackjack table, taking my cards and marking them with my ruined ring. I turned to the man beside me, someone sweating so hard he'd clearly been losing money he didn't have all night. "Excuse me sir, but I feel like there's something wrong with this card." I said, handing it to him.

"You're right!" He exclaimed, standing up suddenly. "We've been had."

"This whole place is a scam." I joined, getting up with him.

"I want my money back!" He yelled. "Every dime of it." I slipped from him as security came to deal with him too, but the motion was already in play. The man from roulette had started a fight, knocking over out of the tables as he fought off the maître d and security. As the fight broke up I slipped the magnet into an empty compact and pressed it to the back of one of the slot machines against it's hinges, close enough to make a mess. When the machines and lights went crazy the whole place started screaming, no one could see, money spilling onto the ground, and I got the hell out.

I made it back to the cars just in time to get the piping down into the boot of Angus's car, where all the diamonds fell in right on time. I was born and bred diversion on this mission, driving through Caledon and his men as they realised what I'd done and chased me out. I lead them away as best I could, and Angus and Jack got away with the diamonds in their boot. My Aston Martin was no match for their inability to even get in cars. I was already gone, but for safety I still ditched the car and traded it for a pick up back to the hotel. The boys made it back before me, and we all packed up and left. Matty had arranged a freighter to take us back, and we strapped in, the car and diamonds included.

After debrief I went to the training lockers, finding the one I'd stashed my house keys in. It was as smart as smart houses might get, but buttons can't all be on an iPhone. I went to get Angus outside debrief, and he smiled when he saw me waiting. "What brings you to my neck of the woods?" He grinned.

"The prospect of bringing you to mine." I said, holding up the flat pack key.

"Right. We uh, gotta get a lift back to mine with Jack, I'll grab a few things and then we'll head to yours?"

"Yeah, sounds good." I smiled.

Back at Angus' place he packed a bag, but we didn't get out without Wilt noticing. "Where are you guys going?" He asked, almost looking like a lost puppy.

"I'm gonna stay at Lola's for a few days. Is that cool?" Angus asked hesitantly.

"What? You mean I get this place to myself?" Wilt asked. His entire demeanour had changed. He was pleased with the concept, grinning and twirling when Angus and I nodded. "Awesome!" He yelled, moon walking back into the kitchen. He stopped dead after a moment of being watched with suspicion. "I mean… Have a great time?" I laughed lightly and pulled on Angus' arm, and we left.

It was really strange walking back in there again, I thought I was ready but … well I think I was. But I'm not sure what I expected. It didn't feel like a home, not that it really ever did. It's a particularly expensive rental, and most of my stuff is in the basement storage. Angus and I picked up a few groceries on the way home, and made veggie meat stuffed peppers, which were delicious. Then we sat and watched the sunset on the sofas outside, pulling the footstools round so it made a big bed. 'This place is amazing, the kind of thing you see in movies." Angus smiled, glancing around at the house.

"I'm pretty sure they've shot a couple things here if I'm honest." I shrugged. "It's an incredibly privileged experience, not having to worry about money."

"How would you know?" Angus laughed.

"Because I have never had to worry about money." I scoffed. "There are only so many charities I can donate to, so many hospitals I can help. Money only helps a little piece of the insomnia."

"Money keeps you up at night?"

"Not doing the right thing keeps me up at night. Guilt keeps me up at night."

"I've never noticed you up."

"I haven't felt all that guilty working with you. At least I know I'm doing something good, for a country that has … well at least some good in it." I joked. Angus laughed with me, and slid to the edge of the cushions to meet me.

"What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"Normally I'd train. I turned one of the spare rooms into a training room, another into a gym, and when it's warm I come out here. Exercise, training, learning, it all helps me forget some of the more awful things I've done, the ones I can't shake."

"You can't have done anything that bad." Angus scoffed. I looked over at him, meeting his eye. _You'd be surprised. Actually … you'd be mortified._ I thought. I smiled at him, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"You're right. I'm a saint." I joked.

* * *

Hi Everyone!

Looks like if I'm gonna get this all finished before the new season I'm gonna need to get a move on!

Bear with me on this one, disclaimer: I was adapting from an episode from the original series, and trying to update it took a LONG TIME so I hope you like (though of course if you don't I won't hold it against you).

Please please comment, review, message me personally. I am invested in this and I really wanna hear your feedback. I think I may have mentioned before (but maybe not) that this is my first fan fiction, and I really wanna get some constructive criticism (and you know, the odd compliment ;) ) So anything you wanna say tell me!

Would be much appreciated.

Anyway, see you guys soon!

Your Carynthian


	18. Chapter 18: Avalanche

Chapter 18: Avalanche

"What about this one?" Angus said, sitting his tablet on top of mine.  
"Am I insane for wanting something like this place but just with more rooms?" I asked, looking through the photos of the house he'd found. It wasn't horrible, it was quite nice actually. But I've always liked this clean open plan beautiful place, this view I have over-looking Los Angeles, there's something calming about it that I just … I'm not ready to get rid of.

It was a different feeling this morning, riding into the office without Bozer. Angus and I had the radio turned up, and we were singing along to some really great songs. The sun was shining over Los Angeles, everything seemed so perfect until we hit traffic. Even then we weren't phased, we were in our own euphoric little universe, living a dangerous life, yes. But we were living it together, and nothing else mattered.

When we made it into the office Matty was on the phone, so Riley started to brief us. "Alright you guys, transport." She said, pulling up photos of four young men. "These two guys, Brice and Jerome, are from the Bloods, also known as RBG, Ruthless Blood Gang, founded right here in LA. They were caught setting up Alfie and Ray, members of the Bloods main rival gang, the Crips, aka the Original Crip Homies. Yeah I'm literally not making this up. The boys are all pretty young, messing with the others to move up in the ranks, but have all rolled."  
"They did?" Jack frowned.  
"Yep. All four of them rolled on their entire gangs, giving names, locations, shipping info, clients. Making them some of the most high priority targets on the streets. The judge granted them video testimony, and is flying them out of the country, and we are the escorts."  
"Judge must be really sure they won't live through the trial." Bozer commented, walking into the room with a smile. "Sorry to interrupt."  
"That's ok Bozer." Matty nodded.  
"Uh, Matty? Carlo said he needed you down in the lab, something about the robotics funding."  
"Can this wait until later?" She asked patronisingly.  
"Well I don't know he told me to come up here he seemed pretty pissed and-."  
"Alright fine. Gimme a minute, OK?" She asked, gesturing towards Riley, who had been mid presentation.  
"Right, uh, sorry." He nodded, sitting on the edge of the sofa nearest the door.  
"As I was saying, we are escorting them out of the country, so-." Before Riley could finish what she was saying, there was a ringing hail of gunfire, in the building. Angus grabbed Wilt and pulled him further into the room. Jack, Matty and I all pulled out our own guns, and aimed in the general direction of the main entrance. Riley hid the files on the screen and tried to pull up the security camera feeds. We could hear yelling, and pain, and large casings hitting the floor in waves. Whoever was shooting had a very large gun - something automatic with a lot of fire power on hand. Jack began to move towards the door, ready to face this shooter. "Jack." Matty said in a stern, hushed tone. Jack turned, locking eyes with her, and she shook her head. He frowned and reached for the window, turning the glass opaque. It wasn't fast enough though. The shooter came round the corner quickly, killing two analysts before spotting us. He looked straight into Angus' eyes, and I knew there was something deathly wrong with this situation … you know, bar the obvious.

The shooter burst into the room before Jack could lock the door, clocking him on the head and knocking him down. "Jack!" Matty yelled, genuinely concerned. Jack dropped to the floor behind the sofa, while the shooter closed and locked the door behind himself. "Big mistake." Matty growled, raising her gun for a shot through the eye socket.  
"I would not." The man said, opening his jacket. No wonder no one in the building would shoot him. Angus' eyes widened, and he jumped in front of Matty, pushing the barrel of her gun to the floor as he slid to his knees.  
"Matty don't! That's TATP." Angus said, staring up at the bomb the size of a bullet proof vest stuck against this man's shirt.  
"That's right." The more he spoke the more I could tell. He had a southern European accent, I would guess Spanish, not that I want to. "So all of you, drop your weapons and get on your knees over there." He said, waving the gun at us to line up against the back wall. He was young, late 20s, and the more I deduced the worse it got. I had never been so scared in my life. Believe me, I was terrified. Not for my safety, or even for Angus at this moment, but because I knew exactly how this would end. I knew the look on Angus' face before I made it, and it broke my heart. I ignored this feeling as long as I could of course, pretending that there would be some other way out of this. That like always Angus would think of something, and it would all be ok. But I knew those eyes.

We did as he asked before we had a better plan. Matty and I went to help Jack up when he came around, and we all sat back on our knees, looking up at the young man as he paced back an forth on the far side of the coffee table. "What's your name?" Angus asked tentatively.  
"Diego." He said angrily, unable to hide the raw emotion in his voice. He was so flustered and afraid, he hadn't been planning this for long. It's somewhat frightening how easy it was for him in fact. Matty leaned over to Angus once Diego was in his own world. "What is TATP?" She asked.  
"It stands for Triacetone Triperoxide and it's a high velocity peroxide based explosive moving at 17 and a half thousand feet per second. It's highly volatile and could take down this entire building. Anybody it didn't burn it would suffocate." Angus frowned, staring at the bomb intently.  
"That sounds not good." Jack said hazily, coming around with his headache. "That kid's a total dick."  
"Which one of you is Angus MacGyver?" Diego yelled suddenly.  
"He's not here." Jack said flatly, blinking hard to try and get his head in order. No one believed him.  
"You lie!" Diego yelled, sending 50 bullets into the sofa. "Which one of you is Angus MacGyver?" He yelled, louder somehow.  
"I am." The voice wasn't Angus'. Everyone in a line turned to see Wilt stand up. The poor guy thought he was doing something so right. "So if you gotta shoot someone, you shoot me." It seemed funnier somehow that he was paraphrasing Spider-Man. "No." Angus said harshly, his voice ringing in the silence.  
"Yes." Diego said flatly, grabbing Wilt and pressing the end of his gun to Wilt's chest. "You will help me." His English wasn't the best, but he would make sense. Matty stood up, raising her hands in surrender as she stepped towards Diego. "Stop!" He yelled, afraid of her.  
"It's ok. Look, we all wanna get out of this alive, so what can we help you with?" He looked her up and down for a minute, and slowly everyone in the room realised she was being genuine.  
"My father. He hired a contractor, to kill Angus MacGyver. The contractor, he killed my father." Diego explained. "You find him for me! Or finish what he started." He said, pressing the gun further into Wilt's chest.  
"Riley." Matty said, beckoning her back to her computer. Riley stood up tentatively, going back to sit at her console. "Riley is the best analyst we have, if anyone can find this man, she can." Matty said, trying to calm Diego.

After about an hour and a half of Riley running into dead end after dead end, she had started to make eyes at me. She'd caught me trying to find this man a long time ago, and she wanted to know if I'd managed it. I think she was suspicious, the time I'd taken off, the way I was so happy when I got back, I think she'd put it together. Diego still believed the man who his father contracted killed him. By the ever growing look in Riley's eye, I don't think she'd made that leap yet. "Diego, even with your father's accounts, this guy wiped every trace of himself from the system." Riley said in a huff, looking up from her computer.  
"No! There must be something you missed!" Diego yelled, pressing the tip of the AK further against Wilt's chest.  
"There isn't, OK? Comprende? The only person who knows who killed your father is the person who killed your father."  
"Fine. Then your Angus MacGyver dies." He said dramatically. He dropped the AK to the strap around him, pulling a hand gun from his back and putting it to Wilt's neck.  
"It was me." I said, standing up, my hands raised in surrender. The look on Angus' face said it all, I couldn't let anything happen to Wilt for me, Angus would never recover.  
"What?" he frowned. "Don't be ridiculous." I dropped my faux fear, and I didn't lie.  
"I scaled the grey stone south wall of your father's mansion in the Valencian mountains. I climbed in the basement window and went to his study where he told me he knew I was coming. He told me he'd rather die in his family home, and asked if there was any amount of money in the world where I would spare his life, and then I shot him between the eyes and watched him bleed out on the vintage Venetian rug." I was taunting him, because what else could I do? I couldn't let him kill Wilt. It worked. In his blinding rage he let go of Wilt and the trigger, reaching both hands to my throat as he pushed against me. In that moment I was certain that Diego wanted nothing more than to feel the life leave my body, but we were luckier than that. In the commotion, Angus grabbed the trigger, and Jack handed me a gun. I put it to Diego's temple without a second thought and pulled the trigger, his brains covering the immediate vicinity.

His body dropped lifelessly to the floor but I stood still. It hadn't hit me just yet what I'd done, but once the ringing subsided I heard that same sound Mr Gutierrez had when he realised I was there. I raised my hands again, this time turning to Matty, as she point the gun square at me. "Matty what the hell are you doing?" Angus asked, his anguish filling the somehow lacking space now. "She was just bating him." Matty and I locked eyes, and she looked so disappointed in me.

"No. She wasn't."


	19. Chapter 19: All We Do

Chapter 19: All We Do

Catastrophic loss.  
That's what this is.

"What are you talking about Matty?" Angus asked, his heart blocking his mind from the truth.  
"She really is a hit woman Mac." Riley interjected. "She really did take the contract that was on you." I could see it in her eyes, she was so angry at herself for not putting it together sooner. It's ok though, she gave me the benefit of the doubt, it was a leap to realise what was really going on, I hid it well. "Surrender your weapons." Matty said flatly. I removed every knife and every gun from my body, and when I was done I stood there in her surrender. I knew it was over, the least I could do was some good.  
"You're a contract killer?" Angus asked, baffled. And broken. His voice cracked under the pressure the words handed him, he could never pick well.  
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you right now and say he did it?" Matty asked, so angry that she had let me in. Angus looked horrified by the concept, but at that moment, he wouldn't have stopped her either.  
"What do you want?" I asked softly.  
"… Your ledger. Every page." She decided after a moment.  
"Done."  
"Everything. I mean it."  
"You have my word." It was fading now, all the things I'd felt these past few months. It was so wonderful being normal for a while. But being confronted with the truth breaks a person, and I was broken to begin with. There's something that happens to you, when people know what you've done, what you are. It's like you flip a switch, so those disgusted and terrified looks don't mean anything.

Matty cleared the glass and brought in what was left of security, she had them cuff me, and take me to the same interrogation room I had once been interviewed it. Lets call it poetic justice, and don't get me wrong; this will be justice.

They walked into the room with sour expressions. I was surprised, honestly. I didn't think he'd come, but he was mad, he was hurt, and he was still going to see this through. It was a far worse feeling than the first time I sat in this cold white room. This time I was in handcuffs, attached to the table. It wouldn't have been hard to get out, but I didn't want to. "Lola Louise Williams, born December 16th 1989 to Marcus Jonathan Williams and Louise Elena Saxon." Angus started.  
"Yes." I said quietly.  
"Riley checked up on the schools you went to, all legit." Jack said. "Then you fell off the face of the earth at 19. The day after you graduated from University. So where'd you go?" Jack asked. I said nothing in response. "We're not gonna be able to get you a good deal if you don't communicate with us." He said, his head tilting down so his eyes looked up at me large.  
"I don't want a deal." I said quietly, shaking my head slightly.  
"You what?" Angus frowned.  
"I get life in solitary on a deal. I'm good, thanks." I said, almost scoffing.  
"… Where'd you go after university?" Angus asked after a moment of silence.  
"I spent 8 months and 6 days training in a remote part of Israel."  
"Then what?" He asked.  
"I didn't know what to do. I got a ticket back to Europe, worked in some terrible bars serving worse drinks, participating in some rough fights."  
"Like under the table?" Jack asked.  
"Like in a cage. One night a woman came to a fight in Sicily. She offered me another kind of training." I frowned, unable to meet their eyes.  
"A Madam?" Jack asked. "You were recruited by a madam at 20?"  
"Sort of."  
"Sort of?" Angus mirrored.  
"She wasn't a madam exactly, she worked for a company. That took on contracts."  
"That's when this started? Are you still working for them? Did they get the contract on Mac?" Jack asked.  
"No. I split from them two years ago, after a bad job."  
"What does that mean? A bad job?" Jack asked. I stayed quiet.  
"You said you'd give us everything." Angus said sternly.  
"… I was contracted to kill a man cheating on his wife. She hired the hit, so he hired me. One night in a hotel without cameras. It looked like everything was going fine, when his daughter called… It made me think of all the times I would call my father on assignment I-… I couldn't do it. I threatened him instead. The company didn't like that; he'd seen my face. They sent someone else in. I settled my debt to them with a different contract, but after that I was done."  
"You've still been taking contracts though." Jack frowned.  
"Had to pay the bills."  
"What about Tesla?" Angus asked.  
"They set me up with the job as a cover. I kept it."  
"… We need them all. Every kill." Angus said hesitantly.  
"You can have them. There's a book, in my house. It has everything, who ordered the hit, how much, the target … how I did it. It's in my music box."  
"Ok. That's something." Jack said, standing up. "Mac? You coming?"  
"I'm gonna stay." The words were music to my ears. "Can you give us some privacy?" He asked, looking behind him as Jack reached the door.

We sat there in silence for a while. We didn't look at each other, but our breathing met in sync. "Why'd you take it?" He asked eventually, looking at me like I had broken his heart. I had. It didn't occur to me until then, but I had.  
"Because somebody else would have." I said solemnly.  
"And you thought I'd rather be killed by someone I knew? Or was it just easier to get close to me?" He said, getting angry.  
"No!" I said, finally sitting up. "Have I killed you? At any point did I make an attempt on your life?" He said nothing. "I took the contract so no one else could. I came here to protect you, while I found my employer."  
"… Diego's father?"  
"That was my trip to Spain 3 weeks ago."  
"You killed him?"  
"I did."  
"… How many?"  
"You don't actually want the answer to that."  
"Oh I do."  
"… 23 contract, 3 personal."  
"Which one was Diego's father?"  
"I wasn't paid for it." I said, trying not to roll my eyes. I hated this topic; I hated everything about this, saying it all out loud.  
"And me? Everything that happened here? Joining the Phoenix?"  
"I was happy. I was able to keep you safe, and I finally had the legitimate honest life that I wanted."  
"This wasn't honest! Nothing about this was honest."  
"I am in love with you. That's honest." I frowned. He shut up. He knew I wasn't lying, and that, for the most part, was enough for him. He looked up from his staring at my hands, his eyes brimming with salted pain. "I love you too." With that he got up, huffing, and without looking at me or giving me another word, he left.

Angus MacGyver, is the kindest, clearest, smartest person I know. I did everything I could in this world to keep him safe, but I forgot to keep him safe from me. I knew what all of this meant, and I knew where this would go.

I've been hauled in an off grid maximum security prison. The trial is pretty secure too. I've found at least two escape routes, but it was more to pass the time. I know I don't deserve to leave, I know I have ruined lives … and taken them. I know I have irreparably damaged the only man I have ever really loved, and for that I am no longer interested in this world. I heard my father has come back into the country, trying to work out some sort of diplomatic immunity. I'm sure the man would give up his own for my life. When he tried to visit I refused, and of course my mother isn't coming. What a strange world to have nothing to live for.

I was dressed in white by my attorney, I think he thought it would make the jurors think I was good. Unfortunately I had given the prosecution all the evidence they needed. I met my council in the holding cell before the trial. Councillor Jian Cho. He was a tall man, told me he was Korean. He had read up on my case, having been brought in last minute, he swore he would do everything he could. I respected him for coming inside and sitting in the cell with me. The other guards were terrified of me, having heard only rumours. Jian had read every case, every page of my ledger, and genuinely thought he could convince the tribunal. He called it a job of survival, explained that he would be going through my entire childhood, how I had practically been raised to do this and only this. The job at Tesla wouldn't help, he'd minimise that as best he could. On the first day of trial I walked into the hall from the holding cells, entering through a side door. The court room was a dodecagonal wooden room with a high ceiling and huge alters. There was seating to the left of the door for a tribunal, as of course this particular case wasn't going to be tried publicly. Prosecution for the state was Sally Perry, a power pant suit sporting older woman who was not afraid of her greys. She looked at me as I walked in, my body tight white work dress from my home wardrobe sickening her to her core. We locked eyes only for a moment, and I could tell she hated me, but maybe that's what made her such a brilliant prosecutor. She was equally as ready for this trial, and was going to present it as cut and dry facts. Bar work for the Phoenix Foundation, I killed 26 people in cold blood.

My book really did give all the gory details. I listened, and watched Angus battle with being there as they went through every kill, every aftermath. "Exhibit 16b your honour, pages 52-56 of the defence admitted 'ledger'. The paid for brutal murder of Lauren Juliette Cross, killed in her own home. The hit was ordered by Miss Cross' own mother when she refused to re-join the family business in May of 2015. Three weeks later the defendant broke into Miss Cross' home and beat her to death before making the scene look like a robbery gone wrong." Jian stood up.  
"Your honour it should be noted here that the autopsy showed Miss Cross had received a precision strike to the top of the spine, causing her to lose all feeling below the neck."  
"Your client still admits to the murder, why is this relevant?" Mrs Perry argued.  
"Speaks to the defendant's character your honour. She had been paid to do a job a certain way and still found mercy in it."  
"Miss Cross received 38 blows to the body." Mrs Perry argued.  
"And how many to the head?" Jian replied. I remembered Lauren. I'd met her in a bar that night, tried to understand her. I met most of them before hand. The company always told us not to but, it's a lot harder to kill someone you can't gage. I know most people would argue the opposite, how could you ever kill someone you know? But it's not the same. Just not meeting the person doesn't make you detached, you still kill them, especially in the case of Lauren you still feel the life leave their bodies, watch the light dim from their eyes. So what really is the difference? Knowing the sound of their voice? I can remember words rather than screams. At least if you meet them, you know. You have no surprises; you know what you're walking into. In fact the only time I didn't meet the mark first was with Louis. Sorry, Mr Henderson, the man with the infidelity? With him it was the date he hired me for. He lived a grand extra two hours because of his daughter, and she'll never know. Maybe that's for the best.

"Welcome everyone to part 76 of the Central Intelligence Tribunal of Miss Lola Louise Williams." The court clerk announced. Today is supposed to be the final day of the trial, and the most trialling of all.  
"The people present your honors with the final entry in Miss Williams' so titled 'ledger', the murder of one Alexandre Rodrigo Gutierrez." I felt Angus' eyes burning in the back of my head as Mrs Perry said his name. I was surprised actually; he was here for the whole thing. I couldn't tell exactly how Angus felt about everything going on, but he stayed. That means something … right?  
"The prosecution calls Miss Lola Louise Williams to the stand." Jian was surprised by this move, having not bothered to prepare me for the stand, I had assumed I wouldn't get a say. Maybe this was simply her plan all along, my obsession with Angus MacGyver sending me to a certain early grave. Mrs Perry enjoyed this, and when the second command judge looked to her she raised an eyebrow and smiled. She appeared to agree with me, that this would more than likely sign my death certificate. I looked up at Jian, who appeared just a little too serious, and I stood. I did my best not to look at Angus as I made my way to the stand.

It was very strange and uncomfortable sitting up there, almost comical as they swore me in. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?"  
"I swear." I said softly. Mrs Perry stood, glancing down at her file before looking up at me.  
"Miss Williams, do you recall the events you described in your ledger, taking place on this past September 18th?"  
"Yes."  
"Could you please describe the events for me?" I took a deep breath.  
"I drove through the Valencian south valley, parked under a willow tree at the bottom of the cliff."  
"Objection, speculation." Jian said, hoping to stop this suicide.  
"Overruled." Lead judge Connors said, waving his hand.  
"What cliff?"  
"The cliff that had Mr Gutierrez's mansion on top of it." I said, I had assumed that was obvious, and that I didn't need to treat this as a debrief. Guess I was wrong.  
"Go on."  
"I scaled the cliff using a V18 grappling hook, but I probably could've done it without."  
You don't need to include speculation Lola, just what happened." Jian didn't like that comment, and when I looked to Mrs Perry I could see why. I really was digging my own grave.  
"When I got to the too of the cliff I scaled the wall and walked through the grounds. I entered the house through the pantry window, people always forget to lock basements. I had already studied the layouts of the house, so when I was inside I did a basic sweep."  
"Why?"  
"I had to make sure he was alone."  
"Why?"  
"Because if there were guards I would have had to take them out first."  
"Take them out?"  
"Neutralise them."  
"Kill them?"  
"I said neutralise. It's a neutral word, I'm not interested in unnecessary death."  
"So you would've knocked them out?"  
"Objection, speculation." Jian said, standing again.  
"Sustained. Stick to the facts please Mrs Perry." Judge Connors said. She nodded, though clearly not that bothered by it.  
"So what did you do once you'd swept the house?" She asked.  
"I moved to the study."  
"Did you know Mr Gutierrez would be in the study?"  
"No. But t was the most likely place given the variables to consider."  
"Right. What did you do when you found him?"  
"We spoke."  
"You spoke?"  
"Yes."  
"What did you talk about?"  
"He told me he knew I would be coming."  
"How did he know?"  
"Because I hadn't completed my contract."  
"Your contract?" She asked, as though she didn't fully understand the case.  
"Did you read the page in my ledger?" I frowned.  
"I did. I want you to explain it, please." She said, trying to sounds sweet.  
"Mr Gutierrez hired me for a contract kill on Angus MacGyver."  
"Why didn't you kill him?" At this I could only look up at Angus, who to my surprise, had left.  
"Because I'm in love with him."  
"So why did you kill Mr Gutierrez? Couldn't you just refuse the contract?"  
"Someone else would have taken it. I took it to keep him safe."  
"And inserted yourself into his life."  
"At least until I could be sure he was safe from the man who was after him, yes."  
"Objection, off topic." Jian stood again.  
"Speaks to the defendants motivations for the act, your honors." Mrs Perry retorted.  
"Overruled." Judge Connors said quickly.  
"Did you feel you had to kill Mr Gutierrez, Miss Williams?"  
"What other option do you propose?"  
"Could you not have made him take down the contract?"  
"I asked. He politely refused."  
"Did he assume you would leave?"  
"No. He knew I was there to take his life."  
"He didn't try to stop you?"  
"He tied to bribe me, suggested he would take the contract down."  
"Why didn't you accept?"  
"Because I knew it was a lie. I took it down once he was dead."  
"How could you know he was lying?"  
"Angus and his team ruined Mr Gutierrez's business, he wouldn't accept defeat."  
"But you defeated him, didn't you?"  
"I killed him."  
"How did you do that?"  
"I shot him between the eyes with a silenced Sig Sauer P226 Combat TB." Mrs Perry smiled at that, stepping back.  
"No further questions your honor."  
"Fine. Cross examination Mr Cho?" Judge Anderson asked.

"Yes your honor." He nodded, standing up as Mrs Perry sat. "Miss Williams, you didn't have a contract to kill Mr Gutierrez, correct?"  
"Correct."  
"He was one of three kills throughout your life who you killed of your own volition."  
"Yes."  
"So why did you kill him?"  
"Because he wanted Angus dead."  
"You seem quite set on protecting Agent Angus MacGyver, why is that?" I thought about this question for a little too long. 'Because I love him' is not a good enough answer.  
"… Because he's all I have left." I said quietly.  
"What about your parents?" Jian asked.  
"My mother is dead, and I have no relationship with my father."  
"No other family?"  
"Probably, somewhere. My father wasn't much one for sharing the wealth."  
"Did he share it with you?"  
"In the form of lessons."  
"Can you elaborate?"  
"Objection, relevance?" Mrs Perry interjected.  
"Speaks to the defendant's state of mind, your honors." They didn't give it a second thought, they wanted to hear this too.  
"Overruled." Judge Mayers said. He as a fat old man, sat third on the left. He liked to lick his lips when he caught my eye.  
"Please, Miss Williams, elaborate."  
"My father was under the impression that is forever under attack. That everyone who came into my life would want something from me, specifically things I was not to give."  
"So how did he teach you?"  
"He trained me. He payed for the best training money could buy regardless of the country we were in. I was to learn martial arts and languages. I spent more time in do-jos and on gun ranges than I did in school."  
"So it's safe to say your life as pretty full growing up. How did you come to meet Agent MacGyver then?"  
"My father was stationed near Mission City, and wanted to live in suburbs. He thought that if I went to a school in a small town maybe I wouldn't get so much attention."  
"Was that the case?"  
"He insisted I be driven to school in an armoured car, even children don't miss that."  
"So you didn't have a lot of friends?"  
"I didn't have any friends. I had superficial relationships, people who occasionally turn to me when they needed something, but no one I would turn to."  
"Until you met Agent MacGyver, is that right?"  
"Yes." I said, accidentally quiet all of a sudden.  
"And how would you describe your relationship with Agent MacGyver, when you two knew each other as teenagers."  
"I loved him."  
"And how did he feel about you?"  
"… He loved me." This of course was a sad thing to admit, as even in this state, I knew he loved me still.  
"Do you still love Agent MacGyver, Lola?"  
"I never stopped." I said, as though finishing a debrief. It was cold, and I knew I would have lost something from that. I should be bothering to show emotion but … it felt better not to.  
"Lola, why did you kill Mr Gutierrez?"  
"… Because I had to." I was a wasted space at this point, an empty vessel without someone to guard. Had I been riddled with bullets at that moment I'm quite sure I wouldn't have noticed.

That's what this does to you, this catastrophic loss.


	20. Chapter 20: A Broken Heart

Chapter 20: A Broken Heart

"Miss Lola Louise Williams, on this day the Californian tribunal of justice convened here convicts you of 23 counts of murder, 2 counts of wilful harm and 1 count of manslaughter. You are hereby sentenced to the death penalty, to be carried out within these following two weeks at the Pelican Bay State Prison, by method of lethal injection."

That was kind. Lethal injection in California is relaxed at best, and doesn't tend to bother with the three drug rule and inevitable potassium chloride. I am much more likely to get Trapanal. Trapanal is sodium thiopental, and is basically a fast acting anaesthetic, I'll fall asleep so hard it'll stop my heart. I explain this to you, I suppose, because rationally it's a perfect nice way to die. Far better than I deserve.

Two weeks is a pretty long period, Lord only knows what I'll do with time time. Though actually, the Pelican Bay State Prison has quite the comprehensive plan. I was not given leave to speak to anyone once the tribunal proceedings had finished, but instead sat in the back of a heavily armoured police vehicle as they escorted me to the jail. I spoke to the two agents riding with me about the 8 different ways I had noticed I would be able to leave the vehicle, prefacing it with my intention to help boost their security. They gave each other some very shifty looks.

When at the jail I found myself at a loss of what to do, it was terribly boring you see. Within the same day, luckily, Matty came to visit me. She didn't say much, staring at my cell through the reinforced plate glass. She didn't have anything to say, or maybe she had too much. What is she supposed to say, you know? I know that I gained her trust, whether I earned it or not I don't know. She was hurt by what I'd done, not to the people I killed, but to her team. To the people she cared about. "How are you holding up?" She asked after a long silence.  
"I'm fine." I nodded.  
"What do you need?"  
"Nothing." My tone was forced, softer than before but I knew I wasn't fooling her. I could speak in a perfectly level tone and say the perfect thing, and Matty Webber would still see through me. So she asked again. "What do you need?" I thought about it for a while, to only come up with one thing.  
"Paper."  
"Paper?"  
"I wanna draw."  
"Since when do you draw?" She asked skeptically.  
"I've always liked to draw." I shrugged.  
"Alright then." She frowned. "Mac would like to see you."  
"No." I said, sitting back on the bed and lifting my legs to my chest.  
"You can't avoid him forever."  
"I don't have to avoid him forever. Just another 13 days." I said, a smile in my voice.  
"Are you that ready to die?" The salt in her tone was undeniable. There wasn't really anything I could say to that, to pass the last few hours I've thought about the ways I could make it out of here. It wouldn't be all that difficult, could be done in a number of a ways and would only take a few hours to get the provisions. Does that make me ready to die? Maybe I'm not, because I'm thinking about it. Or maybe I am, because I'm not acting on it.

Matty got me paper. She didn't come back and give it to me personally obviously, I wouldn't've asked her to though. It's pretty miserable here. It's quite nice to draw, to see the worlds that I can create on paper, with a little time you can really create something beautiful. I can pretend that in another life I would've been an artist, or an illustrator. I don't think I would've liked to be someone else's illustrator though, I want to create my own worlds, and yet in some ways I've spent my life trying to understand other's. I engrossed myself in the lives of others, to get inside their heads … figure out how best to kill them. It's kinda dark actually … whoops. I always do that, try to lighten the mood by awkwardly joking my way out of things. More on that later.

After a couple of days I found myself drawing things I didn't even realise I remembered. It wasn't automatic drawing exactly, but I wasn't thinking about it. The first drawing I did was a beach, something I don't totally remember. By the angle I drew of the waves I know that I was a child. I assume my parents took me there. Maybe my father, maybe it was where I shot my first bird, I don't know. Yes I understand how morbid that sounds, but my father was just very protective. He believed in preparedness, above anything else.

I drew their faces. You know exactly who I'm talking about, my unrelatable victims, the ones I took from this world. I remember I used to tell myself that sometimes it was purely mercy, if I hadn't done it someone else would. Maybe I could have just taken their contracts and killed the employers, like I did with Angus. But what would that solve? Not to mention it isn't much of a way to make a living, not that that was ever a problem. Of course that pulls me down the rabbit hole of why I would kill in the first place. I must garner some enjoyment from it, since I didn't need the money... the money was really good though. Maybe it was a challenge, or maybe I liked the control of having a person's life in my hands. Maybe, it was fun. I'm quite sure you'd like the answer to that question, believe me I would too. Wouldn't it make things easier to completely understand a person, or maybe even just yourself.

Eight days until. Jack came to visit today. I didn't expect him, of all the team I just guessed he wouldn't want to be here. Which, hilariously, is exactly what he said to me. "I don't wanna be here." He said flatly, sitting on a cold metal chair across from my cell.  
"So why did you come?" I asked flatly. I was kind of tired. Tired of trying to get approval, tired of apologising, just tired.  
"I wanted to see your face."  
"Why?" I asked, looking up at him in my shadowed bed corner.  
"I wanted to look you in the eye, and tell you that I know. I know that you have six ways to Sunday to get out of here, but you're in here anyway."  
"And of course I'm hurting Angus by being in here right? So I should use one of them?"  
"… No. I think you're doing the right thing staying here. Look, you and I never got close, but you've saved my neck more than once, and Mac's more than I care to count. It can't have been easy for you to give yourself up like that, to give up everything you had. But you knew it was coming, and you stuck by it. Mac'ed kill me if he heard me say this to you, and I'm not keen on watching you bite it … but you are doing the right thing."  
"… You said that already."  
"You gonna act like that? Just hide behind that façade?" This sounds like it's going to become a recurring question.  
"What would you like me say?"  
"I want you to tell me that you're not gonna use the considerable means Matty gave you to get out. I want you to tell me that you're not gonna do what she wants." I got up and went to the glass, reaching two fingers through the breathing holes for Jack.  
"I promise you, Jack. I'm not getting out of this one." He nodded at me, curling his hand over mine and looking into my eyes. We said nothing more on the subject, and Jack left.

Six days still going strong. Today Riley showed up, though I was quite certain she wouldn't leave a trace. She sat on the same chair Jack had, as the prison had lazily not bothered to move it since. That would add another way of getting out of here to my quickly rising list. She sat across from me for twelve and a half minutes (roughly), before she finally said something. "The cameras are down, just say the word and I can open the doors." I poised myself on the end of the bed, as close to her as I could get. "No thank you." I said quietly.  
"Why not? It would be easy."  
"It would."  
"Would you prefer a challenge?" She snapped. "Jack said you know a dozen ways out of this place."  
"He's right."  
"So you're still in here, why?"  
"Because it's where I'm supposed to be." I said, more solemnly than I'd intended.  
"Can't argue with that." I scoffed at that. She was right, I was right. There was a long moment of silence yet again, and suddenly she came and sat on the floor, right against the glass of my cell. I met her movement, sitting in front of her too. She didn't look up at me, I think the whole emotional thing was difficult for her. "I uh, I don't really know how to say this." She began. But there was further silence, and when she didn't offer up anything more, I tried to give her a way out. "I wouldn't take it back."  
"What?"  
"The people I killed, they shaped me. They weren't all good or all bad, I suppose rather like myself. I played the hand I was given in the best way that I knew how. I wouldn't take it back."  
"What about the good? The good people you hurt, wouldn't you give them their lives back?" I thought about it for a moment, before sitting up straight and looking at her. "Newton's third law."  
"… You're insane."  
"Yes. How else do you think I survived so many years doing what I did?" I said, a smile brimming across my mouth to lighten the mood.  
"… Ok. Fine. But there were easily more awful people than good ones in that book. So Newton doesn't apply." I scoffed at that.  
"If you count the damage I have done to the man I love, I think we're all about even."  
"And what about the damage you did to the rest of us?" This was an unexpected surprise. I should've known that Riley and Wilt wouldn't come alone. "You make a very good point." I nodded, looking up at him. "Hi Wilt."  
"You were my friend too, Lola. You were nice to me, and you saved our asses, when we were kids and now." He said, coming to kneel on the floor next to Riley. "Riley doesn't wanna say it, but she's just hurt. We're hurt, Lola."  
"I know."  
"So why are you making it worse?"  
"I deserve what I have. I made my bed Wilt, I have to lie in it."  
"No you don't. You are more than just a killer, more than just Mac's high school crush, more than our friend. You are part of a team of people who love you and need you. So you may not need Riley's help to get out, but you have to get out. I don't care how or when or why you do it, but you have to get out." Wilt was the first and last to reach into the cell, pushing two fingers in the air holes above our heads, hoping that he had changed my mind. I felt my face expressionless, quite sure that refusing him would make him plead further.

Two days and counting. Today was easily the worst. I get let out into the yard every day at a different hour to the rest. For some reason they don't want the trained killer to fraternise with the other women. It's pretty much solitary. When out in the yard today, it was different. At first it felt like an organised escape attempt. I noticed fewer guards than usual, and those who were there to begin with disappeared quickly. I was sure a gate would open at any moment, but I was wrong. He came up behind me, a hand on my arm. When I turned, and I saw his shiny blonde hair, and his dark puffy eyes, I didn't what to say or how to feel. We stared at each other like that for a while, no space between us, feeling each other's breath, semi-cool under the hot beating sun. He looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks, I would wager potentially 12 days. He had been crying, and fighting. My immediate response was to chastise him for training in this condition, and yet I couldn't force a sound from my mouth. As we stared at each other for longer and longer emotions began to brim, and before I knew it we were both tearing up. After a while he emotions got the better of him, and he finally opened his mouth. "I forgive you." He said, reaching his hand to my face, pushing back my hair. "No. Don't forgive me Angus." I cried.  
"I forgive you." He repeated, holding me up to look at him.  
"No." I said, forcing him off. "If you forgive me it'll just hurt so much more."  
"It already hurts Lola!" He cried. "I love you. All you've ever done is try to protect me, in your own messed up way, and I loved every second I had with you." He cried, tears streaming his cheeks as his jaw flexed. He took my face in his hands again, his fingers intertwining with my hair as he tried to make me look at him. "It hurts either way, because I know that you don't deserve this verdict. I know you are good."  
"I am not." I cried.  
"Yes you are. You never had a choice, and every our you got you took. You are not a bad person."  
"The court disagrees." I scoffed, finally meeting his eye. "I disagree."  
"Then you're just have to live knowing that I love you. That I know you aren't a bad person."  
"Actually I don't." I said almost laughing. "I won't be living much longer at all in fact."  
"Don't joke about this."  
"What else is there?" I laughed hopelessly. "I die tomorrow Angus. And listen to me." I said, meeting his eye again and trying to be serious. "You _cannot_ be there. I can't have you watch me die." I breathed.  
"If I come will you wait to die until I leave?" He joked.  
"Oh true gallows humour." I laughed. We pulled into each other, hugging so tightly I could hear our hearts sync. "I love you Angus MacGyver. Everything I did I did for you. You have to keep doing what you do, you have to get over this. You promise me."  
"I never got over you the first time." He said, kissing my neck through my hair.

I can't imagine how difficult this is for Angus. He hates killing. He hates death, he wants nothing to do with it. And I know what you're gonna say, some of the things he builds, definitely a few of the makeshift bombs are more than likely to have had some casualties. But there's a difference. What Angus does it for the greater good, and what I did was for a payday. That's the difference between us, and I can't help but assume he's making the same connections that I am right now, between the girl he loves, and his long time enemy. I am exactly like Murdoc, and how could he not draw the parallel. Cold, mystic contract killer, has one person in this world that they care about and would do anything to protect? Remind you of anyone?

When Angus left I was taken back to my cell, and I cried. God I haven't cried like that since my mother died. I could feel however I may like, but this was going to break my heart.

I am going to die today. That's the bare truth of it. I think I'm scared, but I don't really know what I feel. It's not something you experience often really, the plan of your own death. It's not a feeling I enjoy that is for sure, but something Angus said on his visit really sunk in. Something that has made this whole occasion seem far more real, and bitter. Nothing unusual, or that he hadn't said to me 1000 times before, but through all this, and what I am to him now, he still loves me. A human being who can forgive the way he has, who can rationalise the insanity I have provided, loves unconditionally.

I walked sluggishly through the halls of the prison, and I was terrified. We walked into an octagonal room, with dark grey walls and a gleaming white chair in the centre. It seemed so out of place. They removed my cuffs, and I stood in front of the chair, trying to think of what to say. All words were lost on me, when I saw his face. I begged him, and the last thing I'd ever ask he couldn't do. There he was, sat in the stands like he was about to watch a baseball game.

When I sat in the chair they put the IV in my arm, and I saw Angus' eyes tear up The last thing I wanted was to look him in the eye, but I couldn't look away. I couldn't hear them as they read me my rights, and last declaration of life, and I didn't know what to say when they asked. I managed to shake my head slightly, and they moved on. My last chance to speak and I didn't take it. I felt myself doze off, I think? I felt calm. And then I felt nothing.


	21. Chapter 21: Both Sides Now

Chapter 21: Both Sides Now

The funeral was beautiful. White lilies lined each row of seats at the service. Angus MacGyver had picked a church with blossom trees outside. He felt more comfortable in a place so openly peaceful. Due to the nature of the event, the casket remained closed for the duration, though people were allowed to pay their respects at the beginning and end of the service. The team did not enter crying, but took their seats in the front two rows and waited for the minister to begin. The funeral was catholic, as in line with the father's insistence, though Holy Communion was negated. He sat on the other side of the church, and spoke to no one but extended family members, who knew their place at the back of the church. No one was comfortable, no one was happy, but they all showed up.

When the priest opened the altar to the floor, there was a moment of silence. The people in the stands froze as though a target on each back, until finally, someone stood. She moved awkwardly across the aisle, people cramping their legs to one side or another to let her through. She stood at the altar, her piercing glistening in the sunlight that shone through the window. "I didn't know Lola for very long, and I had a lot of trouble trusting her. Ultimately," she hesitated, her eyes falling on the blonde who couldn't unlock his jaw. She pursed her lips, before they relaxed into a smile. Ultimately, whether I trusted her or not, she was one of the best people I've ever known. I have never seen someone so strong and fearless, and so ready to lay her life down, always for the right reasons. I know I won't miss her the most. But she'll always be in my heart." With that, Riley sat down again at the end of her aisle, and soon people began to relax.

People who knew and cared had flown from all over the world to see her, and soon came up to say a few words. All spoke along the lines of loyalty and vigilance, with some bitter about secrets. It likely occurred to the team what it looks like when you know more than everyone else in the room, and a dramatic irony flashed in glances between them. It was 15-20 minutes later when blood began to boil. All due to the rise of the father. When Russian friend and colleague Anton had finished, there was a short moment in which no one else seemed to want to speak. This was until he stood. His steps were long but laboured, matching his loud breaths. Even now he did not let his stubble grow, though had given in to the grey on his head. He pulled out a typed script from his pocket, scanning over it before addressing the far wall of the church. "My daughter, was a strong woman. I know I tested her greatly, all for her own gain. I do not regret the way I raised her, only the shortfalls that lead to this moment. I cannot help but believe that if I had held her closer, she would still be with us today." His voice did not crack under the pressure, nor the way he tore into arguably the most important relationship in this room. "There is one fact that my daughter failed to remember from her childhood. Niemand ist es wert, dafür zu sterben. Thank you all for being here today. That is all." He took his seat once more, Angus containing his anger. Bozer leaned over in the group. "What language was that? What did he say?" When there was no reply, Matty leaned forward from the row behind. "It means 'no one is worth dying for'. It was a dig at Mac." She whispered quietly. Angus' eyes remained fixated on the casket, unable to look at anything else. But Bozer would not stand for that. Before the priest could request the eulogy, he stood and made his way to the altar. "Look, I know that not everyone here gets along, but that's not what we're here for. We're here to mourn the life of one of the most incredible people that I have ever known, who deserves all the love and respect that we can give her at this time. What's important now, is to remember that, Lola died for something she believed in. She died to do the right thing, and to right her wrongs." Once Bozer was done with his preaching session, he took a look back at the casket. "And, one more thing." He said, his heart relaxing slightly as the adrenalin flooded from his system. "Lola was my friend, and … and if there's anything we can leave here agreeing on, it's that she's gonna be really, dearly missed." There were a few emotional nods from the people in the church, the father retreating to his phone.

The blonde rose from his seat, nervous, scared and emotionally vulnerable. He already blamed himself enough without the words from the father. But finally, he gave the eulogy. Though unsure of what to say at first, when looking to his team, he found his words. "Lola," he breathed deeply, unable to look up from his paper. He took another moment, considering what to say, before looking up, his oceanic blue eyes only more distinguished from their red teary setting. His jaw clenched. "Lola made the same choice that anyone would make. She chose to do the thing she was good at. She chose to show kindness in bad situations, saving people from pain that someone else would've caused. When Lola came into my life, she saved me too. And even though she left for a while, she's been saving me ever since. Saving me, in the end, is what put her in that box." His voice cracked and a strained pang of guilty tears streamed his face, an emotional wail escaping his lips. "I will never forgive myself, for being the reason she's gone. All I can do is not waste all the good she's done." With that he broke down entirely, and left the altar. Jack wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulders, consoling him as the priest came to close the service.

Angus MacGyver and Wilt Bozer were both pall-bearers for the ceremony. The father was not. Once at the grave site, people stood in mourning before saying their final goodbyes. "Mac, do you wanna stay for a while?" Jack asked, stepping up beside the man who was almost last to leave the service. He nodded, taking a knee beside the grave and twirling his rose in his hands. "I never bought you flowers." He whispered, final tears dropping from his bloodshot eyes.

The rest of the team left him to mourn, the one most effected by the loss.

* * *

The screens shut off, ripping me back to reality. "Now, I showed you this as a courtesy. To give you closure." I stared up at her, my blood boiling. She waited before moving off what I had just seen as though it were nothing. "Now," she said, stepping towards me. "Are you ready to get to work?"


	22. Chapter 22: Control

Chapter 22: Control

I'm in a room. It's bleak and grey like the last one, but this time it's smaller. I'm on a single wrought iron bed with scratchy dark grey sheets. There's a small matching side table, with a battery powered digital clock and an all-plastic lamp plugged into the wall. There was nothing enjoyable about the place, it was simplistic and sanitary. It was more than the military guise, but less than a regular agency. I stood from the bed, feeling the lump on the side of my neck and wincing at the shock. That would undoubted be some sort of tracker implant. The same thing you put in your dog, will work similarly on a human, though given the quarters I would assume it's one that will include an underground trace. This was maybe twice the size of my prison cell, with a desk in the far corner and a door with a small-reinforced plate glass window around eye level for the average male. This ends the list of outwardly noticeable things about the room. My first thought was that – since they did appear to want me alive – there wasn't a slot in the door to push food through, meaning at some point someone would have to come in, or I would be granted leave. Without much further care, I waited for that.

Dead silence. Nothing. No walking the halls no hum of an inconsistent air conditioning unit. This place was immaculate. I looked through the pane in the door, granting me view to an equally dim and miserable hallway. To the right it lead straight for as far as I could see, to the left it turned, stretching off into an unknown distance. As I pressed myself against the door I finally heard something. There it was, the first clue. A buzzing noise, tiny sound. My ears were only tuned for being in quiet for so long. I stepped away from the door as a test, and lost it. I returned, pressing my ear to every inch of the door I could reach, and finding a clear outline of stronger and weaker buzzing. Electrified locking system, and a high-tech one at that. They were smart not to put a keypad on the inside of the door; I assumed that meant I would be receiving fewer visitors than a prison cell.

I spent over seven hours in there before anyone came to me. There were four men, all dressed in dark grey jump suits. When the first one opened the door they stood at all angles I could've slipped passed them. I squared up – at a safe distance – crossing my arms sternly. "You boys look more like prisoners than I do." I scoffed.  
"Miss, you're coming with us."  
"I'm bored, so sure." I shrugged, walking towards them. As I stepped out of the room I noticed that one of the guards was a little jumpy. He was scared of me. I double-checked this by falling out of step with them, moving slightly over to him. His stride behind me slowed dramatically as he winced. I laughed lightly and stepped back into rhythm.

Six different turns and three secure doors later, I was taken to a large open room. The same bland concrete walls. The two front guards suddenly grabbed my upper arms, and I would've fought them if I hadn't been so interested in the woman waiting for me on the other side of the room. She was an older Korean woman in a sharp suit. The two guards sat me down in a chair similar to the last one I remember, and I could do without that memory. "Miss Williams, so glad you could join us." She said, having someone hand her a tablet as she turned to the screens behind her. "Meet Wilson Jacobi, one of the top arms dealers in the world." She said, pulling up photos of him as the other screens were covered with file pages. "His company has developed a portable nuclear device that is undetectable even through entrance into the Pentagon."  
"Sounds like fun." I said, the layers of salt in my tone plain as the walls down here.  
"He wants to sell to the US military."  
"Why?" I scoffed.  
"He thinks he's a patriot." I said nothing, merely forcing my face into a contortion of boredom and irritation. "We don't agree."

The glass broke. You know when everything suddenly makes total sense. It was her. She came in from a side door, black ops uniform unmistakeable. Her long dark hair in a sleek braid, back from how I'd last seen her. "Of course it's you." I said flatly, standing and squaring up to her. She smiled at me as she passed, standing beside her boss. "I'm not here to fight you, again." There was a small smirk at the corner of her mouth as she crossed her arms.  
"Miss Williams." The boss woman growled, grabbing my attention. "Sit." My eyebrow rose, but in the interest of the effort it would require to kill all these people, I sat.  
"Why am I here?" I asked flatly.  
"Agent Rayon here suggested that we pull you from your predicament."  
"Good, I can put a name on the hit list." I said, cocking my head slightly as I folded my arms, glaring at her. The boss woman clicked her fingers, retraining my attention like a toddler. "You are going to get onto Mr. Jacobi's yacht during his daughter's 15th birthday party. You are going to find him alone, and you are going to kill him, where no one can hear you."  
"Am I now?" I asked, my glare returning to Rayon.  
"Yes." The boss said, her tone matching mine. My jaw clenched as I realised I would eventually have to engage.  
"And why would I do that?"  
"We saved your life." Rayon interjected.  
"Some life." I retorted.  
"It is a life, nonetheless. You would be dead if it weren't for my organisation."  
"I might as well be."  
"Well you're not. So make yourself useful." She said, dropping the tablet on my lap and walking out.  
"I didn't agree to this."  
"You don't have too." She said over her shoulder. My focus was on her, and my mind just didn't notice. I was weak as it was, and I was too late to move before they injected me.

It wasn't sleep. It was kind of like, everything fell away. It wasn't suggestibility, more like singularity. Two men brought in a duffel bag, one dropping it on the bed, the other offering me a tray of food. He sat it on the desk, and I moved from my crossed-legged position on the bed to the chair. I set up the tablet on the desk as I ate, my mind focused entirely on the case. Once I had eaten I got changed into the dress, put on the heels, and they let me out. With the security predicted for the event, I wasn't going to be able to bring in any kind of weapon. That didn't matter though. Nothing really seemed to, actually. It was a laser focus, as though nothing but the mission was important in this world. Because it wasn't.

I was allowed onto the boat with my fake invitation, and surveyed it for over an hour. 11 security guards, 14 support staff, and over 50 party guests. Most of the guests were teenagers, very easy to control, so I wasn't worried. I located the target while he spoke to his daughter just over two hours after arrival. She was displeased about something, spoilt children always are. I'm sure if my father had treated me like this I would've been. I probably would also be dead by now though, so…

More to the point, I followed Mr. Jacobi to his office. He stood in there, making a deal with some men who weren't trying very hard not to look military. I couldn't help but notice another man in the corner of the room. I assessed his as a threat, but his body language towards the military men was what interested me. He was off put by their presence. On closer examination it appeared he had a similar facial bone structure to Mr. Jacobi, and based on his being in the room during the exchange and their similar age brackets, I would imagine he was Joshua Jacobi, Wilson's brother. Far better at hiding his identity, his brother was the ace of the business, and Joshua was far better at staying in the shadows. Doing the far shadier things in life. Given the haze I was in, the glass break moments were coming a little too frequently for my liking. It occurred to me why I was being asked to take out Wilson. I was a pretty brilliant plan actually. With Wilson out of the picture, Joshua would be forced to step into the spotlight. Clearly uncomfortable around the military and against going legitimate as his brother wanted, he would likely turn to darker forces for the cash this weapon could produce, something that would be much easier to get clearance for, were he to sell to some shadier faction of the weapons market.

I'm sure had my brain been functioning the same way as it would without … enhancement, I might have made some quip about the poor form of doing this deal during his daughter's birthday party. As it stood, I stayed out of sight. This deal could not go through. I needed a reason for the military men to leave. It would be the simplest way to get Jacobi alone, though his brother might be an issue. Though a somewhat risky decision, I sent a message to extraction and told them to call the FBI to the base. Not leaving the dock until the midnight fireworks show, aptly put in the largest font on this evening's programme. I turned in a slightly emotional moment, and noticed two especially up-tight looking men board the boat. Perfect, feds. That's exactly what I needed.

Or, maybe it was exactly what I needed. No sarcasm or anything. I walked round to port side, about 6 feet from the door to the office. I grabbed a guard making his rounds by the arm and leaned in close. "I'm not looking to start anything, but I'm pretty sure two FBI agents just walked onto this ship." I turned and looked behind us, nodding in the direction of the two men who had just reached the bow. The guard took a deep breath before walking off, speaking something into his ear piece. I walked back round to one of the few windows into the office, and watched as the military men fumbles to gather their things, as they – and Jacobi's brother – fled the room. Guards ushered them out the other side, and I took my entrance.

It was easy to gain access, I slipped into the office just as the guards pulled away. Jacobi was pulling things from his safe, either ready for deeper stashing or throwing overboard I assumed. He didn't hear me come in, nor did he hear me slip behind him. It was a surreal experience actually. I felt this moment where … well, I felt. But as I felt the blade I'd pulled from my leg wrap begin to slit his throat, I could feel the emotions draining out of me, like liquid from a statue. There was minimal blood spatter, and I used a napkin from the side board to clean the blood from my hands, careful in the first place not to get it on my dress.

I wiped down any fingerprints I had left, before re-slotting the knife back into my leg wrap and slipping out of the office. I made it off the broad walk just as Jacobi's brother discovered his body. I walked smoothly down the pier, reaching land just as lights from a 718 Boxter S lit up the side of the road. I got in the passenger seat, pulling off my heels. "Did you complete your mission?" Rayon asked, pulling away from the pier.  
"Wouldn't be here if I hadn't."


	23. Chapter 23: In My Blood

Chapter 23: In My Blood

 _This is gonna sound like a cliché, but there really is a split second when I wake up in the morning, and I forget that she's gone. A moment when I don't watch her die every time I close my eyes, and a moment when I feel like I can actually breathe. Then full consciousness sets in, and I realise what life really is. Of course, scientifically I could explain it away because chemicals like dopamine are being overproduced and causing my subconscious to elicit especially emotionally fuelled dreams. But emotionally, just like the fuel for an engine, I feel the need for that dopamine hit. Because it's the only time I get to pretend she's not gone._

 _It has been four weeks and two days since we went to the prison. It's been three weeks and five days since the funeral, and I still feel like everything is a little grey. Matty told me to take time off, and I did, but there's nothing as awful as walking around this house alone all day. I remember how she would drape her legs over me like I was part of the couch, and how she used to walk around in my shirts and tackle me to the bed when she didn't wanna get up. After everything that we went through, after finding out who she really was, and how she inserted herself back into my life … I still love her. That's the feeling. That's the ache in my chest like there's a gaping hole there that won't be filled. That's where she sat. The love doesn't die, just because she did._

 _I drove for a couple days, trying to find a place that was either loud enough or peaceful enough that I would get some relief from my own mind, but that's never something I've been good at. So, I went back to work. It's not like Phoenix doesn't remind me of her of course, but at least here I can be doing some good, and occupying my overzealous mind. It's only really Bozer that notices now. He can see it when I zone out, he can tell when she's on my mind. After briefing today even Matty was looking shifty, so when she asked to talk to Riley and Jack I didn't really think anything of it. Boze and I stepped out of the war room, and he couldn't help but pull me aside. "Have you been yet?" He asked me. I know this seems out of context, but I knew what he meant. "No. I was gonna go after this next mission."  
_ " _What are you gonna say?"  
_ " _I don't know, Boze. It's talking to a grave, it's not like she can really hear me."  
_ " _Are you gonna bring her roses?"  
_ " _Yeah."  
_ "… _Have you said her name? Since-."  
_ " _No."  
_ "… _Do you want me to come with you? You know, for like – moral support?"  
_ " _No, Boze. Thanks. It's just something I'm gonna have to do alone."  
_ " _Ok."_

What is this concept that you see on TV, where you have to be 'a certain kind of person' to take someone's life? It makes the people taking lives seem like they are these emotionless psychopaths. I think this comes to my mind because I've only just realised I'm building up a tolerance to their serum. It's like I'm in a big white room, and occasionally a few more things poor in that usual. I rather like it actually, it's like I'm getting a few pieces of myself back. I let them do it now, though it does make things easier when they send me out. The more they put into me the better my tolerance will get, and before I know it I'll have everything back. This is no kind of life. I get an hour to roam the halls, though mostly I'm directed to spar in the gym. At first, they made me do it with their recruits, but I broke too many, so now it's just punching bags.

This afternoon I had 90 minutes sparring time and found myself across the mat from Rayon. "What are you doing here?" I asked, sticking to my bag.  
"Don't you want a rematch?" She smirked. I stopped, turning to her as she twisted her wraps twice around her wrists. "You cut off the blood supply, so it doesn't hurt as much." I said, stepping onto the mats with her.  
"I wrap up properly, it makes no difference to my technique."  
"I disagree." I said under my breath as we began to square up.  
"Oh really? If you remember, I did beat you."  
"Yes, you did." She stood up straight at that.  
"I'm surprised you admit it."  
"Sometimes it's better to lose than win poorly." I nodded.  
"That's how you know you weren't trained here. The United States of America, trying to teach hard like the Russians. Win by any means necessary."  
"Americans are built on the illusion of freedom, they don't understand that hard built fear, that pain, that degrading misery that is still raised in children from other countries. You can't teach that."  
"I think we degrade people quite enough." She smiled, lunging a front kick towards me. I dodged to the side, beating her ankle away with my outer forearm. "So, have you started feeling it yet?" She asked with a smirk. I knew what she meant, yet all I could do was kick myself for not thinking it sooner. Of course she would know about the serum, I wasn't going to be the first one they used it on, or the last. Rayon beat forward, punch with her dominant side before turning into a roundhouse kick. I blocked it, but she got close enough for what she wanted to say. "You should be careful with how much you show. They'll up your dosage if they see you lose focus." She said, elbowing my neck before pulling away.  
"They have you on it too?" I asked, beating off two elbows.  
"They used too."  
"So how did you get off?"  
"You barter with them. They're a business just like any other. They know that upping the dosage makes you less effective if they do it wrong, and it's not an easy science. Agree to something they want, and get something you want in return. That way they know you'll stick around." She shrugged, bouncing back and forth as we circled again. "What is it they give you?" I asked, finally moving forward to give two sharp punches to the face. She blocked the first but not the second, so I landed one to the throat. "Nice try." She smirked, her tone now wheezing. "Ask for something they can prove you want. It'll be a whole lot easier." She sent a final front kick combo my way, front then back leg, followed by a dominant side punch. I blocked the front kick with my knee, the back with my forearms, and as a result I ducked the punch. Before she could retract I grabbed her arm, locking behind her and kicking her legs out to her knees. I leaned in closely, both of us breathless. "Thanks for the intel."

Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

I was called into briefing around 4pm, though tracked from the last time I went topside I could have that wrong. "Ah, Williams – the Jacobi device."  
"Yes?"  
"Did you see it during your last contract?"  
"No. I assumed it was locked in a safe somewhere. You said the authorities would get it." She huffed before bringing up photos on her screen.  
"Well, it wasn't. Seems that Jacobi hadn't brought the weapon to the deal, or maybe his brother got to it once you left. He's handed it off to Mia Kulikov, a first-rate weapons dealer operating out of Florida." I questioned it before huffing along with her.  
"Where am I going?" She seemed pleased by this reaction, as though it meant I was compliant finally … maybe I was.  
"Not too far south. Her Uncle is hosting a Gala tonight at his San Diego mansion, intel suggests it's a cover for the sale."  
"Is baby Jacobi or Kulikov the target?"  
"Neither. These two are both heavy hitters be we can get them another time. Jacobi is still finding his feet, chances are this won't be the first time they do business together."  
"So what's the job then?"  
"Retrieval."  
"… You want me to get the nuke?"  
"Yes." She said this as though it was nothing. "You'll be fully protected … of course."

Of course.

" _So, where's this beautiful woman Matty wants us to take down?" Jack asked into coms.  
_ " _Her name is Mia, Jack. Mia Kulikov. She is one of the biggest weapons dealers on the black market, and intel says she's hauling something huge." Riley retorted.  
_ " _Yeah, yeah, I know. The nuke you could get into the Pentagon." Jack said. I watched him roll his eyes across the pool and couldn't help but smirk. He knows how important this mission is. Matty's freaked about it, and I assume there's some secondary task that she's got Riley and Jack doing, otherwise why would she have wanted me and Bozer out of the war room this morning? "Ladies and Gentlemen, raise your glasses, I think we have eyes on the princess." Riley said, shaking hands with Jack across the pool as if they didn't know each other. "Great, now how are we gonna get her alone?" Jack asked, turning back across the pool. Most guests at this party were people watching like hawks, funnily enough it actually helped, cause no one noticed us staring at Mia. "Guys, I think I have an idea." I said, my eyes locking between the DJ and the waitress with the fresh champagne bottles._

 _Something interesting: carbonated drinks, like soda or champagne, are carbonated by diffusing carbon dioxide into a regular drink. The homemade ways to do this are pretty limitless, but what's more important is how volatile the drinks can be once they're made. Changes in regulated temperature can have dramatic effects on these drinks, especially champagne because of the cork. As the temperature of the champagne rises, the cork absorbs the carbon dioxide that is being released by the change. So when chilled bottles like these change temperature when removed from the fridge, it's only a matter of time before the corks are ready to blow. All I need to do, is add a little extra heat. "Jack, can you get that waitress with the champagne to walk by the DJ table?"  
_ "… _I'm not even gonna ask why." He huffed._

 _It's not really the DJ table I'm all that bothered about, but the drinks coolers next to it. Portable coolers like these use thermoelectric plates to essentially move the heat generated by the electricity from one side to the other. The most important part of all of this however, is that these plates can be used in reverse, to apply enough to heat to create the distraction we need. I broke open a couple of the coolers, pulling out the plates and stashing them in my pockets before Jack brought the waitress over. I cleared my throat as they approached, and Jack stopped her, asking her about her outfit. He can be a charmer when he wants to be. The plates were still hot on the side I leaned against the bottles she was carrying, and within a few seconds the bottles popped. The whole party turned to stare at the loud noise and the alcohol going everywhere._

 _In the exploding champagne Jack grabbed Mia, and I … saw a ghost. As Jack and Riley took Mia to exfil, I followed my blind crazy. A beautiful emerald green satin dress, with those strawberry blonde waves twisting through the crowd, I really did start to feel like I was chasing shadows. "Mac, you planning on joining us?" Jack asked, sounding exasperated.  
_ " _Yeah just, gimme a minute." I said, pushing through the rest of the crowd. I followed into the house, turning corner after corner. She went upstairs, and I lost her._

I have the code, I have the guards off my back, but I still have a tail. It took me a minute to figure out who it was, but I … they shot me up again and I couldn't think about it properly. I could feel how badly I wanted to just turn around, but I didn't. I twisted and turned through the crowd until I lost him upstairs and headed straight for the vault. Get the device, get the hell out. It's not that hard.

I found the vault and entered the security information. I didn't think all that Mission: Impossible stuff with the fake contacts for a retinal scanner was an actual thing but, here I am, having blue eyes for the first time in my life. Retinal scanning was just the first level of security, followed by the use of the fake finger prints I was wearing, the 16-digit alphanumeric password, and the blood test. Lucky Mrs Evil happens to get tested. I don't really believe that part of the file if I'm honest, but I dropped the blood onto the integrated lancet and it fooled the system nonetheless.

Once inside it was clear which device I was looking at. There were a few in the room, but there was no missing the centre piece, a strange future-tech looking think that looked like a silver cross between a football and a jelly-fish. As I approached I saw the light hit it differently, watching the shades of silver and grey shift across the sphere. It looked like something from an alien ship, unfortunately my literature on the mission had taught me better. It was smaller than a football, not too hard to get into the fairly large purse I had brought with me.

I slipped out of the vault without much interest, and back out into the party. When I got to the top of the stairs however I was met with the whole and broken truth. There he was. He was stood there, looking around the party, focusing on other women in green dresses. He couldn't see me. Not properly. He might've caught a glimpse of me in the crowd, but he couldn't get a real look. That was of course the drugs talking. If I had control over myself right ow I think I would run to him, my emotions overwhelming me in the polar opposite direction. I felt my hand reach for him over the balcony, but the rest of me stuck to the mission, and I disappeared before he saw me again.

 _Back at the Phoenix and I still couldn't believe it. I couldn't get the image of her out of my head. She looked so alive and so beautiful. My first thought was to find proof, of course. But what was I supposed to do? Dig up her grave? This was all too much.  
_ " _Excuse me? Excuse me? BOY WONDER!" That summoned me back into the room. "There I was about to congratulate you on getting Mia to the foundation successfully, and yet you seem to be too far away to hear it."  
_ " _Uh, sorry."  
_ " _What's the rub blondie?" She asked. Matty wasn't the type of person to let this go, but I couldn't tell her. I honestly wasn't sure if I could tell anyone.  
"Nothing. Uh, what happened to the weapon?"  
_" _That's our next problem. Mia was supposed to give us a location, but thanks to a visit from our favourite Cage, we now know that it was at the party."  
_ " _What?" Jack asked, standing up like he was completely outraged. "Then why didn't we go get it when we had the chance?"  
_ " _We didn't know it was there, Jack. It was weak intel at best but I wanted to act before we lost her."  
_ " _Well look at that Matty, we got her just in time for her to be useless."  
_ " _Don't you talk to me like that Dalton." Now she's mad. "Mia gave us what we needed to know about the buyer. But they don't have it either. So, go home, get some rest. You guys are on ice until we track down who stole the nuke."  
_ " _Time off?" Now he's enthusiastic.  
_ " _Yes Jack. You on board?"  
_ " _Don't gotta tell me twice." Jack said, grabbing his jacket and leaving._

 _I left too, eventually. I couldn't stay there, or think about anything else but … her. Yeah I know what you're thinking,_ 'the idea that she's alive should be enough in itself for him to say her name' _, well, I'm just not ready yet. I could swear to you that I saw her, but I have to know for sure. Riley looped the surveillance at the party, so we weren't gonna see her on there. I sat down on the couch and started to conduct a cognitive interview on myself. I was just getting back to the party when I was forced back into the present. I huffed and went to the door. "Hola, amigo. I got beer." Jack raised the six pack he'd brought over, and I knew he was in the mood to pry. "I'm not really-."  
_ " _Great!" Jack said, cutting me off and pushing past me into the house. He'd noticed what had happened with Matty, and he wasn't about to let it go._

 _We stood on the deck for a while, just staring out at the city. The idea of trying to explain this to Jack was like … well it was like explaining Nikki again, but so much worse. "I saw her, Jack." I said, feeling the tears burning my eyes_ _already.  
_ " _Saw who?" He frowned. I looked over to him, and one look at me he knew. We both turned to face each other. "Don't … Dude. Don't do that to yourself. Not to drudge up negative memories but, we literally watched her die. It can't have been her."  
_ " _It can't have been anyone else. Jack, I know it sounds insane." I huffed and turned back out to the valley, leaning on the fence. "I've been wracking my brain trying to understand how I saw her. I know how crazy it sounds, Jack."  
_ " _Yeah it sounds pretty insane, man." I didn't look at him. I couldn't stop thinking about what I saw. "Mac. Mac, look at me." Jack said, making me turn to him. I pursed my lips as I met his eye. "… Alright." He frowned.  
_ " _Alright?"  
_ " _Yeah. Man, whether you saw her or not, this is gonna haunt you until you know. So, I'm with you." I nodded, and we didn't say anything more about it._

I made it back to the base successfully. Given the circumstances the fact I got the weapon back at all feels like a win to me. "I'd like to oversee the disposal." I said as my infamous boss lifted her iPad again – dismissing me. "That won't be necessary."  
"General." I said, stepping forward. She looked up at me between her unamused frown.  
"Our team will dispose of the weapon safely. Your job on this case is done."  
"With all due respect General, this was the first case I worked here and I'd like to see it through." She wasn't even looking at me at this point, and I realised I wasn't going to get what I wanted. Not because she was stubborn or because I was being insubordinate, but because they weren't getting rid of the nuke. If this were any indication, I couldn't give them Angus. No matter how much they might know, I can't admit that power to them.

Unfortunately, however, I didn't have to. The conversation that the General put to me made me realise how valuable I actually was. This wasn't a large organisation, just one that was exceptionally funded. Rayon and I were two of a handful of their operatives, and I was an asset they weren't willing to get rid of. "You don't have time. Tonight, you move into new quarters."  
"New quarters?"  
"Above ground. You'll be integrated into a spot within the Czechian Mob, operating in Los Angeles."  
"What?"  
"Your file and packed things are waiting for you in your room. There are car keys and the address of your new apartment." I thought about what this could mean, about how shady it was down here. But the idea of a fake ID and freedom. Access? That was worth more than a nuke as those damn meds started wearing off. "What's more important to you? Watching a bomb disposal, or a little freedom?"  
"You still have a tracker in me."  
"I said a little."  
"… How long do I have to make contact?"  
"Two weeks."  
"… Sold."


	24. Chapter 24: Speakerbox

Chapter 24: Speakerbox

This one reminds me of Die Hard. Maybe I've just seen too many movies, but the assassination of a wealthy business man at the top of a high-rise at the office Christmas party? That feels pretty Die Hard to me. I'm not supposed to know what they want with him, though I would assume that given his value this is more likely to be a private contract, be it ransom or otherwise. I had lost the will to care at this point. They had me in a vice and they knew it. In fact, it seems as though no matter what I do or where I end up, my caring for Angus always puts him, and therefore other people, in danger.

I was half expecting the building to be called Nakatomi Plaza to be completely honest with you, but wasn't given the luxury of that entertainment. I had wanted to wear my signature green, but they put me in black, as if I needed to come across any more as an assassin. I picked up a glass for expensive champagne on the way in, and when I say champagne I really do mean the region in France and not overpriced sparkling wine. Though as much of a fuss as I may make, it all tastes like bitter carbon to me.

I worked the room for a while, spoke to no one, made sure I knew exactly where everyone was in the room. Three guards by the elevator, two more at each end of the bar, a dozen dotted around the room, and most importantly; four crowding a VIP area by the window where Mr Jonathan Barrett Lacroix was sat with two young blonde women. They were half his age, if not less, and certainly weren't there by choice. I was just about to make my pass, distract the man to get him away from his body guards when I was forced to retreat.

How could he be here? The last thing this operation needs, and with the overloads breathing down my neck, is for the team to show up. But there they were. I could see Jack's earpiece once I noticed him by the bar. When scanning for security I was annoyed that I'd missed him. I scanned over Jack, trying to read his lips and figure out why they were there. Before I could do gauge their involvement, Jack stood up from the bar, drawing his weapon. I thought about engaging him but realise there were better things to do when I followed his eye line. I stepped aside and blended with the crowd as security took the young blonde tuxedo-clad man off to what was likely some dark basement.

Jack moved off from the bar, weaving through the crowd and slipping through the door they'd taken Angus through. Riley was good, but she wouldn't have done the research I had. There's something you can gain from running your own operations. Not that I had planned for this, but in the event of a failed attempt, I checked the building plans and took note of the secure rooms in the basement. Did you know that aluminium is actually one of the strongest metals, while also being one of the lightest? Car companies are making their vehicles out of it, because it saves money on fuel when the car doesn't weigh as much. The same can be said for this particular set of secure rooms in the sub-basement of this building. This makes them unfortunately difficult to penetrate. Where Jack is going the direct route, likely hoping to get Angus out before they make it to the rooms, I know another route.

The escape route. The fewer doors the better when it comes to secure areas of course, but anything less than two can be hazardous. I took the main elevator down to the 5th floor, found my stashed bag and changed. I wasn't fighting anyone in a floor-length black silk gown. Though I was going to stick with black. I binned the bag and headed to the private elevator shaft that Mr Lacroix had put in when he moved into the building. I wasn't going to be calling this elevator, but since I knew it would be down there on standby for when the business man wanted to leave, I didn't have to worry too much about it crushing me. I pried the doors of the shaft open and began my descent.

I dropped quietly onto the roof of the lift, reaching down for the hatch and unlocking it slowly. I leaned down and peaked inside, to be sure no one was in there, before sitting back and taking my shoes off. I wedged one in opposing corners of the elevator, so it wouldn't be going anywhere. Because of elevator safety features, obstructions are set as failures, so the elevator doesn't sustain damage from pushing past something. I opened the hatch fully and dropped down slowly, landing in a crouch and assessing the size of the elevator. I stood up, going to the doors and prying them open. Fun fact: if you can get your head through a space, you can fit the rest of your body through too. Because in rotation, your skull is the widest bone in your body.

When the coast was clear I slipped through the doors, remembering what I could of the layout. I turned right down the hall and left at the end, being confronted with my friend guard. He had his back to me. I lifted off the wall, jumping onto his back and crushing his larynx before he could make a sound. I took his gun, moving further down the hall and taking an access door on my right down to the sub level that the elevator won't get too. It's not an entire level, more like a half level, with only half a dozen rooms lining a grim hallway. Before I could even start to clear them, I could hear the yelling and the grunting. "Why are you here?" The man asked.

"Free champagne?" I pursed my lips in a smile, hearing Angus' exquisite voice like it was the first time. I heard the heavy land of a fist against flesh and couldn't help but move closer. Just as I got to the door of the room I was interrupted by a sudden burst of Jack through the door I'd entered from. The only door out of here. He was going at it with two guards, but before I could consider helping him he started yelling. "Riley now! Do it now!" The lights went out. All the power went out.

I couldn't see what Jack was doing, but my focus returned to the commotion in the room behind me as I heard guards scrambling around to get out. The door opened in the darkness and I took both of them down without hesitation. They were wearing too much padding to be Angus. I turned on the torch at the top of the gun, seeing Angus tied to a chair in the middle of the room. Then there he was, and for once when I say that I'm not talking about Angus. I'm talking about the silver business suit that I was supposed to kill anyway. Two to the chest and one to the head, he slid down the far wall and I was done. "Jack?" Angus called out to the darkness. I slid the gun harness over my shoulder and went to untie Angus. I don't know if he could see the hair or the dress, but as I untied his ankles he started guessing. "Cage?" I got his ankles free and went to his wrist, glancing up at him. "Not quite." I breathed. I felt his entirely body stiffen as he heard my voice. Once I untied his other wrist I stood up straight, just as Jack came in the door. "Come at me!" He yelled, gun raised. I kept my back to Jack, looking at Angus as he stood up so close to me I could feel every hair on his body reach out for me. There was a difficult silence in the room as we all tried to figure out what to say.

Riley beat us all to it, and I heard her over Angus' com. "Guys, the back-up power is like 15 seconds out, get out of there. Now." Angus made eye contact with me, and I shook my head at him.  
"Jack, do you know how to get out of here?"  
"Same way I came in baby."  
"Elevator shaft." I breathed. Angus nodded at me, and passed me to get Jack out of the doorway. I kept my face hidden as I turned to lead them out. Just then the backup lights came on, a miserable orange shade you wouldn't wish on anyone. I had to make a snap decision. I turned to Angus, my face no longer obscured from Jack's view. "Half a floor up, through the hatch, climb six floors, out the red circular door."  
"Where are you going?" As Angus asked what he wasn't really asked, more guards came around the corner. "I'm gonna get you there." I said, staring into his beautiful eyes. I wanted so badly to go with them, to kiss him and stay with him and never leave. I reached a hand to his neck and whispered into his non-com ear. "I'll find you." I whispered, before running at the guards at the end of the hall.

I bounded off the wall, kicking one guard in the face and wrapping my calf around another, swinging him down and using the gun from another to shoot them both. I wrapped the gun harness around myself, forcing myself not to take a final glance at Angus as I ran down the hall to clear their path.

I would. I knew I had to now. Secret was out, there was no protecting him anymore. This had forced my hand, and whether I had decided or not, the decision had now been made for me.

I had to get out.


	25. Chapter 25: Find My Way Back

Chapter 25: Find My Way Back

What am I supposed to feel now? What do I do?

When I got back I ripped off my dress before dropping on all fours. I felt helpless, completely overtaken by my heart, my head unable to make sense of the occasion. I had to do something. I couldn't just go on. I … everything I am doing is awful. I got out of this life when Angus found me. But at least when I did this before it was on my own terms. I don't exist. I'm not real I'm a gravestone, a memory, and a killer. How can I get out of a hole when I'm not technically in the hole? Do I need to exist on paper? Do I need to be a person when I'm an idea. I don't exist anymore, and I thought that meant that I had nowhere to go. But maybe I do. Maybe I have the same place I've always had. Maybe because he knows, maybe when he believes that I'm real, when he sees me, that'll put me back in existence. The way he looked at me tonight, it felt like everything was real for the first time since… I've been floating. Call it the drugs or the electrical kill switch in my neck or being cut off from everyone I've ever loved, but I haven't felt real in a long time. At least when I did this by choice I knew what I was doing, but nothing feels real when you don't have control over it. Though I'm sure the drugs have been making a difference.

I got up off the floor and went to change. A pair of shorts and a t-shirt covered me, and I didn't think about anything else. I don't have a phone, I didn't need a key. I just needed… I need to disrupt the signal to the tracker in my neck that will kill me. I had been working on a plate aluminium that I could use to hide the signal. They wouldn't only be unable to track me, they wouldn't be able to kill me. But the signal will shoot inwards, and it will hurt. The longer the electrical field circulates inside the aluminium the worse it'll get. I pulled it from a bottom drawer and clasped it around my neck, hooking the two ends together. It's not fun to wear a large metal plate around your neck. But at least it wasn't far to go. I walked across town, and up the hill and through the ridiculous forest why does Angus live in the middle of nowhere? Though I guess given that he's a spy that's a stupid question. I walked right up to the front door, but I couldn't bring myself to knock. It was 4 in the morning. I had to do something, I had made it all the way there I couldn't give up now. I guess there was something in my head telling me that this wasn't me getting him back. This wasn't having things the way they were. I'm a dead girl with a noose around her neck. Not to mention, after all the time that's passed … is he even gonna wanna see me?

I stepped away from the door. I walked round the house, scaling the back fence and climbing onto the deck. The door was locked, but so much for spies these boys had left a window open. I pushed it the rest of the way, enough to slip through and drop down into the house. I pulled the window back to its original position and turned to see him. He was stood there under the arch just staring at me. We stared at each other, singular and unmoving, each of us scanning the other for reality. I don't think either of us knew what to say to the other. 'Hey guess what i"m back from the dead, saved your life and I'm gonna get killed for real soon - help?' Not really an opening line I wanna use. "Can't sleep?" I asked eventually. He let out a caught breath, water brimming in his eyes. He frowned after a moment, clearing his throat. I could feel his presence so close to me and it hitched my own breathing, I couldn't stay away from him any longer. This was freedom, this is what it feels like.  
"You're here." I nodded in response, and he finally took a deep, true breath. "Where have you been?"  
"Dead." I said, a shrug in my voice though I hadn't meant to put it there. He scoffed at that, shaking his head. "Some people took me. I didn't have a choice. But I can't do it anymore I can't go back to what I was." I began to break down in tears, letting it finally get to me after all this time. I might pretend to be tough but, for the most part I'm terrified. Angus crossed the room, taking my face in his hands and joining me in tears as we reunited. His fingers trailed through my hair as he pulled me against him. "Please help me." I breathed.  
"Of course." He replied. I wrapped my arms around him and we kissed. This was the sweetest relief I would ever have. The insatiable true happiness I experience being around Angus is the strongest drug I will ever have, and I will never let go of it.

Angus picked me up, carrying me through the house, closing his door behind us. He turned, sitting down on the bed as I sat above him and ran one hand through his hair as the other wondered down his bare back. Angus' love for me was just as insatiable as my own, as he reached and grabbed for every part of me he could get his hands on. My hand on his back moved over to his chest and I pushed him back onto the bed. Finally, we had each other.

I woke up as the sun streamed in through the curtains, and got up to close them, taking a final glance back at Angus in the morning light before drawing us back into darkness. I lifted a knee onto the bed slowly as Angus stirred. "Lola." He breathed, his dry mouth clapping and swallowing as he began to wake.  
"I'm here." I breathed, lying down next to him quietly. I wrapped my arm across his chest, pressing my lips to his shoulder. He seemed to look at me with his eyes closed. "Yeah, you are." A smile pulled across his lips in the darkness before he kissed my hair and dropped back into sleep.

* * *

Hello Beautiful Readers!

I am so sorry that my chapters have been so sparse. We're nearing the end now, and I see the exhilarating spikes in readers when I post something new which just warms my heart immensely. I would love to hear your thoughts, if you like the character? If you want a sequel? If you want me to write about something else? If you hate it all and my grammar sucks and my character is terrible and the story is wrong. Tell me. I wanna know everything. Or anything you're willing to give the time to write to me.

Thank you so much for your patience and kindness.

I look forward to giving you all some closure! (and a little memento).

Love you all,

Carynthian


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